Remember Me, Remember Us
by Grace Ryan
Summary: Senior Year Sequel to Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder. Kurt and Blaine have conquered all odds after the train wreck that was their junior year and beginning of their relationship. Now they're BOTH at McKinley and something else now threatens them...
1. Chapter 1

New story even though I already have a WIP. I've been promising this one for a while now and I think it's time to make good on that promise. :-P

If you are a new reader and you haven't read Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder, you might be able to follow this without reading that insanly long story, but there are a little details here and there that are referenced that are explained in DMTHGF. I would suggest reading that one first, but it's kind of insanely long and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to read it.

Rated M for future chapters.

The first chapter moves kind of fast. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Kurt was in shock. They all were. Kurt, Mike, Tina, Kurt's father, and Blaine's parents all stood outside the hospital room, looking through the glass as doctors and nurses swarmed over an unconscious Blaine.

Blaine's hair was still wet from the accident, but his clothes had been cut from his body and he was now naked, for the time being, under hospital blankets.

No one was crying; not yet anyway. Everyone was in too much shock to do or say anything. Mike and Tina's parents had already come and gone as the couple expressed a need to stay with their friend. Their clothes were dry ones that they had changed into. Kurt was still standing in his water drenched designer jeans and button up shirt, clutching the bag of dry clothes his father had brought him.

_Wake up_, Kurt thought. _Just wake up._ He inhaled and his breath caught audibly, causing a domino effect of everyone looking at him, then both Tina and Blaine's mother crying into Mike and Blaine's fathers' shoulders. Burt, Kurt's father, put his arm around Kurt's shoulders and Kurt finally felt the hot sting of tears flowing from his eyes.

It was an accident. It really was, but Kurt couldn't help but wonder "what if." What if they went to a different movie time for their double date? What if someone else besides Blaine was driving? What if they waited for the rain to slow down before getting in the car? What if Blaine kept his eyes on the road instead of taking that one second to look at Kurt with his warm honey eyes and smile?

If any of those things were different, would they all be in the hospital right now? Would Kurt and Mike be completely unscathed from being on the passenger side of the car? Would Tina have needed stitches on her left eyebrow? Would the deer that caused Blaine to slam on his brakes and hydroplane off the road and into the lake have not been in the road?

Kurt cringed at the memory. He wasn't sure what made Blaine hit his head and knock him unconscious, but the effect of it caused Blaine's foot to slide off the brake peddle and end up as dead weight on the gas peddle. The car was sinking further down into the man made lake and Kurt was struggling to wake Blaine up while Mike shouted out orders to Kurt who couldn't hear him.

Water was now threatening to burst through the windows when Mike grabbed Kurt and told him to switch places with him. Mike practically dragged Kurt to the backseat. "Use this," he handed his keys from his pocket to Tina and made sure Kurt was listening. He took the keys out of the ignition and Kurt saw that Blaine's keys had the same screwdriver-like contraption on them that Mike's had. "Push really hard on the back window when I say go. The window will break and you two can swim to the surface. I'll get Blaine out." Mike stopped Kurt from protesting and counted to three.

Kurt did as he was told. He took a deep breath, Tina broke the window, and the two of them kicked to the surface after escaping out of the back car window. Mike had done the same to his own window and had a little difficulty getting Blaine out from behind the wheel after the water came rushing into the car, but he snatched Blaine and barely made it to the surface on the one breath he held.

Tina had already run off to flag down a driver to call 911 before Kurt had even surfaced. Kurt helped drag Blaine to the shore and Mike immediately, though out of breath, started the prep work for CPR. "Wait, what are you doing?" Kurt asked when he saw Mike unbuttoning Blaine's jacket.

"He was unconscious before we got in the water. He wasn't able to hold his breath like we were. He probably has water in his lungs. We need to get it out, or he's going to die. You know mouth to mouth?" Kurt nodded his head quickly and responded with a 'yes.' "I'm too out of breath to do that part. Tilt his head extremely gently and block his nose. Give a full breath when I say."

"One. Two. Three…" Mike counted out to ten, compressing Blaine's chest with his hands. "Blow!"

Kurt tilted Blaine's head chin up and blocked his nose. He formed his lips to Blaine's and blew every ounce of air he had in his lungs. Mike watched as Blaine chest rose and fell as Kurt's air left his lungs. "Again!" Kurt yelled. _Come on Blaine. Come on baby you can do this. Come back to me,_ Kurt thought as he tried to focus on Mike's actions.

Mike and Kurt repeated their actions and after three tries, their efforts prevailed and Blaine's chest heaved as he coughed up water. His eyes fluttered open for a second and looked Kurt in the eyes before slowly closing again and falling unconscious once more. "Blaine?" Kurt screamed. "Blaine, no! Stay with me! Blaine! Blaine! Stay with me!" Sirens were heard in the back ground as Kurt repeatedly shook and slapped his boyfriend, trying to rouse him.

Now that they were in the hospital, the story had been told dozens of times now to police officers, parents, doctors, nurses, and EMT workers. When the crying had paused for the time being, Beth, Blaine's mom had hugged Kurt and asked him to change into dry clothes, stating, "It won't do much good to catch pneumonia." Kurt didn't want to argue with her that he was standing in a warm hospital and wet clothes weren't going to make him sick; so, with prodding from his father, he changed his clothes. He had lost the will to care that his dad picked out a pair of Finn's jeans by accident from the laundry and one of Kurt's white undershirts. It did comfort him, however, that Carol had thrown a sweatshirt she saw on Kurt's bed into the bag. The sweatshirt read _Dalton _across the chest and it belonged to Blaine. Kurt put it on and he clutched his arms across himself, feeling like Blaine was doing it as his scent wafted in the air.

Kurt returned to the glass window and saw that Blaine's parents were in the room now and Mike and Tina were standing outside.

"They said 'family only,' but Blaine's parents made it clear you can go in," Tina explained.

Kurt looked up to Burt with questioning eyes. He looked like a child for the first time in a long time. Kurt suddenly felt like he was scared to go in to see Blaine, who was still not awake. It was nearly an hour before Henry Anderson, Blaine's father, emerged from the room. He offered to buy everyone something to eat and drink from the cafeteria before putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder. _Blaine looks so much like him_, Kurt thought.

"You should be with Blaine," Henry said. He looked at Kurt with red rimmed eyes that could only come from a man that had just been crying out "My son; my little boy," just loud enough for his wife to hear.

Kurt simply nodded and everyone left with Henry. He waited a few minutes with his hand on the door knob, wishing for the strength to go in. He finally turned the knob and was taken aback at the sight of Blaine up close in his hospital gown and his mother sitting on the side of the mattress, holding his hands.

Kurt hated hospitals ever since his mother's death when he was eight and seeing Blaine unconscious only made him think of when his dad was in the hospital after his heart attack. Beth motioned for Kurt to join her on the right side of the bed.

He pulled up a chair and sat close, looking on with a mixed expression of somberness and longing. Blaine looked peaceful; like he was only sleeping and could wake up at any minute. "The doctor said his brain needs time to reboot. A couple of his ribs are broken, but they said it's normal for people to have broken bones from CPR. He'll also have a scar from where he needed stitches." Beth seemed to be talking to air as her eyes stayed fixed on her youngest son.

"He needed stitches?" Kurt asked. He hadn't remembered Blaine bleeding.

"Yes, from where he hit his head." There was silence again.

Kurt watched Blaine's chest rise and fall and occasionally something would twitch. "Would you like to talk to him alone?" Beth asked.

"I can't ask that," Kurt replied.

"You don't have to. I'm offering."

Kurt swallowed hard. "O-okay."

Beth managed the tiniest of a reassuring smile and released her son's hand. She got up and left the room, heading for the cafeteria.

"Blaine?" Kurt started. He got up and sat where Blaine's mother was sitting. "Blaine, it's me, Kurt." He took Blaine's hand in his own and held it tight. His hand was warm compared to Kurt's. "The doctors always say that it might help to talk, so I'm trying. I'm sorry I panicked in the car. You passed out and we were sinking. Mike saved your life. He knew exactly what to do. He and Tina are still here. They're in the cafeteria with your parents and my dad. They're all waiting for you to wake up." Kurt moved closer and brushed Blaine's curls with his hand. He forced an encouraging voice. "So, why don't you wake up? Blaine? Everyone is worried about you. I know I am. I can't wait to nurse you back to health. You told me the last time you were sick in bed that I was your favorite nurse. Do you remember, Blaine? I cuddled with you because it made you sleep better and I ended up just as sick as you?" Kurt forced a smile. "Please wake up? Baby?" He leaned forward and kissed Blaine's forehead. "I love you so much. Please. Just wake up."

A minute or two went by and there was a silence in the room. Kurt couldn't think of anything else to say. He was too busy focusing on not crying too hard. His breath caught and gasped when Blaine started fidgeting and moving slightly.

Then, just like that, Blaine's beautiful honey eyes opened and looked upon the angel in front of him. His eyes glistened and the corners of his mouth just barely turned up. "Blaine?" Kurt asked tentatively.

Blaine snapped out of his serene expression and looked around the room; at the white walls, the white ceiling, the machines at his bedside, then finally at the fair skinned boy in front of him who was holding his hand. He was confused. How did he get here? Where was he?

"Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt asked, not knowing what he was supposed to say or do at the moment.

Blaine looked confusedly at Kurt once more and asked, "Who's Blaine?"

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><p>Do you get the significance of the title now? :)<p>

In case there are any medical experts reading things, I'm not planning on researching a whole lot to make this accurate. Whatever happens... it pure dramatic effect and literary licence.

What does everyone think? Please review!

Also, follow me on Tumblr :) I put behind the chapter stuff up from time to time.

URL: grace ryan

xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for all the reviews! It means so much to me! I noticed some old friends and some new ones as well. It's great to hear from all of you again :)

If you read chapter 1 right when it was released, you may notice (I hope it changed) that I changed the title slightly. I changed it to Remember Me, Remember Us because someone else had the same title and it was another Blaine amnesia story. I just read it last night after someone told me about it and don't worry, my story is NOTHING like the other one, but since she had the title first, I changed it to avoid confusion.

This first handful of chapters are kind of all about Kurt and how he handles things, so I'm sorry if there's a glimpse of Blaine and I don't mention anything from his point of view.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Kurt was rushed out of the room after he alerted the nurse that Blaine was awake. Blaine had begun to panic and started shouting out questions of where he was and why. The doctor's had given him something to calm him and Kurt ran to retrieve Henry and Beth.

He didn't go back in the room. Not even when Blaine's parents said he could.

"Kurt." Henry came out into the waiting room to talk to Kurt after a short while. Kurt had refused to go anywhere near Blaine's room, but found it impossible to leave the floor. "Blaine has amnesia. He's scheduled for a brain scan in the morning to assess any possible damage. They don't know if it will be temporary or permanent, but all the same…" he trailed off.

"He doesn't remember…? Anything?" Kurt asked.

"Not me, not you… Not himself."

"So, what do we do?" The news hurt Kurt more than he could possibly imagine, but he felt he had to be strong. He held back the tears and the anger and tried to remain calm.

"The doctor suggests lots of patience, understanding, and surrounding him with familiar things." Kurt responded with a nod of his head, but Henry looked like there was more that needed to be explained. "Listen, Kurt," Henry sounded wary. "I don't know how to say this." He scratched his head. "I want you to come around the house as often as possible. Talk with him, help him, bring his homework when the time is right; be there for him."

Kurt was sensing something coming. "But…"

Henry hesitated. He had his eyes down and put his hands in his pockets the same way Blaine did when he was nervous to say something. Then he turned his eyelids up, unveiling the same honey eyes Blaine had with long brown eyelashes, and looked Kurt square in the face. "I want you to be his friend; not his boyfriend." He paused to let Kurt comprehend the information. "My son needs support right now, not romance. Maybe being in a relationship to someone he doesn't know would only confuse him and frustrate him more. I imagine it must be hard for him as it is with two parents and two other siblings that love him and dote on him when he doesn't understand why." Kurt kept his head held high, but looked away and his lip started trembling. One hand went on his hip while the other touched his hairline. He started rocking from one foot to the other. Henry put his hand on Kurt's shoulder to comfort him. "Kurt, I'm sorry. You're like family to us and I know this is hard-"

"No you don't," Kurt murmured. "You think I don't know that boy in there isn't my boyfriend? I keep thinking back to the lake when he opened his eyes. It was only for a second, but his eyes looked sad, like he knew. Like he was saying goodbye." He sighed. "Mr. Anderson, as far as I'm concerned, Blaine broke up with me before the ambulance came." He gulped. "It's just-" another gulp, "to hear it out loud-" He started nodding his head a lot. "I'm sorry. This isn't about me. It's about Blaine and what's best for him. I think you're right about him needing a friend. I can't expect him to be in a relationship that he doesn't feel comfortable in. He may not even know he's gay." Once the words were out Kurt realized that even though he said it, Kurt hadn't even thought about that part. He had an epiphany. "I'll make you a deal. I won't tell him about he and I being in a relationship and make sure no one else does either if you promise not to tell him that he's gay."

Henry tilted his head slightly, clenching his jaw for a second. He didn't wholly like this idea. "Do you know how many times he's told me that being gay is part of who he is?" Henry asked with his triangle eyebrows raised. It wasn't until last spring that he had begun to embrace Blaine as a gay man thanks to Burt Hummel.

"I know, but this is just something that he has to figure out on his own. Coming to terms with being gay is confusing and hard, but if someone _tells_ you before you're ready, well, he might rebel against it and act out." Kurt remembered his own realization that he was gay all those years ago and remembered being thrust through the open closet by everyone else before he was ready. He did everything he could to pretend he was straight. Even after he had come out he was angry because he wanted to be straight so that he could connect with his father more. If it weren't for the situation, he would have shuddered at the memory of his clothing choices back them. Overalls were not in fashion. "Just please trust me."

Henry threw his hands up. "Okay. I trust you." Both Kurt and Henry looked upon each other and sighed. "Are you going to come back in? Re-meet him?"

Kurt chewed on his bottom lip. "No," he finally said. "I think I'm just going to go sit in the waiting room for a while. He's had a really stressful night and I'm sure he doesn't need anything else. Maybe call me when he's settled back at home?"

Henry licked his lips and sighed again. "Sure. If you're not going in, then maybe you should go home and get some rest. It's been a stressful night for you too."

"I will eventually, but I don't want to leave yet. I'll stay in the waiting room if anything happens."

The grown man pulled Kurt in for a hug. "I haven't said it yet, but thanks for helping save my son. I'll never be able to repay what you've done for this family."

"I'll never be able to repay him for what he's done for me," Kurt said as he let go of Blaine's father. "Maybe we're even."

Hours passed and Tina and Mike had gone home, knowing that Blaine was awake. Burt still remained at his son's side. "You can go see him whenever you want, you know."

"No," Kurt stated adamantly. "He needs his parents more and too much could overwhelm him right now." He didn't know if he actually believed what he said, but it was good enough to keep him from going back into that hospital room and facing the reality that the love of his life wasn't in the bed. It was a look-a-like; someone who knew nothing about how absolutely wonderful and perfect the real Blaine was and how they were meant for each other in every sense. No. Blaine was gone. _His_ Blaine was gone. A new Blaine Anderson was waking up and he didn't belong to Kurt.

Kurt thought back to the moment Blaine opened his eyes in the hospital room. He was happy, serene. It was the same look on his face that he wore every time they woke up next to each other. It was the same face Kurt wore whenever he saw Blaine. It was one that mirrored the emotion in his heart that said "How did I get so lucky?"

He didn't feel so lucky anymore. His luck had run out and he didn't know what was worse: that Blaine no longer belonged to Kurt, or that Kurt would always belong to Blaine no matter if he remembered him or not.

"I think we should go home," Kurt offered to Burt.

"We don't have to, son. We can stay as long as you want."

"I want to go home."

"No you don't. Kurt, I know you'd rather be here with Blaine."

"That's not Blaine and he doesn't know who I am. We're strangers. Can we please just go home?" Kurt snapped

Burt nodded his head, going along with Kurt's decision because he didn't know how else to make him see reason. He knew Kurt was hurting, so he just nodded his head and said, "Okay. Let's go then." Burt watched Kurt head for the elevators while Burt headed for Blaine's room.

Henry popped out and shook Burt's hand. "Kurt's practically falling asleep on his feet, so I'm going to take him home," he lied. "I'll hope for the best for Blaine and your family."

"Thank you. I really want Kurt to come around often, so I'll be in touch soon," added Henry.

They shook hands again and Burt went off, but not before catching a glimpse of Blaine sitting up in bed. He seemed to be ignoring what Beth was saying and staring at his blanketed toes. He was deep in thought. About what, Burt didn't know, but he kept walking back to the elevators.

Kurt had already disappeared down to the first floor and headed for the car. It wasn't until he reached the safety of his bedroom with the door closed that he let it all out. He screamed into his pillow and cried himself to sleep. _Blaine doesn't remember me. He doesn't remember us. I don't exist._

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><p>*pout*<p>

Please Review!

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URL: Grace-Ryan


	3. Chapter 3

Again, thank you to everyone who reviewed! It means so much to me!

Sorry, to those who were looking forward to a behind the chapter blog on my tumblr about chapter 2, but I decided not to write one because 1) my dash was filled with Chris Colfer at the Golden Globes and I didn't think anyone would care and 2) Everything I would have said is being explain in this chapter.

So, if you were one of those people who thought that Kurt gave up too quickly and was a coward for not going near Blaine's room, you'll get your explanation in this chapter as to why he did that.

I actually feel really bad for Kurt and I completly understand why he's doing what he's doing. It's hard for him, but he is being selfish.

Read on and you'll see his side of things. ~~~Grace

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Two weeks had passed since the accident and Kurt had all, but ignored almost every phone call from Blaine's parents. He collected Blaine's homework as asked, but delivered it to the Anderson family mailbox instead of going inside. He did everything to avoid seeing Blaine.

He cared about Blaine's health and frankly was still in love with him. He missed Blaine, but it hurt him to think of the love of his life not knowing anything about who he was or what they had. Kurt was supposed to be Blaine's soul mate. He told him so. Now Blaine's soul had no idea that Kurt's soul even existed, or at least, that's how he felt.

The only ones that had been invited to see Blaine, besides Kurt, was Mike and Tina, who visited Blaine regularly and showed him pictures.

"This one," Blaine said, pointing at a fair skinned boy in glee club. "That's Kurt? He was at the hospital when I woke up."

"Yeah he was," Mike confirmed.

"Are he and I friends?"

Mike and Tina eyed each other. It had been explained to them that they weren't to say anything to Blaine about being gay or being in a relationship with Kurt. "Yeah. You were friends," Tina answered. "You two were actually really close."

Blaine looked back at the picture, something was troubling him. Mike nudged Tina slightly and gave her a look that said _Be careful what you say_. The couple waited while Blaine looked more over the picture. "He wasn't your only friend though," Tina continued. "Everyone in glee club loved you and everyone else was nice to you at school."

"I think you were the most popular boy at you last school too," Mike chimed in.

"Dalton?" Blaine asked. "Mom and Dad said that I was the lead singer for the Warblers there."

"Yeah! I think I've got a picture of that too." Tina started flipping through the scrapbook Kurt, Rachel, and herself had put together of collected photos, mostly Kurt's, for Blaine. "There!" She smiled when she got to the Dalton Academy Section.

Blaine studied a group photo of last year's Warblers. He stood front and center between the boys and to his left, angled slightly towards him, was Kurt. "Kurt went to Dalton?"

Mike and Tina eyed each other again. "That's where you met…" Mike answered.

"What's wrong?" Tina asked, reading Blaine's expression.

The olive skinned boy scratched his head and gulped before answering. Something didn't add up to Blaine. He somehow felt betrayed by this Kurt person. "I don't understand. If Kurt and I were friends and really close, why isn't he here?" Blaine looked at Mike. "He helped you save my life. There are photos of him all over my room. He's the only one my parents call and he never picks up. Never! He drives here every day almost, but never comes inside. He was there in the hospital room when I woke up. He was the only one allowed in, by my parents. He obviously is someone important, but why? Why won't he come see me? Were we fighting about something?"

"No!" Tina emphasized, trying to comfort Blaine. "I think… I think he's just nervous."

"About what? I'm not contagious."

"He knows that. I think maybe he's worried that he'll say the wrong thing and upset you."

"Upsetting me would be better than ignoring me all together. I just want to meet him. That's all." Blaine looked pleadingly at Tina. "Will you talk to him? Please?"

"Of course. I can't promise anything will change, but we'll talk to him."

Even looking at a picture, Blaine felt an amazing pull to the fair skinned boy. He felt like he was missing something and maybe Kurt would know what it was.

The next day, at lunch, Mike and Tina sat at the lunch table with their usual crowd: Kurt, Artie, Mercedes, and Brittany.

"How's Blaine?" Kurt asked once everyone say down. He was always the first one to ask about Blaine.

"You would know if you went to see him" Mike snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt snapped back.

"Mike…" Tina soothed cautiously. She looked at Kurt, who looked more hurt than normal. "He's been asking about you." Kurt looked both puzzled and hopeful, but that was squashed as soon as Tina started talking again. "He doesn't remember you, but he knows that you were someone important to him. He's confused because you haven't been to see him."

"Why does he think I was someone important?" He left out the part about being important _to him_.

"He's not stupid, Kurt," Mike answered. "You both hung pictures all over his room of you two, you were awarded privileges to see him in the hospital that no one else was, and his parents call you practically every day. Calls that, apparently, you ignore." Mike was getting an attitude again. He and Blaine had grown close since the accident. Something about saving a life does that to you. It bothered him more that the person Blaine loved the most, before the accident, was being selfish and not going to see him.

Kurt closed his eyes and hung his head. "I-I can't see him. Not yet. I just can't."

"Maybe you should think more of him and less of yourself. As far as he's concerned, only a handful of people exist in this life and he thinks you don't want to see him. He's trying to figure out his life and he's figured out that you were a big part of it, but somehow, maybe you didn't or don't care."

"That's not true," Kurt said somberly. "I care."

"Then do something about it, man," Mike continued. "Help him. If not anyone else, he needs _you_ the most."

Kurt barely spoke the rest of the school day. Tina caught up with him as he walked to his car with his small stack of Blaine's homework. "Kurt," she called out. He stopped and turned. "Are you going to go in today?"

Kurt swallowed hard, thinking. "I don't know. I want to; I really do. I miss him so much, Tina, but I can't stop thinking that I'm going to screw up, or frustrate him, or treat him like a boyfriend. He's not anymore."

"He needs you, Kurt. He's lonely. They only people that he sees besides his family are doctors, Mike, and me." She paused. "He _wants_ to see you. He asked me to tell you that."

It was that last statement that Kurt couldn't argue with. He would go inside today. He'd see Blaine. He'd face his worst fear because Blaine asked him to. If Blaine wanted Kurt to do anything, he would because Kurt could never deny Blaine what he wanted. He loved Blaine with his whole heart and soul. That much never changed.

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><p>Stay tuned for Chapter 4 :) You'll fall in love with Klaine all over again. I know I have.<p>

Please Review!

Tumblr URL: grace-ryan


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

At three-thirty Kurt was sitting in his car in the Anderson driveway. He'd been sitting there for a half hour already and had Blaine's homework in his lap. He was nervous. His heart was beating fast and he was trying to convince himself not to leave. He'd already decided he was going to go inside. Today was the day he'd re-meet Blaine, but actually doing it was another thing entirely. Imagine meeting your soul mate, knowing that person was your soul mate, and wishing that they knew it too.

His head was filled with questions like: what if he doesn't like me? What if I say the wrong thing? What if his parents are mad at me and no longer want me to come around? Yeah… he was nervous. _I can do this,_ he told himself. He took a deep breath and got out of the car. He looked up at the house the Anderson's had recently bought in Lima just before school had started. It was white with black shutters and a red door, very suburban. They had planned to remodel the house, inside and out, but with Blaine happening, they had only managed remodeling the master bathroom and having a masonry worker redesign their driveway and walkway. It looked like The Anderson's hadn't had any more work done since before the accident.

Kurt, Carol, and Claire, Blaine's sister, helped Blaine's mother with the gardening around the front and back of the yard. He also helped Blaine pick out the color scheme and decorative design of Blaine's room. All the paint was bought, but the room was yet to be painted.

He remembered the day Blaine told him he was going to be transferring to McKinley. He almost cried… almost.

Blaine had picked up Kurt for a date in August and drove up to the house. Kurt asked what they were doing there and Blaine said he liked the house.

"You do?" Kurt asked. "It's nothing compared to the mansion you live in. This house looks like an unfinished garment."

"It needs some work, yes, but I think my parents bought a great suburban home for me, my sister, and Mom and Dad to live in. Maybe if they re-sided the house in vinyl with a cream color and had hunter green shutters with a door in the same color."

"I don't know about cream. Maybe some form of yellow- Wait… Did you just say that you parents just _bought_ this house?"

Blaine smiled his perfect smile and Kurt leapt across the seat. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and pressed his lips to Blaine's. "Really?" Kurt squealed. "This is two blocks away from my house. We're practically neighbors."

"Yes really."

"Are you still going to Dalton?"

"Nope. McKinley."

Kurt smashed his lips to Blaine's again dipping his tongue into Blaine's mouth.

"You inspired me, Kurt. When you came back here and faced all those people who chased you away… You're amazing and I can't imagine going through life without honoring what you did. If I stayed at Dalton, I wouldn't feel worthy of you. I had to be just as strong as you. I love you."

That was the point where Kurt almost cried. "Babe, you don't need to prove anything. After the year we had… James, Thad, Zach… I'm pretty sure we fought hard enough to prove we belong together. I'm just so happy I get to spend my senior year with you."

"_Our _senior year," Blaine corrected.

Back in the present, Kurt's ears were ringing with his own words: _after the year we've had. _It was true. Last year was fraught with anxiety and drama. Between distance and people getting in their way, it almost ruined them. _We were supposed to ride off into the sunset together. Live happily ever after._ Kurt took another deep breath and started walking towards the house. _Maybe Quinn was right last year. Happily ever after doesn't exist. This is my reality now._ He'd gotten as far as the walkway when Henry Anderson opened the front door. He looked like he was trying to open and shut the door as quietly as possible. Kurt stopped in his tracks when Henry shut the door and faced Kurt completely. "H-Hi, Mr. Anderson," Kurt stammered. He swallowed hard.

Henry met Kurt at the bottom of the porch steps. "You know the mailbox is over there," he stated more informatively than sarcastically. He pointed to the end of the driveway.

"Yeah," Kurt said apologetically. "I'm really sorry. It's just that I was-"

Henry waved his hand to stop Kurt from explaining. "I don't care. I'm not going to ask why you haven't been answering our calls or come to see Blaine, who's been asking to see you since he woke up in the hospital. But you would have known that if you answered the phone once in a while." Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but Henry cut him off again. "As it is, you're here now and this isn't about you or me. It's about Blaine. Now, I'm going to go back inside and you're going to ring the doorbell. Blaine will answer the door. Try not to look as sad as you do right now. It makes him upset because he thinks this whole thing is his fault and when people are sad he thinks he's letting them down."

Kurt took a deep breath. "Okay. I can manage a smile."

"How long are you staying?"

"I hadn't really made a plan."

"Dinner?" Henry asked.

"If you'll have me."

"Unless Blaine kicks you out, which I doubt, you're welcome to stay as long as you want." Without another word, Henry turned and slipped back inside.

Kurt concentrated on his breathing and counted to one hundred. He pressed his finger to the doorbell and waited. Less than a minute went by and the door opened. His heart was beating fast and hard. It was like time slowed while his heart beat quickened. The door opened and then there was a curly haired, hazel eyed, olive skinned boy in front of him.

The two boys stared at each other for a while in complete silence. They took in each other's features as if seeing each other for the first time all over again. For Blaine it was the first time, but for Kurt he was still taken with Blaine's sheer manly beauty.

"H-Hi," Kurt finally said, breaking the silence.

"Hello," Blaine answered.

"I'm K-"

"Kurt. You're Kurt. I recognize you from the pictures."

Kurt nodded and there was silence again.

"Do you want to come in?" The discourse was awkward, but Blaine seemed to be mildly in a state of awe. Not overdone, but it was there.

Kurt's face appeared to perk up. He almost smiled. _I love you_, he said in his head. Simply because _I love _you was Kurt's first reaction, Kurt's heart sank. He wanted to say it out loud. He so desperately wanted to say it. "Sure."

Blaine stepped to the side of the door and let Kurt come in. Once inside, Kurt slipped off his shoes and an older voice called out his name. He turned and saw Blaine's brother, Jared, walking towards him with a smile. "It's really good to see you." He gave Kurt a quick hug.

_At least someone's happy to see me,_ Kurt thought. He'd always liked Jared.

"Really good to see who?" asked a voice off in the distance. Kurt heard heels on their hardwood floor. "Oh Kurt!" Blaine's older sister, Claire, was the epitome of a gorgeous girl. Long, dark, flowing hair. Wavy, not curly like the Anderson men, but just as shiny. She had Blaine's perfect features: full lips, honey eyes, and high cheekbones. She was taller than Blaine, 5'10" easily. Model height. She could probably be a model if she wanted to, but no, she chose the family practice: law. As a matter of fact, Blaine was slated to be the only child to not be a lawyer. Not that he parents pressured him into anything after he came out. They used to, but since Burt Hummel entered Henry's life, Henry became a whole new man.

Claire swept Kurt up in a hug and pecked him on the cheek. Kurt was her favorite shopping partner whenever she came for a visit. Kurt flashed a glance at Blaine. Clearly Claire's reaction to Kurt confused Blaine.

The commotion roused Blaine's parents from another room. "Who was at the door? Kurt!" Henry exclaimed happily.

Kurt knew it was an act, but he played along. "Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, hi." Kurt extended his hand and shook Henry's hand. "Sorry it's taken me so long to come by."

"Oh it's all right, Dear. You're here now. Blaine's been asking about you," Beth commented with a smile. Kurt assumed this was an act too.

"Mom," Blaine said, sounding embarrassed.

"Oh, Honey," Beth soothed. "Kurt, it's actually good you're here. Blaine's been having trouble with his math homework. Would you mind?"

"No. Not at all. I used to help you with you math homework all the time." Kurt directed his comment at Blaine because he began to imagine everyone talking about Blaine like he wasn't there too frequently and it made him feel bad for Blaine.

"Okay," Blaine said. "Um. Let's go in my room." Blaine headed for the stairs without another word to anyone and Kurt followed.

From the stairs Kurt could hear Blaine's radio playing from his bedroom. Once inside, Kurt started laughing. "What?" Blaine asked.

"Katy Perry?" Kurt smiled. "Man, even without a memory, you're still stuck on her."

"I just started listening to her this morning. Is that bad?" Blaine sounded self-conscious. Like Kurt's opinion was the be all end all. "I've been going through my Ipod. I like her."

"No!" Kurt was quick to assuage him. "She's famous and a real icon. Her music is great. It's just that you used to have a slight obsession with her. You sang her music all the time."

"Oh," was all Blaine said.

Kurt left out the part about Teenage Dream being their song as a couple and how Blaine sang it looking right at him the first time they met. He looked around the room. It had been a while since he'd been in it. Nothing was different. All the pictures were still on the wall. Kurt, Blaine's family, Dalton, and the Warblers could be seen smiling and laughing back at Blaine. "So… Math?"

Kurt helped Blaine for a couple hours on not only his math homework, but history as well. Kurt found that knowledge based things only gave Blaine a little trouble remembering, but memories of learning them had disappeared. Some things, like objects, he would ask what they were called or what they were for, but that didn't happen often. Other times, if it was experience based, he had forgotten about it completely. For example. He didn't remember the quadratic equation for algebra, but if you showed him the formula, he'd know how to solve the problem without needing an explanation. He knew the formula, but didn't remember the name of it or ever having learned it. It was all very bizarre, but it made things easier, so Kurt didn't challenge it.

"It's like," Blaine began, "it's not automatically there when I'm searching for an answer, but slowly it creeps up. I don't know why. There's a delay, but most of the time the answer comes. I really like music because it doesn't take long for me to learn. Sometimes I start humming it when I hadn't heard it before. I don't know the words, but sometimes, once in a while, I'll know the tune."

"That's nothing new," Kurt laughed. "You're kind of a musical genius. You played almost every instrument and, man, can you sing."

Blaine smiled a genuine smile. He liked the way Kurt had a way of talking about things didn't make him feel like he was expected to be the same person he once was. Kurt recalled a memory about Blaine, but talked like he was just another person that Blaine might eventually meet. Kurt was comfortable to Blaine. He liked that more than he could say.

"What's it feel like?" Kurt finally had the courage to ask.

"Um. At first I thought it felt like nothing. Emptiness, like nothing was in here." He tapped his head. "Now it just feels like everyone knows something I don't. Like, a secret or something, that I'm not a part of."

"That's awful," Kurt accidentally slipped out.

Blaine shrugged. "It's all I know. I don't know any different. It's normal for me."

"Doesn't mean that it's right. That can't feel too nice."

"Yeah, well…"

The way Blaine shrugged his shoulders a second time and looked away from Kurt told Kurt to let it go. "Have you started reading The Scarlet Letter yet?" They went back to Blaine's homework.

"Your voice is higher than I imagined," Blaine commented after a while of Kurt summarizing a few chapters of The Scarlet Letter. Kurt's eyes brightened and he was about to laugh. He mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. He didn't know what to say in response to that.

"I-I," Blaine stuttered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I probably shouldn't have said anything."

"No. It's fine. That was kind of funny actually. Don't feel bad."

"It's nice actually. Your voice, I mean. It takes on a happier tone. Everyone else seems like they're pretending to be happy around me."

"They _are _happy. They're happy you're _alive_, Blaine."

"I know, but I can't help thinking that I'm letting them down,"

"You're not."

"You haven't been around to see things the way I do." Kurt felt a pang in his chest, but Blaine wasn't trying to make him feel bad. "They keep showing me old videos and pictures. They tell me stories and they get this look on their faces like, no matter what, they're hopeful that some stupid detail about what color frosting I had on my tenth birthday cake would make me remember everything. It always ends the same. I shrug my shoulders and shake my head. Nothing comes. I never remember. I don't even feel like there's something I should be remembering."

There was a pause. Kurt decided right then and there that he'd never treat Blaine the way his parents do. Silently, he knew that Blaine's parents only missed their son and was trying their best, but didn't know what they were doing. Kurt missed Blaine too. Then something came to him. Blaine didn't go anywhere. The curly haired dream was still sitting in front of him and Kurt was tutoring as he usually did. The only difference was that Blaine didn't have the memories. It hurt, but Kurt had vowed to be there for Blaine, no matter what. _It's about Blaine,_ he thought. _Not you. He needs you._ He raised his eyebrows and took in a big breath. "I can see where that'd be frustrating."

Blaine scrunched his eyes and tilted his head. He didn't expect Kurt to say something like that. He sighed and relaxed his face. By now, he'd learned to just go with things, but Kurt's quick empathy and support was refreshing. The corner of the left side of his mouth turned up slightly. "Why is it so easy to talk to you?" Blaine asked.

The question startled Kurt. "I don't know, but if it helps, you were always able to tell me anything."

Blaine smiled fully this time and they stared at each other in silence for a matter of minutes. Kurt wanted to look away. He was afraid that if he continued to look at him he'd give in to his want to tackle Blaine to his bed and kiss the memories back; if that were even possible.

Inside Blaine's head was a different story. He was actually happy. He enjoyed it when Mike and Tina visited, but for the first time since he woke up in the hospital, Blaine actually felt light. He had forgotten that he didn't remember his life and felt like Kurt was just someone he was meeting and becoming friends with for the first time. At the same time, he also felt proud that some part of his old self emerged without having to try for it. He wasn't trying to be his old self, but feeling like he was somebody and not nobody was very special and substantial.

Blaine wanted to tell Kurt how wonderful he felt and how happy Kurt's presence made him. He'd only known the fair skinned boy for a few hours and already he felt like he knew him and he preferred his company to anyone else's. He wanted to say all that, but didn't know if it was appropriate and didn't want to send Kurt running in case he didn't feel comfortable with Blaine saying it.

Kurt broke the silence first and turned his head. "You don't ask a lot of questions about your past," he said.

Blaine licked his lips, an action Kurt didn't fail to notice. "I only ask when I care to know. How come you aren't as eager as everyone else to recall anecdotes and then ask if it rings any bells for me?"

"Truth?"

"Truth."

"Because it hurts too much to think of something happy, knowing that you won't remember."

Blaine bit the corner of his lower lip, obviously deep in thought and the light feeling dimming slightly. "You're a sensitive type of guy, aren't you?"

Kurt laughed breathily, but quietly. "Yes."

"Do you get made fun of for it?"

"Not anymore."

"What changed?"

Kurt paused. "I met you." He stared Blaine down. He wanted to convey a message to Blaine to ask. He wanted him to care enough to ask about them. Of course, Kurt didn't want to talk about their relationship, but he felt like he owed to Blaine, the old Blaine, to not be forgotten. _I can talk about the old Blaine to the new Blaine and not sound preachy, right? If it's a story for entertainment value without expectations?_

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but Kurt would never know what Blaine was going to say because Carol sent him a text asking if he was going to have dinner at the Anderson house or at home.

"Who is it?" Blaine asked.

"My step mom. She wants to know what my dinner plans are."

"You can have dinner here, if you want," Blaine quickly offered.

Kurt grinned as he took in Blaine's excited expression. _I guess some things just stay apart of people and are impossible to leave,_ Kurt thought. "Careful. You're puppy dog eyes are showing."

"What?" Blaine asked, tilting his head to the side again and looking even more like a puppy.

Kurt giggled and brought Blaine over to his full length mirror. "Here. Look in the mirror and ask me again."

"Kurt, do you want to stay- Oh my god, you're right!" Kurt laughed, but Blaine studied his face some more. "Do I do that a lot?" He looked sideways at Kurt.

Kurt licked his teeth behind closed lips then grinned again, hoping the mood was still light hearted. "Yeah. I think it's something you do naturally, but since I brought it to your attention, you do it on purpose whenever you want something."

"And it works?"

"With some people, yeah. Mainly the girls because they think you're so darn cute." He left himself out of the equation because Blaine's sexuality was not a first meeting conversation.

"They do?"

Kurt looked back disbelievingly. "Seriously?" Blaine didn't answer, just looked like he was expecting one. "Ooo-kaaayy. Yes. There isn't a girl in our school that doesn't swoon whenever you smile at them."

Blaine smiled again, looking flattered and proud. "Hmm. Nice." There was silence for another minute. "So will you stay for dinner?"

Kurt thought. He wanted to, but then realized dinner was going to be with the entire family and not just Blaine. "I'd love to, but I think you're parents are mad at me and just for tonight, it'd be awkward."

"Why would they be mad at you? They looked happy to see you."

"Yeah. No. That was an act. They hate me for not answering their calls or coming here sooner."

"Oh. Are you always this honest with me?"

"Yes." Kurt said it as if it was a no brainer.

"So you're leaving soon then?" Blaine sounded almost sad.

Kurt checked the time on his phone. "Actually I should leave now because my family eats around 6:30 and it's almost that time."

"Will you come back tomorrow?" Blaine smiled and his puppy dog eyes came back.

Kurt smiled back. "If you want me to."

"I want you to."

"Then I'll be here." Kurt stood up and gathered his things together in his messenger bag. When he was done he simply turned to Blaine and stared.

Blaine looked almost sad again. There was still a light in his eyes, but the disappointment was there. "I'm really glad you came," he said, still sitting on his bed. He wasn't ready for the comfort of being around Kurt to dissipate.

Kurt was able to read Blaine's expression and he sighed. _I love you_, he thought. "I'm glad I came too."

* * *

><p>AND nothing hurts :)<p>

How'd everyone like their 1st meeting?

Blaine is a little different than the Blaine in DMTHGF. He's a bit more moody. But when he's happy and secretly gushing over Kurt on the inside he's the same old Blaine. I think everyone can understand why he's moody. Staytuned and you'll really see how moody he can get. He's not quite as composed and patient as he used to be. :/ BUT no worries. For now, at least, everything's Klaine and nothing hurts. :)

Please Review!

Tumblr: grace-ryan


	5. Chapter 5

So Sorry! I meant to have this out yesterday, but my internet was down! But to make it up to you, this chapter is more than twice the length of chapter 3's. :)

Over a month has passed in this chapter... how have our favorite boys faired out?

xoxo Grace

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Weeks went by and soon it had been a whole month since the accident. Every visit Kurt had with Blaine went similarly to the first one. They'd stare at each other once the door opened, go up to Blaine's room, do homework, comfort ability would set in and Blaine would make a comment that Kurt knew Blaine hadn't told anyone else, Kurt and Blaine would laugh at something, then it would end with Blaine asking Kurt to return the next day. And he did. Everyday Kurt returned. Three o'clock on school days and eleven o'clock on weekends. He was missing a lot of afternoon Glee practice, but he was thankful for the early morning ones and would spend time with Mr. Sheuster during one of his free periods to make up for the lost time. Mr. Sheuster understood why this was so important to Kurt and didn't bother him about missing the three afternoon practices a week.

Kurt didn't know, but Blaine's favorite part of the day was when Kurt came around. Blaine would wait by the window for a glimpse of Kurt's car and would wait by the door when he finally saw Kurt pull in the driveway.

By the six week mark, all of Blaine's bruises had healed and his broken ribs were no longer broken. With Kurt's help, Blaine was back up to speed with his school work and there was talk of letting him return to McKinley at some point. The only problem was that Blaine had barely stepped foot out of his house. He'd taken walks with his mother around the neighborhood and taken drives to run random errands with her as well, but had never really left the car because he was always nervous in big crowds and was more scared than he let on to run into people he used to know. It made him wary to think of people coming up to him and acting like nothing was wrong when really, Blaine had no clue who that person might be.

It had almost been a month and a half and Kurt was watching a movie in Blaine's room with him. They both sat on Blaine's bed shoulder to shoulder with their backs against the wall. These were comfortable times that required no effort on either boys' part, which Kurt liked. After six weeks, Kurt still had urges to just reach out and touch Blaine. His overwhelming urge to pounce on Blaine and kiss him or rip his clothes off went away because they spent a fair amount of time bickering and nothing turned Kurt off more than someone who was yelling at him. But he still missed his boyfriend. When they sat shoulder to shoulder like this, he kept holding back and reminding himself that he wasn't allowed to reach six inches over and grab Blaine's hand, or tilt his head just so and let it rest on Blaine's shoulder. No. Kurt couldn't do that. The past six weeks were spent tutoring, and dancing in his room to music Blaine had re-discovered. The occasional laugh had been had. Blaine liked hearing about the people at school and was utterly riveted when Kurt mentioned anything about someone being slushied.

It was Sunday and Blaine had convinced Kurt to have a day where they didn't touch his homework and they could spend the day watching movies, talking, and listening to music. Right now they were watching Fracture with Ryan Gosling and Anthony Hopkins. His family had a lot of law based movies and Blaine fancied watching those to see what his father and siblings did for a living, even if it was a dramatization.

Kurt excused himself from Blaine's bedroom for a minute and went downstairs in search of Henry. It was Sunday, so he was counted on to be sitting in the living room watching a game. "Henry?" Kurt asked. Mr. Anderson paused the game and gave Kurt his attention. "Can I take Blaine into town?"

"To do what?"

Kurt could tell Henry wanted to object to the outing, but was giving Kurt the chance to make a case. That was the lawyer in him. "Well, for starters, the boy desperately needs a haircut. He's barely been out of the house. If he's going to go to public school soon he should get used to crowds. Otherwise he might develop a social anxiety. I think it would be good to get him out of the house for a little while. If only for a couple hours." Kurt was pleased with his argument.

"Okay."

"Okay? I can take him out?" Kurt was surprised at how easy it was.

"Sure. You state a good case and you're right on all points. Have him back in a few hours. I don't want it to be too much of a good thing."

"Yes Sir!"

"Blaine!" Henry called out. Blaine came down the stairs and stared in confusion at the two men. "Kurt's going to take you to get a haircut." He took out his wallet and handed Blaine forty dollars.

Blaine took the money, but held it without putting it away. "Really?" He wasn't completely positive how he felt about going out of the house, but honestly, he was just happy to be doing something with Kurt that had nothing to do with homework.

"Yeah. Be back before dinner." Henry sat back down and resumed watching the game.

Kurt looked at Blaine. He was beaming. "Can we go _now_?" Blaine asked.

"Yes. Come on." Kurt was ecstatic at Blaine's excitement. They quickly got their things and piled in Kurt's car.

Kurt took Blaine to Kurt's preferred salon and told his usual stylist, a perky, flamboyant man named Peter, the look he was going for. Blaine appeared to love the treatment of a hair salon, commenting on how he liked the feeling of his head being rubbed. This was something Kurt knew intimately well already, but Blaine wouldn't have remembered that. When his hair was un-gelled, Blaine used to loved it when Kurt ran his fingers through his curls. Before the accident, Blaine's second favorite part of showering with Kurt used to be when Kurt washed and conditioned his hair for him. Kurt smiled and blushed when he thought of Blaine's first favorite thing about showering with Kurt. He buried his face in a magazine to hide his blush, even though no one was in the salon besides the other stylists and him and Blaine. Kurt was happy that they came at a time when no one else was there because wherever he planned to take Blaine next was bound to have people milling around.

"Do you think you can do something about the forest between his eyes too, Peter?" Kurt asked with a sarcastic voice.

"Pluck or wax?" Peter called out from the wash and condition station.

Kurt had to think. He thought Blaine shaved between his eyebrows, but wasn't sure. He supposed this was the one thing he didn't know about Blaine. "Wax, please," he finally said. "Just the middle. Don't touch the rest."

"You want the triangles to stay." It was a statement instead of a question.

"Yup. I like my men geometric," Kurt laughed. He then immediately wished he hadn't said it. He was beginning to become too comfortable with Blaine and was forgetting that this Blaine was not the Blaine he once knew and could flirt with anytime. He hadn't forgotten the promise he made to Henry about not telling Blaine he was gay or that they were once in a relationship.

"Arg!" Blaine yelled when the wax was ripped off his skin. "People do this?"

"Some women get half their body waxed monthly, Baby," Peter explained playfully. "Be happy this was only one tiny little piece."

Kurt was heard laughing in the waiting room as he picked out products. In a half hour, Blaine was all smiles and looked damn good with barely any styling to his coif. Kurt always liked Blaine better without all that gel.

"How do you feel?" Kurt asked on their way to the car.

"Really good." He smiled. "I like being pampered like that."

"You'd love going to a spa then."

He was really liking the freedom to go anywhere with Kurt. He was finding that being outside of the house wasn't as bad as he thought. Peter was nice and he didn't treat Blaine any different. "Did I know Peter before today?"

"Yes."

"How come he didn't act like he knew me?"

"He's my stylist, Blaine, not a friend."

"But still. I must have seen him a few times, right?"

"Once a month. You always came with me to the salon."

"Maybe people are different than I thought?"

Kurt was about to turn the ignition to the car, but put his hand back into his lap and turned to Blaine instead. "How so?"

"If I tell you, do you promise not to judge me?" Kurt looked at him incredulously and Blaine remembered who he was talking to. "Okay, I feel conflicted because I don't want people to treat me differently just because I can't remember who they are, but I also don't want people to act like they know me."

"You want people to treat you like they're meeting you for the first time because you're meeting _them _for the first time?"

"Yes, but I know that's stupid because not everyone knows about my accident and I can't think selfishly. People are going to be who they are with no excuses."

"Blaine, can I be honest?" Blaine nodded, hoping for some wise advice. "Why does people knowing you have to be a bad thing? No one's disappointed when you can't remember them. That's kind of a given. And people approaching you only means that they care… Well, that or they're just extremely nosy."

"It just makes me uncomfortable because it feels like I'm not on the same even playing field." Blaine was talking animatedly with his hands.

"Well, oh well." Blaine looked at Kurt confusedly. He squinted and tilted his head. Kurt got the hint. His tone changed to one that was bold and slightly annoyed. "Blaine, you can't change what happened and you can't control people's reactions. I know you want to be seen as normal and like everyone else, but the truth is that you're a person who's memory has been wiped clean. That's not normal. Everyone loves you and everyone cares about you. You have to take what you have and work with it. The more you worry about things and try to control them to make whoever's square peg fit into your round one, the harder it's going to be for you. It's already hard enough, don't make it harder for yourself."

Blaine stayed silent and Kurt gave him a minute to process.

"Are you okay? I didn't totally spoil our outing did I?"

"No," Blaine said after a few moments. He was chewing on his lip and thinking. A small spark appeared in his eyes. "You're right. I should just go with the flow of things. I'm alive and I have people around me who are really supportive and helpful. I should be happier. I shouldn't worry about things that are out of my control."

"So you're not mad at me for setting you straight?"

"No. In fact, I'm glad. By now, I know I can trust you. Honestly, I don't know where I'd be without you. If there's one person's advice I should take, it's yours."

Kurt turned back to his steering wheel and started the car. He was really happy that Blaine had a ten second rebound between emotions. "You're resilience astounds me."

Blaine smiled. "We're not going straight home, are we?"

"No. I hadn't really decided yet, but anything worth doing is in further into town. Kurt thought his friend resembled a small child with his excitement to be out of the house and it made him smile. "Um. Bookstore? I could use some new magazines."

"Sure. Anything." Kurt smiled and began driving. "Peter's… nice…" Blaine commented soon after.

Kurt shifted his eyes for a second at Blaine. "He is nice. I've been going to him for a couple years now."

"He's- um." Blaine was searching for the right words. "Kind of girly. He has this sort of lilt to his voice… and he called me Baby; like a pet name." He paused. "Not that it's bad. He's really nice, but I haven't seen someone like that before, but then again, most people I see are on TV."

Kurt thought about how to gage the question properly because if Kurt could describe Peter properly, he would hate to admit it, but Peter was stereotypically gay. In fact, Peter was probably beyond the stereotype; like, flaming, boy band, cabaret gay ; or disco dancing, Oscar Wilde reading, Barbara Streisand ticket holding, friend of Dorothy gay. "Well, people on TV tend to all kind of be the same archetypes and fall into the same categories. The more you get out, the more you'll see real people and how different they are."

"What made you choose him as your stylist?"

Kurt was glad the conversation was switching and not falling into one about Peter's flamboyancy. "I found that men tend to cut other men's hair better than women. At least in my experience they do. I'm sure some women are excellent at it, but I haven't met them. Plus he has a fantastic fashion sense. We have that in common."

"You both wear really tight pants."

Kurt laughed out loud. "It's a style choice. If you've got the figure and legs for it, you can pull it off. Guys like Peter and I, we pull it off flawlessly."

Blaine began a slew of questions about pants and the difference between designs and levels of tightness. Kurt began to realize how much he missed fashion conversations with the old Blaine.

There was something different about his friendship with Blaine. There was a comfort ability there, with no sexual tension. Before the accident, the first time Kurt met Blaine, he was instantly attracted. The rest of the time they spent together until they started dating was pretending he wasn't staring or hiding his secret fantasies. But this… with Blaine now. This was just fun.

It was almost like it would have been had they been strictly friends from the beginning. That thought suddenly made Kurt beyond depressed because had they been strictly friends, they never would have been on the double date during the night of the accident. Had they never gotten together, Blaine would be the same old Blaine. Kurt felt somehow responsible.

"What's the matter?" Blaine asked, reading Kurt's expression when things got quiet.

"Nothing," Kurt answered.

"Kurt…" He drew out the word, warning Kurt that he knew there was more.

"What? It's nothing really."

Blaine took a breath and shook his head. His mood swung again and now he seemed disappointed. "Do you think we can do the bookstore later? Can we go do something where we can sit and talk instead?"

"Coffee?"

"Sure." The excitement in his voice was gone now.

Kurt could tell something was bothering Blaine, but he wasn't sure it if was because he wasn't forthcoming with information or something else. As it were, the Lima Bean was nearby, so he pulled over and they both got out.

"What did I order before?" Blaine asked quickly and blandly. He was staring at the menu board above the registers, but had no idea what any of it meant. He knew what coffee was, but words like latte and grande escaped him completely. He figured Kurt would know what Blaine liked and if he didn't, he could suggest something that wasn't gross.

"Medium drip." The words were out faster than he could process them. Coffee with Blaine used to be a main staple. He knew everything about his order. "I got this," he said when they got to the counter, taking out his wallet. "Medium drip and a Non-fat Mocha. Oh! And a biscotti please," he said to the barista.

"What's a biscotti?"

"It's like a cookie for your coffee. You dip it in your coffee and eat it."

"Can I have one?"

"The one I ordered is yours." Kurt felt guilty for ordering it without consulting Blaine first and even more guilty for saying it like Blaine should have known the biscotti was his. He didn't want to tell him what he liked. For all he knew, Blaine had different tastes now. He was beginning to hate himself for feeling too comfortable with Blaine and forgetting _his_ Blaine was gone.

"Oh." The tension between them from the car was still there. It was thick.

They took a seat with their coffee and Blaine scrunched his face when he took a sip. "Ugh. Eww. I liked this?" Kurt, with his head leaning in his hand and his elbow on the table, plucked two Raw Sugar packets from the sugar caddy and put them in front of Blaine. "Oh." He said it like he felt stupid for not thinking of sugar. Blaine mixed in the sugar and took another sip. "Much better. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Both of their voices were in bland tones.

"Are you bored?" Blaine asked abruptly.

"No. Why?"

"Because you stopped talking to me except for when I ask you a question. Also, you're drifting your eyes shut like being around me is putting you to sleep."

Kurt felt awful. He sat up and crossed his legs to change the way Blaine read his body language. "I'm sorry. I'm not bored. I had a thought in the car and it bothered me. It's not you."

"Well, I'm the one paying for it. I'm not asking you to pretend to be happy for my sake, but I _am _asking you to talk to me and be honest."

Kurt tried not to roll his eyes. "What do you want to talk about?"

Blaine looked away, feeling agitated at Kurt's avoidance. _He knows damn well what I wanted to talk about,_ Blaine thought. He picked up the biscotti and instead of putting it in his coffee or eating it, he crumbled the end of it between two fingers. "Do you know how confusing it is being me? How lonely it is?" Blaine snapped. He looked back and locked his eyes with Kurt's, willing him not to look away. "Nothing in my life is comfortable to me. Not my family, not my house, not even my own reflection, but you…" he trailed off and started again. "You were the first thing I saw when I woke up and you disappeared. You didn't come back for weeks! There are pictures of you everywhere. You're the only one who isn't trying to make me the person I used to me. My parents put a plate of food in front of me and tell me it's my favorite, when I don't remember ever eating it. But you, you ask what I want and wait for me to ask about my old self. You take me exactly as I am. The only thing that's familiar is you. I am only comfortable with myself when you're around and that's very frustrating because I still don't know much about you because you hardly talk about yourself. Now, you're shutting me out. I can see something's wrong, but you won't let me in. Kurt," he paused, calming his voice down. He looked tired and he was. Blaine was tired of feeling uncomfortable. He was tired of feeling like a burden. "I'm already lonely. Please don't make me _be_ alone."

Kurt was taken aback. He didn't know what to say. He felt tears brimming his eyes. Blaine was right. Kurt barely spoke about himself or mentioned memories of Blaine and Kurt. They spent most of their time in the present and occasionally mentioning something about Blaine's past when he asked. Never Kurt, always Blaine.

Blaine. Blaine. Blaine. That's all Kurt saw. Blaine smiling. Blaine hitting his head and falling unconscious twice. Blaine opening the door to his house and the countless times they stared at each other in silence. There was nothing else to think about. Not for Kurt. Just Blaine. Old Blaine and New Blaine. "I was there, Blaine. I was there when we pulled your body from the water. You weren't breathing. I was so scared and if Mike wasn't _there_, you wouldn't be _here_. When you say that you have an old self, you're right. There are similarities, but you're not the same. When I start to think that you and I are starting to act like we used to, I feel responsible that you have no memory. You were an amazing person and I took that from you." He brought his coffee up to his lips to help prevent himself from crying. "I'm so sorry. I know about 98% of the time I seem fine, but I don't want to hurt you when I tell you that what I'm thinking is much different than how I'm acting. I deserve to be punished. I deserve for you to hate me because it's my fault. It's all my fault. Any you…" He licked his lips, his eyes definitely now welled up with tears. "…you prefer me over anyone else. That makes it all the more worse." Kurt looked away momentarily and wiped his eyes before grabbing his coffee.

Blaine took a deep breath. "Kurt…" Blaine's tone had changed. It was lighter, but just as serious. "I know what happened that night. You weren't driving. You weren't the rain on the road. You weren't the deer I hit. You weren't what knocked me out. You have nothing to feel sorry for. It happened, okay? We can't turn back the clock and change it. You told me not even an hour ago to let go of the things I can't control. So, please, stop beating yourself up for something _you _can't control. Tina and Mike have been great, but, frankly, I need you. I can't be alone anymore and I can't do this without you. I want to find some sort of normal, whatever that is." There was a silence between them and they stared at one another without moving. "Can you help me?" Blaine asked.

"Yes. Whatever you need." He meant it. He always meant it. No matter what, no matter how their friendship/relationship changed, he would be there for Blaine. Then, just like that, Kurt felt what he used to feel. He was back where he started, loving Blaine and not being able to do anything about it. He felt he was forever going to have his love go unrequited.

"Was I really an amazing person?" Blaine inquired, looking like he was deep in thought.

"Yes. You were kind and really smart. You were the most selfless person I ever met."

"Were we _best _friends?" Blaine asked.

"_The _best," Kurt answered.

"And we met when you transferred to Dalton?"

"Before then actually. You were a big reason why I transferred. I was troubled and you showed me that things could be better. I could be happy."

"Why did you transfer back to McKinley?"

"Um… I missed my friends and I guess I was tired of feeling like I was running away from my problems. You helped me gain confidence and at the time I was ready to face them and over come my demons."

"So… now you get to return the favor?"

Kurt thought. "Yeah. I guess I do."

"You know, this is the most you've spoken about yourself since you started coming around. You should talk about yourself more. I like it."

_I know that look_, Kurt thought., Blaine pursed his lips, but had a smiled on his face. His eyes sparkled and smiled when his mouth did. Whether he knew it or not, Blaine was flirting. "I'll be right back. Bathroom." He got up, hoping his face wasn't giving his fluttering, nervous heart away.

A minute or two went by. "Blaine?"

Blaine's body jolted into a nervous state, but he turned. A tall muscular boy with outgrown, chopped hair was standing before him. "Can I help you?" Blaine asked.

"Wow. So, it's true." The boy took a seat without being asked. "I'm James. We used to go to Dalton together. We were in the Warblers together too."

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><p>I'm guessing people remember this guy...<p>

Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging too long on this cliff. I'll definetly have a new chapter up tomorrow without fail :P

If you were wondering what Blaine's siblings look like from their mention in the previous chapter, I posted pictures of their general look on my tumblr. I won't post one of James because I posted one for DMTHGF.

Please review!

Follow me on tumblr: grace-ryan


	6. Chapter 6

The outing continues...

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

"Oh!" Blaine thought back to the Warbler photos and vaguely remembered seeing this James person. "Hi. Sorry I don't remember you." His comment was nonchalant, like there was nothing he could do about it. His immediate reaction was to feel guilty, but he was taking Kurt's advice and not trying to control the situation. He didn't have his memories and people knew it… oh well.

"It's fine." The boy smiled a crooked grin with perfect teeth. "So, how are you?"

"Um. Okay. All healed up, except for the memory part." He was trying to have what he thought would be a normal conversation, but he was uncomfortable talking to a stranger as if he knew him. In truth, he hated this. Meeting Kurt, Mike, and Tina was much better because he was expecting it. Well, Kurt was a little bit of a surprise, but not by much because he had been told about him, knew what his face looked like from photos, and was hoping to meet him. James was someone he vaguely recognized from one or two photos and was never told anything about him. He seemed nice enough from the past two minutes and his cheery smile, but Blaine still didn't like the situation.

"I see. Well, maybe that isn't such a bad thing." James avoided eye contact when he said that. It almost looked like he was fidgety.

Blaine squinted his eyes in curiosity. "Why?"

"James!" Kurt commanded the taller boy's attention.

James turned and saw Kurt walking toward him and his smiled dropped. "I really should have known you'd be here with Blaine."

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked sternly.

"Re-introducing myself to Blaine. Or do you have a monopoly on his time?" Blaine didn't like the way James was talking to Kurt. He was nice a second ago, but since hearing Kurt's voice, he turned into a jerk. He also didn't understand why Kurt didn't want James talking to Blaine. James' presence really seemed to make Kurt angry. It kind of bothered Blaine because earlier Kurt had told Blaine to stop trying to control everything when it appeared that Kurt was controlling who Blaine gets to see and talk to.

Kurt overlooked the second part of James' comment. "Well that was nice of you. Now you can excuse yourself to Blaine and not come back because for the past five months, you've been fantastic at that."

James glared. "You know, you're not in charge of who he gets to be strangers with."

"There's a reason his parents haven't invited certain people over to see him. Why don't you think about that for once instead of yourself? So, why don't you take your Collin Farrell look-a-like self and leave?" Kurt gestured to the Lima Bean exit.

Blaine looked on, stunned at Kurt, the short one in the argument, having complete control over the situation, despite James looking like he could pummel Kurt.

James glowered at Kurt, then turned to Blaine. "It was really nice seeing you again. I am really glad to see you're all right."

"Thank you." Blaine said before James stormed off and out of the Lime Bean. "Why did you do that?" Blaine asked Kurt. "Jump on him without giving him a chance?"

"I don't know what he was doing, but he's not a friend of yours."

"That really isn't a decision for you to make." Blaine was mad partially because he felt James had a piece of information Blaine might have found useful about his past.

"It wasn't a _decision _I was making, it's a fact and I was helping. He's not someone you want to associate with."

"Why?"

Kurt thought, biting the inside of his cheek a little too hard by accident. "Blaine, I want to tell you anything you want to know, but some things are better left forgotten. One thing in particular and it involves that jerk, James."

"That doesn't make me _not _want to know."

"It should. It took forever to get over what he did to us and I'd rather not rehash it. So, just please, I'm begging you. Forget about it."

"Us?"

"You," Kurt corrected. "He did something to you that changed you and me. It was bad. It took a really long time for you and me to come back from that."

"Still not making me not want to know."

"Trust me. You don't want to know this."

"What could he possibly do that could put a wedge between friends?"

Kurt couldn't tell him. He couldn't tell Blaine that James and Blaine got drugged at a party and had sex. He couldn't tell him that Blaine cheated on Kurt that night. He couldn't tell him that James used that knowledge against Blaine to break them up. He couldn't. He just couldn't. Telling Blaine would be telling him that Blaine was not only gay, but not a virgin and once was in a relationship with Kurt, and telling him one of the darkest periods of his life. It would be telling him everything Kurt swore he wouldn't.

"Let's just say that you couldn't help yourself in a particular situation and he used it against you to get to me. That's _all_ I will tell you. You really don't want or need to know the details."

"Why would anyone do that?" Blaine sounded skeptical and almost disbelieving.

"Because he's not a nice person. Like I said, he's not someone you liked to associate with." Kurt took the last sip of his coffee and let the information set in. When he looked back over to Blaine, Blaine looked like he was holding inside a lot of anger. "Look, you want me to treat you like we just met a month ago, or do you want me to help you get back to who you used to be by trying to jog your memory like everyone else?"

"If you and I met a month ago then you wouldn't have known anything about a past history with James."

"You don't want him in your life!"

"Don't tell me what I want!" Neither one of them could tell because they were too focused on each other, but there were too many people in the Lima Bean either blatantly staring at them having a verbal fight with slightly raised voices, or continuously glancing and pretending like they weren't looking.

"I'm trying to help you! He's trash. He can't have you just because you can't remember what he did to you. You forgetting what happened doesn't give him a free pass to have a second chance."

"I don't belong to you! You can't tell me who I can and can't talk to. I'm no one's property!"

That snapped Kurt out of whatever stupor he was in. _I don't belong to you._ Blaine was more right than he knew. Kurt felt his heart sink at the reminder that Blaine wasn't someone he could call _his_ anymore. He was only trying to help him, but Blaine was right. Kurt had no right to tell Blaine what to do or tell him what was best. James was a bad person for what he did, but he couldn't protect Blaine from everything and everyone. He'd have to make decisions about people on his own. Even if they were people like James who were manipulators. "Can we please change the subject?" He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Actually, we have to because I have to be getting you home for dinner." Kurt had never been happier to rush Blaine back home since the day they met.

They tossed out their cups and left in silence. The car ride was silent and Blaine didn't wait for Kurt to turn the engine off when he hopped out of the passenger side of the car once they parked in his driveway. When they got back to the Anderson residence, Kurt walked in with Blaine, who still wasn't one hundred percent okay with the result of their argument earlier. If anything, Blaine had time to stew and his cheekbones were pink from holding in fumes.

"Henry, can I talk to you? My dad and I were having a debate yesterday and I was wondering what the legal side of the matter would be." Kurt gave Mr. Anderson a look that told him he didn't want to discuss legal matters.

"Oh! Well, shoot." He smiled. "I'm going to go get a drink in the kitchen. Why don't you come? Nice hair cut, son. Looks good."

Blaine smiled, but Kurt knew it was forced. He was suspicious. Kurt felt bad for being the reason his happiness about his hair cut no longer mattered. "This shouldn't take long," he said, letting Blaine know he didn't expect him to follow.

Blaine was suspicious, so when Kurt and his dad disappeared, he followed and listened outside of the door.

"What happened?" Henry asked.

"We went for coffee and he met James."

Kurt could see the cogs turning in Henry's head. "James? You mean the boy he-"

"Yeah… _him._" Kurt spat the word out like thought of his name put a disgusting taste in his mouth.

"What happened?" Mr. Anderson didn't seem pleased with this news. Blaine could tell his father didn't approve of James either.

_Maybe Kurt was right,_ Blaine thought. He immediately felt guilty, but was still suspicious of the secrecy.

"I sent him away and Blaine started asking questions. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't lie to him."

"But you didn't tell him, did you? Please tell me you didn't because James is someone Blaine does not need to remember. That boy is a liar and a manipulator."

"Hey, I'm not the one you need to convince. I hate him more than you do."

"So what did you tell him?"

"I told him that some things are better left forgotten and James is not a friend of his."

"Anything else? That couldn't have been enough for Blaine."

"It wasn't. I told him that whatever happened wasn't Blaine's fault and James used it against him to get to me. Which isn't a lie, but obviously it's leaving out a lot of key details."

"God, I hate that kid. And that goddamn freshman who-"

"Don't say it out loud. Blaine can't remember it, so we'll forget it too."

"Kurt, I can't exactly forget someone who drugged my son."

Blaine's eyes went wide from behind the door. _James drugged me? _he thought. He slowly backed away from the door and went up to his room. Now he was even madder than before. All those feelings he had that there was a secret that he wasn't allow in on, he was right; and Kurt was in on it. He felt betrayed and even more confused on how he's supposed to feel. Kurt lied to him, so he should be betrayed, but he also felt awful now for yelling at him for half of the afternoon because now he really knew exactly why Kurt was being so protective. _What was it about Kurt that makes me feel so many different emotions? I'm happy one second, then annoyed, or frustrated, or angry the next. Then ten seconds later I'm guilty for feeling anything other than happy to be in his presence. What's wrong with me?_ Blaine thought.

Blaine had misunderstood and was wrong about the details. It wasn't James who drugged Blaine, but another boy who gave brownies laced with drugs to both Blaine and James, along with several other Dalton boys. If Kurt knew what Blaine thought, he probably wouldn't correct Blaine on the mere fact that believing James only drugged Blaine, was better than the real truth; that the drugged out nature of both James and Blaine resulted in them having sex in a blacked out stupor.

He huffed when he shut his bedroom door. He wanted to punch the wall or kick the door, but didn't. Instead, he just did the next few things dramatically and with force. To make it look like he was doing something once he got back to his room, Blaine grabbed his History text book and a pen with his notebook, but his pen wasn't working. He chucked it in the trash and went into his bedside table to get another, knowing he had a stash in there. He accidentally pushed his hand in too hard and the bottom of the drawer moved. "Great. Now the drawer is broken." He put his hand underneath the drawer to see if he could pop it back into place, but he found that the bottom of the drawer wasn't the underside board. He furrowed his brows in confusion and took everything out of the drawer. Blaine fumbled with the board in the drawer and finally pried it up. "It's a false bottom?" Blaine said to himself.

In the drawer were photos, condoms, a bottle of lubrication oil, a few envelopes, a couple odds and ends, and what looked like a journal. He didn't have time to really look at any of the items because he heard footsteps on the stairs. He quickly shoved the drawer board back into place and dropped everything back in the drawer.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Blaine?" Kurt asked.

"Come in." Blaine sat down on his bed.

Kurt went in the room and shut the door behind him. "I have to go, but I wanted to say I was sorry."

Blaine's chest felt instantly lighter and could feel the heat leaving his face. _No! Don't do that!_ Blaine screamed at himself. _Don't forgive him that easy. Him walking into your room doesn't mean he gets to see you melt… Melt?_ Blaine realized he was talking too long to add something to the conversation. "For what?" Blaine asked, pretending the last fifteen minutes didn't happen.

"For turning what started out as a great thing into something bad. You have a right to your past, but I'm so scared of people taking advantage of you and I want you to know all the good things about what used to be. I never want you to be plagued by the bad." Kurt looked exhausted and vulnerable. He hated this feeling. He wanted to rewind the clock to when he just got to Blaine's house that morning. He wouldn't have taken Blaine out of the house. Or if he did, he wouldn't have taken him to either the salon or the Lima Bean. He wanted to not be fighting with Blaine. He wanted everything to be as it were this morning. Kurt had gotten used to not wishing to turn the clock back to before the accident. He had come to terms that this was his reality, but he had plenty of mistakes that he wished he could turn back time just a few hours.

"Can I ask one question before you go?"

"Sure. Anything." Kurt thought Blaine's question was out of place. He was ready to be chastised again, but it didn't come. Instead Blaine acted like he had an agenda and once it was completed, Kurt could be dismissed.

"Did I keep a journal?"

Odd as the question was, Kurt did promise earlier that he would help Blaine no matter what. So he thought. Really thought.

Blaine studied Kurt's face for any indication that he might be lying. He found none.

"I don't know. If you did I had no knowledge of it." Kurt was telling the truth. He honestly had no idea if Blaine kept a journal or not.

"Oh. That's too bad because it might have been helpful."

"I'm sure it would be. I can check your locker at school if you want."

"Could you? Blaine knew Kurt wouldn't find anything, but thought to play along anyway.

"Okay, well, I have to go." Kurt paused, sucking in on his bottom lip. This was the time when Blaine usually would ask Kurt to come back the next day, but Blaine wasn't talking.

Blaine stood up and started putting his textbooks away while Kurt remained in place.

"Um… I can sense that you're still mad at me and I don't blame you. Just know that I'm sorry and I'll understand if you don't want to see me tomorrow, or any other day." Kurt looked down at the floor.

Before he or Blaine knew it, Blaine had his arms around Kurt. Blaine didn't know what came over himself. One minute he was mad at Kurt, but the next he was gutted at the thought of not seeing Kurt not just ever, but also not the immediate next day. It was like he instantly forgave him for withholding information from him. He wasn't sure if hugging Kurt was proper etiquette. _Did men hug other men? Did Kurt mind?_ Kurt's response of exhaling and wrapping his arms around Blaine told him it was okay. "Please come back tomorrow?" Blaine requested.

Kurt's heart jumped at the feel of Blaine touching him. He hadn't felt him or been so close he could smell him since the hospital. His breath hitched and he exhaled to hide it. He wrapped his arms around Blaine and inhaled his scent. He missed him so badly. Up until now he'd been able to subside his feelings for the greater good of Blaine, but here in Blaine's arms, he missed his boyfriend. He missed his lover and soul mate deeply. "If you want me to," he answered.

"I want you to."

Kurt exhaled and rested his cheek on Blaine's hair. "Then I'll be here."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault." He resisted the urge to hold him tighter.

"Then thank you for trying to give me a day where I could forget that I can't remember."

"I'm sorry it didn't turn out that way."

"Don't be." Blaine let go of Kurt.

It was too soon for Kurt, but he let the olive skinned boy go too. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Three o'clock?"

"On the dot."

Blaine managed a small smile. "Will you bring me something that reminds you of my old self tomorrow?"

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"I'm curious. Please?"

"Sure thing." Kurt managed a smile back. "See you tomorrow," he said again.

"See you tomorrow."

Kurt went downstairs and found Henry again. "Can I bring Blaine to my house tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Blaine wants to see something that reminds me of his old self. I don't know. Maybe being in a different venue will help. He wants to get out of the house. Please? My parents will be there and my brother too. You know, take baby steps with meeting old people? Obviously the coffee shop backfired, but I still think we should try."

Henry sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I don't know Kurt."

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I-" Kurt stopped and felt the sting of his eyes beginning to water. "You know what? What I'm saying… it's true, but it's bullshit." Henry's eyes went wide at Kurt's choice to use expletives. "It's all bullshit. The truth is that I'm being selfish and using what Blaine wants to aid my pain. I miss him." A tear escaped his eyes. "God, I miss him so much. I see him everyday and I'm not allowed to hug him or tell him how I feel or God even tell him everything will be all right because I don't know if it will."

Henry wanted to comfort Kurt, but didn't know how. He missed his son too and had a lot of the same issues running inside himself. The only difference was that he wasn't missing a lover. "I miss him too, Kurt. All we can do is be happy that some form of him is still here and not six feet under." He could feel a lump rising in his throat.

"I am! I'm happy that he's alive and the only thing he has to deal with is his memory, but being around him, to look at him, it hurts. I love him so much. Even this version of Blaine. He's different, but the same, and I love them both equally. I remember all the things that were working against us when we finally realized we could-"

"Kurt, breath."

Kurt took a deep breath. "I thought we were past all of it. When will it stop being so hard? Why can't we just be happy? It's like the universe is doing everything in it's power to keep us apart when all we wanted was just to be together. He used to love me. I knew that. I could see it. And now I'm slowly making him hate me. I can feel it."

"He doesn't hate you. Trust me. So, you had a bad day. Kurt, do you know what he does everyday?"

Kurt sniffled and wiped his eyes that were still streaming tears down his cheeks. "What?"

"He watches you drive past our house every morning on your way to school and then waits again at the window for when you pull into the driveway after school. He doesn't know that I know this, but he's already at the door when you ring the doorbell. You ring it once and he counts to thirty before opening it, like he doesn't want you to think that he was pining for you." Henry carded a hand through his thinning curls and almost smiled. "Kurt, my son comes alive when he sees you. He is more like his old self whenever you pop up. I know you see differences, but all I see is Blaine slowly falling in love with you all over again."

"Thank you, but I won't get my hopes up."

"Wait. Stop for a second. Don't do that to yourself. He loves you. He just doesn't know it yet. When he's ready, I'm sure you'll know."

Kurt wanted to object, but Henry told him to stop, so he stayed silent.

"I'm sorry I asked you to hide so much from him, Kurt. I feel like I shouldn't have done that, but I really felt that was what was best for him."

"And it was, but I'm just being selfish. I don't want to lie to him, but I can't tell him who he is or what he wants. Only he can do that."

"Honestly, Kurt. I think you've been better with him than any of us have been. Beth and I thought that treating him the same way and trying to give him something normal was good for him, but what we were actually doing was forcing him to be the same person, when he may not be."

Kurt looked down at the floor, his tears now gone, but his chest feeling heavy.

"You can take him to your house after school if you want. You were right. I can't force him or control him anymore."

"I'll be here at three."

"Tell your father I said hi."

"Thank you, Mr. Anderson."

Henry wasn't a hugging man, but at that moment his wrapped his arms around the slender boy. He wasn't sure when he realized it, but Kurt had become part of the family and that meant Kurt was like a son to him. He didn't want to see Kurt in pain any more than he wanted to see Blaine or Jared in pain.

* * *

><p>I told a couple of you, but now I think it's safe to say that James was never meant to be in this story for very long. I only brought him back as a tool to use. I wanted Kurt to finally slip up when it came to being protective and I wanted to convey how conflicted Blaine is in his head. He feels so many different emotions and doesn't know which one is the appropriate one. Also, I briefly mentioned in another chapter that Kurt and Blaine bicker a lot. This was another way to convey their bickering coming to an explosion.<p>

Please review!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	7. Chapter 7

What's inside the drawer?

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Kurt had left and Blaine watched him drive away from his bedroom window. He was still looking outside when his father came knocking on his door. "Blaine?" he asked.

"Come in," Blaine called out, still transfixed with the picture outside his window.

Henry entered and took a seat on Blaine's bed. "Son, we need to have a talk."

Blaine turned and leaned against the window sill, curious about what his father might have to say. "What's up?"

"I wanted to apologize to you. I don't know how you feel, but I feel that your mother and I have been keeping you too sheltered in this house. You're almost a man and we've been treating you like a child." Blaine blinked, silently agreeing with his father's words. "I know things are hard right now. None of us really know what we're doing. I hate admitting that because as a parent, we're supposed to be able to guide our children and give them the confidence to come to us with questions. Parents are supposed to know the answers." Henry looked down at his hands in his lap for a second, trying to find words. "But, Blaine. I don't know everything and I don't know how to help you find yourself again. I don't know how to stop trying to protect you and just let you grow and find yourself on your own. It's just… you got wiped clean and you have no concept of what people are like in the real world and I don't want you to get taken advantage of because you might be too trusting."

This was something Blaine felt his father might be saying because he had the conversation with Kurt from earlier on his mind. He had already been taken advantage of before hadn't he? Before the accident and before he lost his memory. He knew this now. Blaine felt a bit more respect for his father for coming forth and expressing himself the way he was. He gulped before joining in on the conversation. "I know, Dad." He licked his lips. "I know you're worried. I am too, but for different reasons. I'm worried that people I used to know won't accept me the way I am now. I'm worried that I'll be alienated because I don't remember anyone or anything."

"You mean, you want people to treat you the way Kurt has treated you." It was a statement, not a question. He already knew the answer.

"Yes. Kurt has been wonderful." Blaine's face appeared to light up when he was talking about Kurt. "I can't explain it, but when he's around, I feel like I'm working toward something in the future instead of searching for something in the past. Without even trying, he makes me feel comfortable."

"More than Mike and Tina?"

"Yes. Mike and Tina are great and I owe them my life, as much as I do to Kurt, but from the second I saw Kurt… I don't know… it was like I knew him, _really _knew him. I still don't remember anything, but when I think about him or see him, there's a familiarity, or like a fog has been lifted. I don't need to remember when I'm around him. I can just be in the present. Does that make sense?"

Henry nodded. "It does." There was something about watching Blaine fall in love with Kurt all over again that made him start to understand what Blaine was trying to explain to him when he first told him about Kurt last year. But there was something wholey romantic about Blaine falling in love this time. It meant that his initial love for Kurt was strong enough to make Kurt not only Blaine's first love, but also his second. "You really care about Kurt, don't you?"

"Don't you?" Blaine posed back at his father. "You've given him special privileges that no one else has gotten and everyone in this family appears to be extremely close to him."

"You're right. He might as well be another one of my children. He's practically been a part of this family for a while now."

Blaine smiled. He wasn't sure why, but he was pleased to hear this. "Am I going to be able to go back to school? I know we've been talking about it, but it's something I really want. What you said before- is that you saying that you'll let me make my own decisions now?"

Henry really thought on Blaine's question. "I want your mother and I to guide you now, instead of be the final decision; if that's okay with you. Also, I think it is time that we let you grow on your own. If going back to school is really what you want, your mother and I will help ease you back in. We'll start with visits to school and then work up to a class at a time. Does that sound fair?"

Blaine smiled and almost jumped up and down because he was so giddy. Oddly enough to himself, his first thought was of Kurt. He liked the thought of being able to see more of Kurt than just the few hours a day he comes to visit. "Can I go visit tomorrow?" He beamed.

Henry sighed. "I'll talk to your mother, but maybe we can schedule a small visit with the principal tomorrow afternoon."

Now Blaine was really excited. "Oh my God! Dad! Thank you so much!" He lunged at his father and hugged him tightly around the neck. Henry promptly stood up to hug his son properly.

Later that night, when Blaine was confident that everyone had gone to sleep he unloaded his bedside drawer and popped the false bottom off as well. He took everything out of the drawer and examined it all. He decided to leave the photographs and journal for last. He opened the envelopes first. The contents inside confused him. In one envelope, it held receipts to various things, restaurants and stores mostly. Another envelope contained movie tickets. There were tons of those. He looked over them all, but only some of them rang a bell to him. He compared them all to the vast amount of DVDs he had. He found that he had many with the matching titles on the ticket stubs. He pulled each one that matched and made a pile of them for future viewing. Next he picked up the condoms. This was one of those things that he remembered what it was, but didn't know what it was for. He read the label and stopped at the word 'intercourse.' He let the word roll around in his head and slowly, the meaning came to him. _Sex_. Blaine pieced together in his head that he had the condoms because he had been having sex or had hoped to be having sex. Based on the fact that the box of condoms was open and he did not have as many condoms in the box as the amount on the box read, he deduced that he wasn't a virgin and had sex with at least one person more than once. He recounted. The box read that there were thirty six in total. There were twenty-one condoms left in the box. _I take that back,_ he thought._ Never mind, more than once. Fifteen? I was busy._ He decided to check the journal later to see if there was a clue as to who he was having sex with.

_Kurt never mentioned me being with anyone,_ he thought. His next thought was an immediate excuse for his first one. _But then again, relationships haven't come up yet. I'll have to ask him._ He put the condoms down and picked up the bottle of lubrication. This was something he didn't remember. He knew what the word meant. _To lubricate means to make something slick or slippery._ He read the label, but it didn't offer much information on what it was for except that it was meant to be put on the body. He popped the top and put a single drop on his index finger. He rubbed his thumb and index finger together and found that it did exactly as it described. It made his skin slippery. Blaine resorted to taking out his laptop and Google-ing the item. The first things that popped up were shopping options. He had no idea that this oily substance would come in so many different brands, colors, and _apparently_ flavors. He skipped over those sites and went for Wikipedia. He found that it too was meant for sex. The webpage paid particular attention to the mention of "homosexual intercourse."

"Homosexual?" he asked himself. He went back to Google and typed in "Homosexual intercourse." Blaine jolted and his eyes went wide with the amount of information shown to him. There were pages on the mechanics and pages devoted to religious groups. Different charity organizations, AIDS cites, and several other things. The vast amount of information only made him frustrated and didn't know where to start, but he did notice that the word "gay" kept coming up. He typed that in the Google search instead and far more graphic items came up.

These sites seemed far less negative and far more explicit. There were sites for men and sites for women; sites for information, communities for helping gay people, and more often than not, Blaine came across videos and sites dedicated to viewing people engaging in gay sex. He clicked on one of them and the second the people in the video started doing anything, but talking, he held his breath. Two very attractive men were kissing passionately. Blaine couldn't take his eyes away. _People do this?_ he the two men started undressing one another and Blaine got so nervous he clicked out of the screen. He sat very still and quiet for a few minutes. He pondered the thought of coupling. He hadn't seen a same sex couple in television, so his only idea of relationships where that men and women went together.

He thought back to the condoms and bottle of lubrication and the things he saw on his computer and began wondering about himself. His old self. "Am I gay?" Blaine asked out loud. His mind wandered more when he tried to think of what that meant. Did he act a certain way that made him gay? Was he born this way or is he attracted to both men and women? Straight people used lube; was he just over thinking all this? He closed his laptop and moved onto the pictures.

There were only a small stack, but immediately he smiled when he saw the first one. Kurt and Blaine looked like they were lying down next to each other and holding a camera above them. _Kurt really is photogenic,_ he thought. He flipped through some more; his smile growing with each one. Then he stopped at one in particular. Kurt was laying in a bed with the blankets ruffled down at his waist. He was asleep and shirtless.

Blaine wondered why he had taken this particular photo… of Kurt half naked and asleep. It seemed so intimate. He flipped to the next picture. It was almost the same as the last one, but this one had Kurt just waking up. The next one had Kurt fully awake and sitting up. As he examined the photo he pretended to fool himself that he wasn't appraising Kurt's face and body. Kurt was gorgeous. His skin was flawless and creamy. The way the light in the picture shined on him, he looked magnificent. _And his lips,_ he thought as he forced himself not to touch the glossy photo with his fingertips,_ he's pouting._

He licked his lips and flipped the photo to make himself stop lusting the way he was. There were only three photos left. He froze when he saw content of the last three. All three were snapshots of Kurt and Blaine kissing. Two looked like they were taken by someone else and one was clearly taken by Blaine with one hand as they kissed gently. He splayed all three pictures out on his bed and looked them all over, picking at his nails nervously as he did so. What did this all mean? Was he gay? Was he and Kurt together as a couple? Or were they just friends who experimented and that's why all of this was hidden? He put everything away and decided to go to sleep without reading his journal. All of this was a lot to take and he didn't think he could handle anything else.

Dreams are a funny thing. Some people think that dreams are the brain's way of sifting through ones day in a bizarre mixing of concepts way. Some people think that dreams are the subconscious' way of giving advice to the dreamer. But once in a great while, the brain will do the dreamer a favor. It will show you what you want the most and give you a fantasy of whatever it is that you don't have.

Blaine found himself in a dewy meadow on a warm spring afternoon. His head was lying down with his head in someone's lap and someone was running their delicate fingers through his curls. He was completely relaxed and calm. Blaine closed his eyes and hummed as he turned his face up to look upon the face that belonged to the gentle hands. Kurt smiled down at him. He wore a look that was serene and there was a spark in his eyes.

"You look happy," dream Kurt said.

"I am. It's been a long time since I've been this relaxed."

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too." Blaine reached up with one hand and cupped Kurt's cheek. "I miss you."

"I miss you so much, Blaine," Kurt confessed, still looking dreamily at him. "Will I ever really see you again?"

"I don't know, Kurt. I'm sorry this is so hard for you. You've dealt with so much."

"Blaine don't apologize. I'd do this and more for you. I love you."

Blaine smiled. "I love you too. I know _he _doesn't know it yet, but he loves you too."

"He?" Kurt asked.

"Me. The new me. He'll figure it out soon. That's why he yells at you so much. He's confused, frustrated, and a little lost half of the time, but mostly there's a part of him that hates what he's doing to you because he knows you would rather be with me than him. So he gets moody really quickly and snaps at you."

"I love you both."

"I know you do. He knows it too."

"Does he really love me?"

"Of course he does!" Blaine scooted up to he knees and faced Kurt completely. "Kurt, he and I may have different personalities, but we're still the same person. Memories or not, you're still my soul mate. It's you and me forever. You're free to leave me whenever you want, but I'll always be yours."

Kurt grinned. "Oh, Blaine, don't be silly. I could never leave you." He leaned in closer.

Blaine put his thumbs through Kurt's belt loops and pulled him the rest of the way to him, closing the small gap between them. "You can, you know… leave me. You're not obligated to stay."

"Why would I want to leave you?"

"He spends an awful amount of time yelling at you these days."

"He's just scared and confused. Besides, if I can handle everything that happened last year, I can handle him yelling at me from time to time. We bicker. It never lasts that long before you turn back into a puppy."

"I can't get rid of that can I? Memory or no memory, I still turn into a puppy."

"Mmm," Kurt mused, playfully grinning. "Kiss me."

"Now, that I'll do."

Kurt grinned wider. "Good boy." They both leaned into each other and met in the middle, lips parted and tongues ready to touch. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck. The action looked comfortable and effortless, like they'd done this a hundred times.

Their heads twisted and careened side to side, dipping their tongues into each other's mouths hungrily like it was a race to beat the clock before the dream ended. It was strange, like Dream Kurt and Dream Blaine knew their time together was limited and was devouring every moment.

Kurt touched his fingers to Blaine's belt and spared no time unbuckling it. His breaths were laborsome and Blaine felt Kurt's hot breath has he breathily spoke into his ear. "I want you. I miss you so much. Please," he said. "Let me be inside you?"

Blaine responded by removing his own shirt and pulling Kurt's over his head. Kurt pushed down Blaine's jeans to his knees. He couldn't get them down any further because Blaine was kneeling.

Blaine tore his lips from Kurt's and started moving to be on all fours, but Kurt stopped him. "No. I want to look at you, while I make love to you." So, Blaine stood up instead to step out of his jeans and Kurt pulled Blaine's boxers down at well. He was already as hard as he could possibly get.

After all this time, Blaine's body still took Kurt's breath away. Blaine had the perfect sculpted features of an Adonis. Kurt kissed each of Blaine's hips and kissed tiny wet kisses closer to Blaine's shaft. Then he flicked his tongue out and sucked one of Blaine's balls into his mouth. He was gentle and loving. With his hands, he massaged Blaine's hips before letting his balls drop from his mouth in an audible smacking noise.

Blaine moaned and tangled his fingers in Kurt's hair. Because it was a dream, out of no where, a bottle of lubrication oil appeared and Kurt was slicking his fingers up with it. He took Blaine's dick into his mouth and braced himself by holding Blaine's hip with one hand and inserting one finger into Blaine's heat with the other.

This made Blaine moan harder. He twisted his fingers deeper into Kurt's hair and squeezed. Dream Kurt had no gag reflex so Blaine started gently rocking his hips and minutely thrusting into Kurt's mouth, in effect, impaling himself on Kurt's index finger, which quickly became index and middle fingers. "Oh, fuck."

Two fingers became three and when Kurt felt Blaine was ready, he removed his fingers and mouth from Blaine and slipped off his pants. He remained on his knees and let Blaine sink onto his cock. They both moaned at the same time, letting out a much needed, "Uhng!" Kurt held Blaine in place by grasping his fingers of his left hand to the small of Blaine's back and his right hand up between Blaine's shoulder blades.

Blaine let go of a long breath and breathed hot as Kurt started girating and thrusting up into him.

"Mmn, fuck," Blaine groaned.

Kurt moaned and pressed his lips between Blaine's collar bones. "Uhng." He pushed hard and steady in long emphasized thrusts. One particular hard thrust sent Blaine pitching himself forward, knocking Kurt backwards.

Kurt felt the grass and flowers beneath his back and his fingers dug into the dirt and soil when Blaine immediately started riding him. "Fuck. Fuck. Kurt, you feel so good."

"Ahh! Mmnn! So tight."

"Mmnn. Come for me. I wanna make you come." Blaine ground down harder.

Kurt moaned and grabbed Blaine's hips, smearing his skin with dirt and met him thrust for thrust. "Uhng! Shit. Oh shit, fuck. I love you. I love you so much." His stomach was tightening and he could feel his warmth spreading throughout his groin. He was close.

"Come on. Ah! Fuck. Come, Kurt. Come for me, Baby."

Two more thrusts and Kurt was spilling of the edge and coming into Blaine. Kurt gently took himself out of Blaine once his dick ceased pulsing and pushing out his seed. He rolled Blaine over and kissed him hard on the lips, tasting every bit of Blaine's mouth. He kissed down his neck and over his shoulders. He kissed each pectoral and licked each nipple. He nuzzled and licked his way all the way down to Blaine's cock and spared no time in taking Blaine into his mouth. He sucked hard and fast, hollowing out his cheeks and tonguing Blaine's slit.

Blaine was close, so close. Kurt's mouth was warm and wet. "Uhng." He was right there. Kurt sucked harder. Blaine's groin tightened. He could feel his orgasm coming. "Oh Kurt. I love you. I'm right there. Right there. Uhng. I'm-"

Blaine's eyes snapped open in his bed. His heart was racing and his hand flew to his groin. His dick was throbbing and Blaine's body jerked as the last bit of semen left his cock. He could feel the dampness of his pajama bottoms. "Shit," was the first thing out of Blaine's mouth. He raced from his bed, stripped off his boxers and pants, and grabbed a towel from his laundry basket to wipe himself off. He put on a new pair of boxers and climbed back in bed. His breathing was still hard and his heart was still beating out of his chest.

He sat up in bed and put his face in his hands. "What is wrong with me?" he said out loud into his fingertips. He covered his heart with his hand and wiped a sheen of sweat from his forehead. When Blaine looked over at the clock, it read 2:30 AM and he glanced over at his night stand. He opened it and pulled out the photographs.

_Kurt. Kurt. Kurt._ Every photo had Kurt in it. Kurt smiling, Kurt pouting, Kurt sleeping…Kurt kissing. Blaine bit his lip and flipped through the photos again and again. Confusion filled his brain. He could see his lips on Kurt's on the glossy photo paper. It made him nervous. Why were these photos hidden and why didn't Kurt mention anything about this? About anything even closely related to any of these photos. Blaine had never wanted to remember something so badly. He tried and tried, but nothing came. All he could think about was the dream. "It was so real." He closed his eyes and thought about how he could feel everything. He could smell the dew in the meadow and Kurt's shampoo. He could feel Kurt's hands on him and Kurt's lips. Why would he dream this? He groaned and flipped through the photos again. He stopped at one and saw something he hadn't before.

Up until now he'd only been looking at Kurt at the pictures, but this one caught his eye. Blaine wasn't looking at Kurt; he was looking at himself. It was a photo that someone else had taken of them. They weren't doing anything. Just sitting together. Clearly it was taken when they didn't know anyone was paying attention. But what made it special was the way Blaine was looking at Kurt. Blaine saw a familiarity in his own facial expression. It was the same expression he wore in his dream. It was… affectionate? He looked like Kurt was the most important thing in the world.

_Is it possible?_ Blaine thought. "He told me he loved me," Blaine said in reference to his dream. "I said I loved him back." He made to put the photos back in the drawer and saw the journal. Blaine put the photos away and held the journal. He wanted to know. Was there something more to Kurt and himself? The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Kurt was closer to the family and more like a second son to his parents. He knew more about Blaine than anyone and was the most supportive. Even James at the coffee shop seemed like he should have known Kurt to be around him. Kurt seemed comfortable hugging Blaine when Blaine embraced him earlier.

Blaine drummed his fingers on the cover of the journal. He knew whatever was in the pages of this book would tell him the truth, but something was stopping him from opening it. It was like he almost didn't want to find out this way. If Kurt and he had something between them or had a past, he wanted to find it out from Kurt. Reading it when he didn't remember writing it seemed like he was finding out about his life from a third party. It was fine when his family told him things because the memories they told were of things that they actually saw. The person who wrote this book was someone that Blaine didn't know… his old self. What if Blaine wrote something that was an opinion and it wasn't true? What if Blaine wrote that Kurt loved him and if Blaine confronted Kurt about it and it was wrong? What would it do them? What would it do to Blaine? He wanted to know, to understand. Would the truth really set him free?

Blaine licked his lips and put the journal back. Someday he would read it, but it wouldn't be today. Today he was confused. Today he didn't know what was happening inside him. Today he would go back to sleep and when he woke up, he'd talk to Kurt about it. _Maybe knowing about my past is something I should be doing instead of raging against it,_ he thought.

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><p>yeah... I gave you smut... surprise!<p>

and you're welcome! :P

Please review!

Tumblr: grace-ryan


	8. Chapter 8

Short-ish one, but it moves things along. Read on and see what happens the following morning when he wakes up and remembers everythiing from the night before.

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

In the morning, Blaine blinked his eyes open to the sound of his curtains being opened and the sun warming his face. He groaned and buried his face in his pillow. "Blaine, wake up. We have a lot to do today," his mother sang.

"What?" Blaine moaned into his pillow.

"Well, there's the shower you have to take, your teeth that needs brushing, the early lunch I'm taking you to, then the meeting with Principal Figgins at your school that your father and I have scheduled at one o'clock."

"Gmm, what time is it now?" Blaine stretched then realized what his mother was saying. He sat up quickly. "Wait. What? Meeting with the principal at my school?"

Beth smiled. "It's ten o'clock now and you have a little more than an hour to get ready. Then lunch. Then I'm taking you to see your school."

Blaine was so excited that he was finally getting what he wanted, a chance to get live a normal life, that he had almost forgotten about his findings from last night. He was reminded of his thoughts, randomly, when they drove past the hair salon Kurt took him to the day before. The salon reminded him of Kurt and now when the thought of Kurt popped in his head, he thought of the pictures he had hidden away in his nightstand… and his dream from last night, but he tried desperately to not think about that right now.

"You're quiet," Beth mused. "More than normal." She smiled at his son, hoping he knew she was playing with him. "Are you nervous to see your school?"

"A little, but that's not what I was thinking about. I probably should be thinking more about school and the people I'll meet than what I'm actually thinking about." Blaine wasn't sure how he felt about telling his mother about what he found in his drawer. He didn't feel uncomfortable telling her because from what he understood about a family staple, you're supposed to be able to trust your parents and be able to tell or ask anything. He did trust his parents. Except for the part about them hiding things about his past from him, they've done everything for him. They were kind and patient and gave him almost everything he wanted. Mainly what he wanted was time with Kurt, but even with that, his parents gave them all the time in the world. All in all, he figured that his parents were good people.

"What are you thinking about?" his mother asked.

He didn't know who else to talk to or how to go about finding the answers, so Blaine took a deep breath and looked at his mother intently. "Um… I found something in a drawer in my room." He cleared his throat. "A, uh, box of condoms." He noticed that his mother's eyebrows went up and surprise. He also noticed that she was purposely trying to keep her face from changing expressions, but couldn't stop her eyes from glancing around quickly. "I was wondering if- um- you could _explain_," he paused to gage his mother's uncomfortability with the topic. He knew it was a private topic to discuss, maybe not over lunch in a public place, but no one was around because it was a weekday. Also, he just wanted to know. "…sex-to-me." Blaine got the last three words out fast.

Beth coughed. "Oh, um-" She took a sip of water. "Wow. I wasn't expecting that."

"I'm making you uncomfortable. I'm sorry. Nevermind."

"No, Blaine. It's okay, really." She covered his hand for a second, patting it, then retreated it back to her water glass. "Your question just caught me by surprise; that's all." The waiter came by and refilled their water glasses. Beth waited for the water to be far enough away to start talking again. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"Just the basics I guess. Since the box was open and not full, I thought that I'd like to know what I was doing. Did you and dad know that I had sex?"

Beth was uncomfortable, but didn't want to let her son know just how much. She didn't know how to explain sex to Blaine exactly either. She knew her son was gay, but Kurt and Henry had agreed to let Blaine figure that out on his own. However, she didn't want to explain sex as something that only happens between a man and a woman because she didn't want to alienate him. "Yes, we did know. You told your father last spring and he told me, but you must have been very discrete about doing it in our house because that was something we did not know."

Blaine blinked. "Oh. Sorry?" He wasn't sure if he was supposed to admit that. He only apologized because he felt that he should apologize for someone; either to his mother for his former self, or to his former self for ratting him out.

"Let's just pretend I didn't know that. Knowing that my baby boy is old enough to be having sex isn't a thought I like to think about often. I suppose, however, that I should at least be comforted by the idea that you're using protection."

"Did I have sex with a lot of people?"

"No. Only two, thank goodness. You're kind of old fashioned, I guess, in the sense of _quality not quantity_. Yet another thing that should comfort me."

"Okay. So… can you explain it to me? What it is?" Blaine took a breath.

They both paused when their food came. Beth took a bite of her salad and a sip of her water. Blaine did the same with his burger. He ordered a cheeseburger with bacon on it, french fries, and a side salad with vinaigrette dressing. This was not something the old Blaine would have ordered. He had stopped eating red meat a couple years ago because of an article he read in a health magazine in a doctor's office. Also deep fried food was a rare thing for him to eat. Lastly, even if he would have ordered vinaigrette as a dressing, he would have ordered it on the side. Blaine only ordered the meal because he had bacon for breakfast a few weeks ago and loved it, the dressing was the same dressing his mother ordered and he didn't want to complicated things, and he saw a McDonald's commercial and wondered what a burger tasted like. He decided that anything covered in bacon tasted infinitely better, even though the burger probably would taste good all on its own.

"Alright," Beth began. "Well, when two people love each other and are completely comfortable with each other, and feel like they need to express their feelings for each other in a deeper way…" Another sip of water. She looked off, appearing to search for words in the air to pull out and use. "They have sex, or make love."

Blaine wiped his mouth with his napkin. Something his mother said in the first part of her speech, caught his attention. "You said 'people.' When two _people_? You mean man and woman?" He was guiding his mother into a trap and he knew it.

"No," Beth quickly answered. "I meant exactly what I people. See, Blaine, sometimes two men or two women fall in love with each other. About ten percent of the human population is, um, homosexual. That means that they're attracted to the same sex."

"And that's socially acceptable?" There it was, he trapped her. Secretly, this is what he really wanted. He wanted to know if it was okay with his parents if he were gay. He still wasn't sure, but the need for approval was still there. He didn't want to know that the person he was born to be, was someone his parents would hate.

"It is in this family," Beth quickly answered. She meant it. It had been a long, hard road for the Anderson family when Blaine came out. She loved her son, as did Henry, but their hatred for the way the world might treat their beloved, kind hearted son was something that weighed heavily on them. Unfortunately, that's not the way it came out. At first, it often happened that Henry would get angry and they made him keep it a secret from everyone they knew. They loved him dearly and when his old school no longer became a safe place for him, they happily sent him to Dalton, Henry's alma mater with an enforced No Tolerance policy. Then he met Kurt and Kurt's father forced himself into the Anderson's lives. As unwelcome as the meeting was, Burt Hummel was the family's savior. Then they realized what Kurt meant to Blaine. How Kurt Hummel saved Blaine from hating himself because Kurt did nothing, but love Blaine for who he was _because_ of who he was. Yes, the Hummel family was the Anderson's family hero. Beth and Henry loved their son more than anything and they decided long ago, that when Blaine would realize again that he was gay, they would do it right this time, when it came to Blaine coming out for a second time in his life.

"It is?" Blaine asked.

"Yes. One hundred percent, acceptable."

"Dad too?"

"Dad, Claire, and Jared too. Everyone has a right to be comfortable in their own home, regardless of who they love or sleep with."

Blaine started to get the hint that his mother already knew the truth and was feeling more trapped than he made her. Almost like she was expecting him to come out to her right then and there. Truthfully he really wasn't sure. He could explain or describe it, but he just didn't know. It was nice to know however that even if he was, his family would still love him and not treat him any differently. Maybe his home was more of a sanctuary than he thought.

"If you're still curious about sex, we have a book at home that we used to explain where babies came from when you, Claire, and Jared were little. Also, we have another one that can explain things a bit more to you in detail. You can read through it and come ask me or your father if you have any other questions. I realize I hadn't really explained much, but the books can probably explain things better than I can. Sound okay?"

"Yeah." He half smiled. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome. Now eat your burger covered in grease; we have an appointment in forty-five minutes." Beth smiled back at her son before forking some salad in her mouth.

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><p>No Kurt in this chapter, but I wanted to show that Blaine's mother, Beth, has changed just as much as Henry.<p>

No worries, Kurt will be in the next chapter


	9. Chapter 9

**Kurt's back in the chapter :)**

**So is Blaine... and a returning character from DMTHGF ;-)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

"So, Blaine's coming over after school today?" Finn asked at lunch.

"Yeah. Staying for dinner too. Then I think I'm going to walk him home and see how his memory is at how to get himself home on foot. We only live a couple blocks away from each other so I think it would be good for him."

"Cool. It'd be cool to see him again. You said he's different, right?"

Kurt took a sip of his diet Snapple. "He's still Blaine, but there are little differences. He's got a smaller fuse as far as his temper goes."

"And you're sure he doesn't remember anything?" Rachel asked.

Kurt gave Rachel an annoyed look. For as pitch perfect as she was in glee, she was completely tone deaf to anything else. "No, Rachel," he said sarcastically. "I've spent every afternoon and evening with him for the past month and a half and I never once thought to bring up past experiences to check for recognition."

"Well, he and I dated for a week, so that has to mean something to him. I'll tell him all about it when we see him this afternoon."

"We?" Kurt asked rhetorically.

"Rachel, you're not coming," Finn added.

"What? Of course I am. You and I are hanging out this afternoon."

"We're hanging out away from my house, then I'm going home."

"Why do you get to see him and I don't?"

"Because I live there. I'm not even going home until later so he doesn't get overwhelmed with three people instead of two. That's why I asked if you wanted to hang out. So I had something to do." Rachel shot Finn a look. "And because you're my girlfriend and I love you and I would have wanted to hang out with you anyway," Finn quickly added.

Rachel rolled her eyes and turned her argument to Kurt. "But Blaine and I dated."

"Rachel, you dated him for a week and it doesn't count because he's gay and was just confused at the time. Not to mention you knew that and played his confusion card in your favor. You never did anything of importance with him. As important as you think you are, this isn't your call. You're not coming," Kurt snapped.

"But Finn-"

"No Rachel," Finn interrupted. "You're thinking of yourself and not thinking of Blaine. Blaine is meeting his second family. You were his friend, but our house was his safe haven. This is huge for him. He's already meeting three new people at once. The less people at a time, the better."

"Finn Hudson, if you weren't my brother, straight, and completely unattractive to me, I'd kiss you for saying all that." Finn half smiled, wondering if he was just insulted or complimented while Rachel hung her head for having been talked to like that.

The conversation ended as they reached a moot point and Kurt left the table when his finished his lunch. He decided to go to his locker early and miss the after lunch rush when the hallways would be almost too crowded to breathe. He had just finished grabbing everything he needed and giving his hair a quick one-over with hair spray, when Zach startled him by leaning against a nearby locker.

Over the past year, Zach and Kurt had grown rather close and described their friendship as "bromantic." While Zach was straight, he had no problem hugging or even holding Kurt's hand. Last year, when they met, there was a lot of confusion as to Zach's sexuality because of his overt nature around Kurt and Blaine was beyond jealous of them because "Kurt was his boyfriend and not Zach's." Zach was the cause of endless amounts of fights between Kurt and Blaine, but over time, Blaine came to understand Kurt and Zach's friendship and he accepted Zach as someone who was apart of Kurt's life now. Once Blaine gave Zach a chance, they were both surprised to find that they were fast friends. Now, through this whole ordeal with Blaine losing his memory, Kurt leaned on Zach more than anyone else while he was away from Blaine.

He told Zach everything he was feeling and thinking and spared no detail. "You know, you're bound to lose some brain cells from inhaling all that aerosol in your hairspray," Zach joked.

"When that happens then you won't feel so inferior to me. We'll be equals." Kurt smiled, shutting his locker.

"Did I hear right? Blaine is here today?"

"What?" Kurt scrunched his face up in confusion. "Pretty sure I would have known that."

"Oh. Well I heard from someone in passing that they thought they saw Blaine sitting in the principal's office. Is he coming back sooner than you thought, maybe?"

"Maybe. I don't know." Kurt raised his eyebrows. Unless that was a last minute thing they decided to do. How long ago did you hear that they saw him?"

"I don't know, ten-fifteen minutes ago. I heard it and came to find you."

"Come on." It only took Kurt a second to connect the dots of what Zach was saying and abruptly started walking to Principal Figgin's office with Zach in tow. When he got there, Kurt immediately went up to the secretary's desk. "Did Blaine Anderson stop by today?"

The nurse smiled brightly up at Kurt. "He did indeed. He's such a sweet boy. His mother and him are still in the office with Principal Figgins in fact."

"He is?" Kurt asked for clarification. The secretary smiled and nodded. "Do you know why he's here?"

"Mr. Hummel, you know that even if I did know, I couldn't tell you. Private and confidential, and all that."

"Do you know how long they'll be in there?"

"I don't."

"Damn. Okay. Well, I'm going to wait for them to come out if that's okay."

The secretary glanced at the clock. "I believe the bell will ring in seven minutes for class. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until after school to talk with Blaine, Kurt."

"I don't care. I'll skip or be late."

"That will only land you in detention. I suggest you go to class and wait out the two and a half hours until school ends."

Kurt huffed and marched out of the office, again with Zach in tow.

"Wow, are you always like that when it comes to Blaine now?" Zach asked.

"Yes," Kurt spat out. He wasn't sure where he was marching to because it wasn't time for class yet. He stopped walking and started searching through his messenger bag for chap stick. "Shit. I forgot my binder for Economics." Now he had a direction, back to his locker.

"I'm not saying that the way you take things when it comes to Blaine isn't bad; I'm only saying that it's intense. Not that you aren't always intense about him, but now you kind of seem like his protector."

"I am his protector."

They reached Kurt's locker and Kurt began twisting the dial on his combination lock. "Why?" Zach asked. "Isn't that the role of his parents? You act like you have complete control over everything."

"I pretty much do. His parents don't know what they're doing and they give me free reign. Seriously. Anything I ask, they let me do." The lock popped open and he opened his locker door.

"They don't know what they're doing?" Zach asked rhetorically. "Huh. When was the last time you dealt with someone with no memory? Do you know what you're doing?"

Kurt looked at Zach sharply. He knew Zach wasn't being accusative. Zach was just playing devil's advocate, as he usually does to help Kurt work through something. "I-" He paused. "No." He looked down during their moment of silence and grabbed his binder for Economics. "I guess I don't. They're careful and calculating. I'm always looking ahead at his future and trying to help him grow."

"I see. Okay. Well, how does he respond to everyone controlling him?"

"So far he's been fine. He doesn't know what he wants or likes, so he sort of just goes with it."

"That doesn't seem very fun."

Kurt shut his locker again and leaned against it. "We have plenty of fun."

"I'm just saying that people grow through experiences and not by watching everyone else have experiences for them."

"He has been a bit frustrated lately. He snaps at people, mainly me, a whole lot more these days."

"Snaps, as in, like, fighting?"

Kurt thought for a moment. "No. It's more like he's taking out his frustrations on me. He's starting to feel isolated. I took him out yesterday. It was a disaster, but we still went out. Today I'm taking him to my house, which will be big for him."

"Do you think what has him feeling frustrated all the time is that he might feel too controlled? He has to experience things for himself. I know that if I had people around me telling me what was best for me and constantly thinking of a former self, then I'd be pissed off all the time too."

"It's not like that."

"It isn't?"

"No."

"You're sure?"

Kurt thought about it. "Maybe a little. I'd just rather him be frustrated than overwhelmed."

"Oh, I see. Like ignorance is bliss, kind of thing?"

"Exactly. I don't want to give him too much and have him wish he was someone else."

"Or worse…" Zach trailed off.

"What do you mean?"

"Worse would be that he finds out what kind of person he was and hates it enough to dismiss everyone he used to know… yourself included."

Kurt put his head down. "How could he ever hate what kind of person he was? He was perfect and everything that was good in this stupid world."

Zach put his hands on Kurt's shoulders and leaned in close, almost hugging him, but clearly displaying an intimate gesture. "I'm sorry my comment made you upset. Even if he could ever not like his former self, I doubt he could ever dismiss you from his life. I doubt he'd want to."

"You mean that?"

Zach pulled Kurt to him and hugged him tightly, knowing his closest friend needed this kind of reassuring hug. "You know the connection you too have. There's nothing that could pull you two apart." He brushed the back of Kurt's hair, something only Zach and Blaine were allowed to do.

The bell rang and the hallway quickly flooded with people. Zach kept an arm around Kurt's shoulders and they chatted while he walked Kurt to class. Unbeknownst to them was a pair of honey eyes watching them walk away.

Blaine had grown bored in the meeting with the principal and didn't see the point of him being there while his mother talked paperwork with him. Blaine excused himself and lied, saying he had to go to the bathroom. In reality he just wanted to roam the halls. Hopefully he was see Kurt or someone who knew him who could tell him where to find Kurt.

"Oh Blaine!" The secretary beamed. "You _just_ missed Kurt."

"I did!"

"Yes. He was going to wait for you, but I told him not to miss class."

"Is he in class now?" Blaine rushed out. His heart was jumping. He really wanted to see Kurt and tell him about his day. Blaine knew he'd be seeing him in a couple hours, but some part of him was really proud of himself for being out of the house and in a public setting without Kurt and not getting overwhelmed.

"No. The bell hasn't rung yet. I don't know where he went, but I do know he took a right when he left this office. Probably toward the lockers. If you take a right out of here, go to the end of the hallway and take a left, you'll start to see the lockers. Just look around and you might catch him. If you get lost on your way back here, there will be signs."

"Thank you!" Blaine smiled widely and took off running. He got to the lockers, but quickly found that there seemed to be endless hallways of them. Down two hallways had staircases and he didn't know if he should go upstairs to see if there were more lockers upstairs between the classrooms, the way these were. He finally turned the corner down the last hallway on the floor and he saw Kurt down towards the end with a tall blonde boy. He smiled and took a step. He was about to yell out to Kurt, but he stopped. He saw the tall blonde get really close to Kurt. Intimately close. Blaine watched curiously. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but something bubbled inside him. He was jealous. He didn't want to see Kurt that close to anyone. He didn't want anyone touching Kurt that gently and intimately.

The blonde pulled Kurt to him and held him tightly. Kurt didn't appear to be resisting in any way. He was accepting of the action and even looked comfortable like this was something that happened many times before. Blaine's smile left him. A bell rang in the hallway and he watched, with disappointment, as the two boys walked away with the blonde's arm around Kurt's shoulder.

His chest felt heavy. He had begun to wish that he never left the office. When he turned he realized that he had forgotten how many turns he made and wasn't sure how to get back to the office. _Great_, he thought. He could feel a lump rising in his throat. Taking a deep breath he stopped someone by touching their arm. "Excuse me, can you show me how to get to the principal's office?"

"Blaine?" The girl asked. "Oh my god!

"Oh my god it's Blaine," said someone else nearby.

Blaine's name spread through the hall like wildfire and soon, hoards of people were crowding him, saying his name and asking him questions. "Please, I just need to get to the office." He was starting to feel overheated very quickly and could feel his face getting flushed. His heart was racing and it didn't take long for him to abandon the thought of wanting help to the office.

Blaine tried to scoot away from the crowd that only grew in size by the second and ended up being cornered. His throat was catching and people were starting to touch his arms and shoulders, for reasons he didn't know because there were too many voices to be able to focus on one to find out why. He wanted to yell or ask them to leave him alone, but didn't want to seem rude. Surely the mob had no idea that they were being intrusive. "Excuse me," he said, trying to squeeze himself out to no avail. "Excuse me," he said again. The voices were only growing louder in his ears and his hands were beginning to shake.

"Guys move! Blaine! Guys get the fuck out of the way!" Came a male voice. Blaine had resorted to closing his eyes and trying to zone out. He heard the voice and then a strong hand grasped his arm. A gentle feminine hand found his on the opposite arm and he was being pulled through the crowd. "Leave him alone!" yelled the girl with the feminine hand.

He opened his eyes and saw Mike and Tina quickly pulling him through the hallway. He'd never been so happy to see a familiar, or two, faces. They pulled him into a near by room with instruments, risers, and more importantly, no people.

"Blaine, are you okay?" Tina asked. They were trying to guide him to a chair to sit down.

"No, I'm not okay!" he yelled, the lump in his throat now causing his breath to catch and the tears started flowing. "My memory. My god damn, stupid, fucked-up memory. I can't remember anything. I can't remember how to get back to the stupid office. I can't remember anyone I see. I c-" He was about to say _I can't remember me._

"Blaine, what are you doing here?" A man with light brown curly hair, wearing a vest walked in holding a number of folders and a messenger bag. Blaine looked at him, wanting to scream, but saw the concern on his face. He looked older, so Blaine assumed this man was a teacher.

Blaine finally sat down, exhausted. The man was just the icing on the cake. Acting like he knew him, when Blaine had no clue who he was.

"Mr. Shue can you go get Kurt? He's in Economics with Mr. Gerald," Mike immediately requested.

"No!" Blaine interjected. "Not him." He wiped his face and the tears stopped instantly. Mike and Tina eyed each other for a second, both looking concerned and confused as to why Kurt was not what Blaine wanted. "I just want to go to the principal's office. I shouldn't have left. I'm stupid."

"No," Tina stopped him. "You're not. Blaine just take a minute and breathe. When you're calm we'll take you." She was crouched at his knees. Mike was sitting next to him.

"Guys, what happened?" Mr. Shuester asked.

"Blaine got bombarded in the hallway," Mike explained. "People here are idiots."

"Seriously. Couldn't they see what they were doing?" Tina added.

"I'm so sorry that happened," Mr. Shuester dragged a chair in front of Blaine and sat in it backwards. "Blaine, I'm Will Sheuster. I'm the Spanish Teacher and the Director of Glee Club."

Blaine was looking down. "Nice to meet you." He sounded tired.

"My pleasure," Mr. Sheuster answered. "What do you need in the principal's office?"

"My mom. We were here to discuss me coming back, but I left the meeting to explore. Then I got lost."

"Tell you what, I'm going to go get her for you. Stay put." He patted Blaine's knee and headed for the door.

Blaine did as he was told, sitting and taking deep breaths.

"Blaine?" Tina asked.

Blaine slowly brought his eyes up to her.

"Why didn't you want Mr. Sheu to get Kurt?"

"He's busy."

"No, really, dude," Mike insisted. "What's going on with you two? Did something happen?"

Blaine wasn't sure how to answer that question. Technically, the answer was no because Kurt didn't know anything Blaine was feeling. Or, for that matter, Blaine didn't know what he was feeling either. What was it about seeing Kurt in his dream that made him aroused. Seeing Kurt hugging another man made him feel…he felt… he didn't know. Upset? Disappointed? Jealous? Why?

"I don't know. Is it normal for-" he stopped and started again. "Before the accident, was I- Did Kurt and I- Is Kurt and-" He stopped once more and tried again. He itched his forehead and gave up. He looked at both of his friends. "Would it make any sense at all to either of you if I said I think I might have feelings for Kurt?" There. He said it. Now, it didn't matter. The words were out and they had to mean something.

Mike and Tina stole one last glance at each other, seemingly conveying a whole conversation in a second's worth of a look. They looked back at Blaine and at the same time answered, "Yes."

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><p>Yes I know, I'm notorious for cliffhangers and I'm awful for it :-P<p>

BUT Validation at last!

Also, Mike and Tina went against Kurt's wishes, kind of. They weren't supposed to say anything. Hurray for AWESOME friends!

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm introducing ONE more character... he's in the Glee universe so he's not new, but he's new to the DMTHGF universe... but fair warning, I changed his personality and he isn't the same as his TV show counterpart. You'll know who I mean once he enters the chapter.**

**:)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

Blaine looked at both Tina and Mike with a combination of shock and awe at what they've just confirmed for him. They knew. They knew all along and never said anything. Why? Was it Blaine who always had feelings for Kurt? Or Kurt who always had feelings for Blaine? Or Both? He had so many questions.

"Blaine! Oh dear, what happened?" Beth came rushing into the choir room and up to the three teens.

"It's nothing. I'm fine, Mom," Blaine explained. He wasn't at all fine, but he was much calmer now that he had something else to focus on.

"What happened? I thought you were going to the bathroom."

"I was," he lied, "but the secretary said she saw Kurt and I wanted to show him that I was out of the house again. Surprise him, kind of. Then people started cornering me all at once, and I couldn't remember how to get back to the office, and I just got really overwhelmed. I'm sorry, Mom."

"Don't throw it away like that," Tina scolded. She looked at Beth. "He was having a panic attack or something when we got to him. And don't believe him when he says that it was nothing. There were a lot of people surrounding and cornering him. Anyone would have reacted the same way with the amount of people clawing at them."

There was a moment of silence in the room because no one knew what to say. "Blaine, come on. Let's go home, Sweetie." Beth gestured to Blaine to come with her.

He looked at all the faces in the room and got up from his chair. Blaine turned around when he got to the door. He wasn't concerned with privacy. Both his mother and Mr. Sheuster were right there beside him "Did you mean what you said? It makes sense?" He asked his two friends.

This time they didn't look at each other. "Yes," they said in unison.

"Where are we going?" Blaine asked after five minutes in the car.

"Home."

"But you said we had errands to run."

"It's fine, Blaine. I can go tomorrow. I'll order take out tonight for dinner and we'll just go home. Besides, you're still going to Kurt's today, right?"

_Kurt,_ Blaine thought. Kurt's arms around him, Photo Kurt's lips on his, naked Dream Kurt with his mouth around him, Kurt in an embrace with the tall blonde; those images ran through his head. "No. I can handle it. Please don't stop your plans because of me." Blaine didn't want to sit alone in his room with the knowledge and temptation of the journal in the drawer. He still wasn't ready to read it.

"Blaine, you had an anxiety attack in a group of people. Don't you think one large group is enough for one day?"

"Mom, please," he begged. He fiddled with his fingers and chewed on his lower lip. He came up with an idea. "You can always drop me off at this little coffee shop in town and come get me when you're finished. It's called the Lima Bean. It's mid-day on a Monday, so it probably won't be crowded and if I can handle the public for a couple hours on my own, then I can be proud of something, right?"

"The Lima Bean?" Beth asked.

"Yeah, it's across the street from a bookstore and next door to that, um, shoe store that I can't remember the name of."

"I know where it is. You and Kurt used to go there almost every day." She smiled then brought her eyebrows together. "How do you know about it?"

Blaine could hear the hint of hope in her voice. He felt bad that he was about to squash it. "Kurt and I went there yesterday. Didn't Dad tell you?"

"No. I guess not." Beth tried hard to hide her slight disappointment. She didn't want Blaine to think she was disappointed in him because she wasn't.

"Please, Mom? I don't want to go home. Not yet." There was a desperation in his voice, though it was quiet.

Beth made a clicking sound as she thought. She clenched her jaw for a moment and finally agreed. She turned the car around and headed back towards town.

When they got to the coffee shop, Beth handed Blaine a twenty dollar bill because that was the only increment she had in money. She also scribbled down her cell number and told him to call her on a pay phone if he needed her or wanted to go home. He thanked her and went inside.

Midday, just past the lunch rush, he was right. Not many people were there. One elderly couple sat by the window doing nothing but looking at each other.

Blaine didn't know how long he would be there so he went over to the magazine rack and picked out two magazines. He thought he heard Kurt mention something about Vogue once and selected that one along with a People magazine. He saw his mother reading it from time to time. He brought the magazines up to the counter and thought for a second when the barista asked if he wanted anything to drink. "What was it Kurt ordered?" he whispered to himself. "Oh! Um, a medium drip and a biscotti, please."

The barista smiled. "Do you go to Dalton?"

"No. Why?"

"Oh. Sorry. They don't have school today. There were a bunch of them in here earlier. I thought maybe you were here for round two."

"Nope. McKinley." Blaine thought it best to just say that's where he went. Technically he did.

"You can sit if you want. No one's here so I can bring you your coffee. Blaine noticed the girl had a goofy grin and sparkly eyes. It made him uncomfortable, but also slightly flattered.

"Thanks." He walked away and sat in the corner of the café with his magazines. A few minutes passed and the barista came by with his coffee and biscotti. She also handed him a folded napkin with her number on it. Blaine didn't know what to do, so he just smiled and looked back down to his magazines. About half way through his coffee he was getting more and more annoyed with his Vogue magazine because it seemed that every third page had a tall blonde model and it didn't matter if it were a male or female because all Blaine saw was a tall blonde with his arms around Kurt. _His Kurt._ But was he? Blaine sighed and flipped the magazine shut. He had just touched the tip of the coffee cup to his lips when he noticed a boy staring at him. _I didn't see anyone come in,_ he thought.

Blaine didn't really know what to do. He felt awkward looking down now because he'd already made eye contact. The boy smiled and showed off a pair of perfect, pearly white teeth. His eyes shimmered and the corners of his eyes squinted a little when he smiled. It was nice. The boy got up and Blaine was able to see how tall he was; and how very thin. He was a brunette with a stylish comb-over. "Hi," he said when he came over.

"H-hello," Blaine greeted tentatively.

"You're not, by any chance, Blaine Anderson, are you?"

"Oh. I, um. Yeah. I am." Blaine wasn't sure why he was stammering to get through a sentence with this boy. "I'm s-sorry I-I don't-"

The tall brunette was able to read something on Blaine's face and interrupted him. "Oh, we don't know each other. I just recognize your face. I know the feeling though. You're talking to someone who you're not sure if you know them or not. That happens to me all the time."

"Um, okay." He laughed. "You have no idea how relieved I am."

"Is this seat taken?"

Blaine smiled and moved his magazines. "No." He gestured to the seat in front of him and the boy sat.

The boy covered his chest with his hand. "Sorry, I'm Sebastian Smyth. I go to Dalton. I'm a Warbler. I saw pictures from last year. That's how I recognized you. It's hard to forget the face of someone who was their fearless leader last year."

"Oh! Okay. I was really starting to wonder how you knew me if we've never met."

Sebastian smiled bigger. "Sorry for pulling the creeper card. You just looked so adorable sitting here and getting madder with each flip of the page that I wanted to cheer you up."

"You saw that?"

"Yeah. Again, sorry."

"No it's okay. Most of the time it's me apologizing anyway, so this is a nice change."

"Now what would you need to apologize for? I thought guys as good looking at you could do no wrong?"

Blaine blushed and grabbed his coffee, pulling it closer to his chest. "Um… I… I don't have the best memory."

"Oh I'm sure whoever it is you're apologizing to doesn't mind, so long as it's you saying it because that means you're in their presence."

Blaine blushed again. "P-please s-stop."

"Why?" Sebastian licked his lips. He wasn't appraising Blaine, or really even hitting on him. Sebastian was doing exactly what he said he came over there to do, make Blaine feel better.

"Because there's only so many things I can do before my face turns completely red and I can't hide that." He looked down into his coffee cup. Blaine wasn't sure why, but he liked Sebastian's attention. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he wasn't re-meeting Sebastian. He was meeting him for the first time and didn't have any parameters or faults to work around. It was a fresh start. Clearly Sebastian wasn't expecting anything, but a conversation. _This is nice,_ Blaine thought and almost all thoughts of the tall blonde and Kurt in his arms were wiped from Blaine's thoughts for the moment.

Over an hour went by and Blaine barely noticed the time fly. He found it really easy to talk to this Sebastian guy and even opened up about his amnesia a little.

"So, you don't remember anything? Nothing at all?"

Blaine sighed. "No. Not before the accident."

"Is that why you haven't seen your friends at Dalton?"

"Yeah. Actually I'm not even sure they know."

"Do you want to find out?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, like, today. I can bring you to Dalton and we can hang out and you can re-meet the guys. They love you. I'm sure they'd be really happy to see you. I can't imagine how much your friends missed you and might not know why you haven't talked to them."

Blaine started to clam up again. "I-I dunno. I was already at a school of people today and it didn't turn out so well."

"Well, the good news is that you won't be roaming hallways. There's no school, so the guys are all in their dorms. We can hang out in mine and invite a few people over. Very small. I promise."

"Why are you doing this?"

Sebastian made a tick noise with his tongue and teeth. "Because… I don't really want to see you off yet."

Both boys blinked and stared at each other in silence. If Blaine was honest with himself, he didn't really want to go home or be away from Sebastian yet, either. Suddenly Kurt flashed into his mind again. "Um. I kind of already have plans. I'm supposed to have dinner over a friend's house."

"We don't have to stay too long. I can drop you off in time if you want."

Blaine thought for a second. He saw Kurt every day without fail. He wasn't ever given the chance to spend time with other people. He didn't want to go home. The journal was home. Kurt would he there alone with him. He wasn't sure he was ready for that. "I'll have to ask my mom, but sure. I can have dinner at his house some other time."

"Yeah?" Sebastian's face lit up. "Awesome."

It took some convincing, but Beth finally let Blaine go to Dalton with Sebastian on the condition that he was home by eight o'clock.

When Blaine got to Dalton with Sebastian, he put his hood up over his head to burry his face and walked silently. He carefully looked around at his surroundings when people weren't in eye-line. Dalton really was a site to see. It was beautiful in an old architecture kind of way.

Sebastian kept stealing glances back at Blaine and smiling at the look of childlike wonder he held. "Come on, my dorm is this way."

Something about this place made Blaine want to hold someone's hand and run down the hallways or walkways because he just felt happy and free. He pushed the thought from his head because he thought it would be inappropriate to hold Sebastian's hand. He just met him. He felt something similar to when he saw Kurt for the first time, standing in his door way. Like the feeling he gets from being at Dalton, he saw Kurt and felt happy. He did, however, feel it was ironic that on the very day he figures out that he has feelings for a guy, another guy flirts with him with no regard as to what other people might think. Blaine liked Sebastian's confidence and comfortability with himself. He felt that maybe he could learn that from Sebastian. It was already because of Sebastian that he was doing things he hadn't. He normally wanted Kurt by his side because Kurt knew how to handle him, but this was different. It was new and… exciting?

Sebastian lead him into a building named Crathern. He explained that all the Warblers lived here. When they got to a second floor room, Blaine looked around as he took his jacket off. "You live here alone?"

"Yeah," Sebastian answered. "Perk of having rich parents that don't want to listen to me whine about having a room mate. So what do you want to do?" He took Blaine's jacket from him and slung it over his chair.

"I don't know. What do you usually do?"

"Listen to music. Hang out with the guys. Sneak out and go to a bar."

"A bar?"

Sebastian laughed. "Yeah." he scratched his head. "But don't tell anyone. No one knows."

"What kind of bar?"

"The kind where men dance with men and women dance with women." There it was again, his comfortable smile.

"Oh… Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are you gay?"

Sebastian chuckled again. "Aren't you?"

Blaine just looked back at Sebastian in awe. He'd never thought about it like that. He had feelings for Kurt, he was attracted to Kurt, hell, he found this guy attractive. Did that make him gay? "I-I don't know."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I was flirting with you earlier. Does that bother you? I'll stop." Sebastian really did look concerned.

Blaine thought about it for a second. "N-no." He paused as Sebastian looked at him warily. "No it doesn't bother me. I kind of liked it actually." He was blushing and he tucked his chin into his chest, not being able to look Sebastian in the eyes as he said it. "It was nice. I was flattered."

"Okay then." He continued to smile and went over to his bookshelf. He pulled out a yearbook from the previous year and started flipping the pages. He stopped at the picture of last year's Warblers and turned the book around toward Blaine. "Do you know any of these guys?"

Blaine took the book and recognized the picture. He had the same one in the album Kurt, Mike, and Tina made him. "Kurt must have cut this picture out of his own album. That's him." He put his finger just under Kurt's face and Sebastian looked over his shoulder.

"He's cute. Not my type, but cute."

Blaine wanted to chuckle a little, but didn't. "He's really selfless and sweet. I yell at him too much, but he just let's me do it." There was a few moments of silence and Blaine looked over at Sebastian who was eying him curiously. "What?"

"Nothing. Just the way you talk about him. I would guess you have feelings for him."

Blaine pursed his lips and bit them into a flat line. "We're close," he said dismissively. "He's been a great help through all of this. I think he might be with somebody though."

"Is he gay?"

"I don't know. I mean, I think so, but the topic has never come up. Although, today I saw him talking to this other guy and he was standing uncomfortably close to Kurt, then pulled him into a hug. More than that. I wouldn't say it was a hug. Um, embrace, maybe?"

Sebastian waltzed over to his bed and sat down on it. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's capital G, but my apologies if he isn't." He patted the bed next to him and gestured for Blaine to sit.

"Capital G?" Blaine asked as he sat down next to Sebastian.

Sebastian let out the tiniest of laughs. "Sorry. New lingo. Capital G-gay. Like, sort of a stereotype. You know, kind of feminine, artsy, emotional, stuff like that."

Blaine turned back to the picture. He pointed to an Asian boy. "Wes. I know his name by face."

"Wes graduated last year. He's not here."

"Oh. Um…" He looked back to the book and started trying to rack his brain for other names.

Sebastian got up and grabbed two magazines from his desk. He opened each to a random page and sat back down with Blaine. "Can I ask you a question? I kind of want to help you with your confusion."

"Confusion?"

"You're glossing over the questions on whether you're gay or if you have feelings for this Kurt person. I don't know if that's you're way of telling me you don't want to talk about it, or if you're insecure and really are confused."

"Well, it's still a new thought to me, but my mother said that if I were, it would be okay with the whole family."

"Okay, well that right there tells me that she already knows."

"I thought so too."

"Is it okay that I'm talking to you like this? I know we just met and all."

"No, it's fine. It's refreshing actually. You're easy to talk to."

Sebastian flashed him another smile. "Good. I like talking to you. Here." He showed him the two pictures of the magazines. One was of a gorgeous model in a bikini. The other was of a male model in board shorts on a surfboard. "Which one are you attracted to?"

Blaine looked at the glossy magazine paper and answered, "They're both attractive. They're models, Sebastian."

"Okay, yeah, but which one would you sleep with?"

"Neither. I don't know them."

Sebastian laughed out loud. "Blaine, you're funny." He closed the magazines and put them on the other side of the bed. "Okay, how about me? If I wanted to, would you let me kiss you?"

Blaine tensed up immediately. His eyes went wide and he blushed again. "I-I…"

Sebastian saw Blaine's demeanor and laughed again, this time clutching his stomach, "Relax, I'm not going to kiss you. It was just to make a point."

"Oh!" Blaine let out a long breath. "Thank god. I mean- not that you're not handsome. I mean, you are handsome- I just- I'm not- I don't-" Blaine mumbled quickly.

"You don't have to let me down gently, Blaine." He laughed some more. "I wasn't propositioning you. What if I didn't want to kiss you anyway?"

"You don't?" Blaine was asking merely for clarity, but Sebastian read it as something else.

"Well, I will if you want me to. Your whole bashful schoolboy thing is super hot."

Blaine blushed again. Something about Sebastian was having an insane effect on him blushing. He felt he'd done that nearly a hundred times in the past couple hours. "I've never told another guy that he was handsome."

Sebastian gave Blaine a look that sent butterflies in Blaine's stomach. He felt he could get used to Sebastian's attention. There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" Sebastian yelled.

The door opened and a boy with a distinguished voice and skin the color of chocolate was standing in the doorway. His smile was just as sweet as the color of his skin. "Hey Sebastian, we're going to be playing Halo in my room if you want to join- Blaine?"

Blaine looked at the boy and a name popped into his head. He remembered him from the photo. He stood to the left of Wes. "David?"

"Wow. James said that he saw you, but I almost didn't believe it." Blaine shifted his eyes back and forth, not really knowing what he was supposed to do or say. "Sorry, dude. Hey," he walked up to him and held his hand out, "David," he introduced himself even though Blaine already stated his name. Blaine shook it. "Man, it is so good to see you again. Wes is going to be so happy to hear you're doin' all right."

"Wes…?" Blaine thought as he spoke. "You and Wes were the head council members and my best friends."

"Yeah." Blaine recognized the hope in David's voice. He had the familiar wishful thinking that his parents had. He was hoping Blaine knew that because he remembered.

"I don't remember. I was just told that."

"It's cool. No worries, man."

"Sorry."

"No. No apology necessary. It's no worries, Blaine. I don't care if you remember me or not. I'm just happy that you're here. Me and the guys miss you like mad crazy. This guy's a good singer and all," David gestured to Sebastian, "but no one's got a voice like you."

Blaine was taken aback. He can see why Wes was a good friend of his. Wes was the first person who was overly enthused to see him and Blaine actually believed him when Wes said he didn't care if he remembered him or not. This was a first. _These Dalton guys are something else_, Blaine thought. They were so comfortable to be around.

"You guys wanna come play Halo? We've got snacks and stuff and we're just going to set up and play and eat junk."

"We?" Sebastian asked for Blaine.

"Mark, Nick, Jeff, Brad, and Matt."

Nick and Jeff rang a bell to Blaine, but he also remembered always getting to two confused. One was a tall, skinny, blonde and the other was a short, muscular, brunette. Kurt referred to them as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum because they were always attached at the hip. Sebastian looked to Blaine to see what he wanted and Blaine didn't know of any reason not to go with David.

Three o'clock on the dot came and Kurt was ringing the doorbell at the Anderson house. Kurt was startled to see Beth answer the door because Blaine was the one to greet him every day. "Hi," he said. "Is he ready to go?"

"Oh. Sweetie, you didn't get my voicemail."

Kurt took out his phone and sure enough he saw the little icon that told he him he had a message. "No. Sorry. Is everything okay?"

"Honey, Blaine's not here."

Kurt cocked his head to the side. "He's not? Where is he? Tina said he had an incident at McKinley today."

"He did. He's fine now, I guess. He met a boy at the Lima Bean and wanted to hang out with him instead of going to your house today. I'm sorry."

"Who was it? Do you know?"

"No, but he went to Dalton. That's where he is now. Some boy named Sebastian took him. He was going to show him around the school and introduce him to some of his old friends."

"Sebastian? I don't know him." Kurt couldn't help, but think that if Henry were the one with Blaine today, he would never have let Blaine go alone.

"Yes, he said that he was new this year, but knew all about Blaine through the Warblers. He was sweet."

Kurt looked both concerned and disappointed. He was looking forward to bringing Kurt around to his house. "Okay. Um, I'll just come by tomorrow then." The more it set in, the more saddened he was that Blaine chose strangers over him. _Maybe we didn't leave things as comfortable as I thought yesterday._ _I was supposed to be the one to take him to Dalton when he was ready._ He also wondered who Sebastian was and what made him want to be around him more. "Here's his homework." He handed Beth Blaine's small stack of work.

"Kurt, why don't you call one of your friends at Dalton and go hang out there? I'd feel more comfortable if you were there with him anyway."

Kurt sighed. He didn't really want to go to Dalton, but he really wanted to make sure Blaine was okay. He could call David because he still had his number and he did tell him a while back about Blaine. Not the whole story, but enough. Maybe David would be cool with him tagging along. "Sure. I'll call David."

"Okay. I'm sorry, Sweetie."

"It's okay. It's what he wanted, right?"

Kurt called David while he was on his way back to his car. "Hey, David."

"Kurt! Hey, man! What's up?"

"Uh, Blaine's at Dalton. Have you seen him?"

"Yeah actually. He's right here. He's playing Halo with a group of us." Kurt thought he heard Blaine's voice in the background saying something to the effect of 'and owning all of you at this game." There was laughter and some other voices saying things he couldn't decipher.

"Oh good. Um, listen, this is going to sound weird, but can I come over and hang too? His mother wants me to be there for him if he gets too overwhelmed or whatever." He was trying to make it sound like it was all Blaine's mother's doing and his over-protectiveness wasn't his, it was Beth's.

Kurt heard a soft whisper, like David took the phone away from his ear and asked the rest of the room if no one cared whether or not Kurt was there. When he heard Blaine's voice he understood that David was really asking only Blaine. "My mom probably asked him to come. If it's okay with you, it's okay with me." He smiled a little when he heard two other voices saying "Dude, I miss that kid. Kurt come over!"

_Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum,_ Kurt laughed in his head.

"Yeah, sure, man. Come on over. We're all in my room. You remember where it is, right?"

"Yes. Cool. All right, I'll be there in a bit."

* * *

><p><strong>Sebastian! See, he's different. Not evil or a villian, just a nice guy who finds Blaine attractive.<strong>

**Also, yes, Blaine thinks Kurt is with Zach and I am resurfacing the jealous Blaine storyline because of Zach. Please don't confuse this Zach with Bluebird Zach because they are different if you remember. This Zach isn't gay and Kurt's relationship with him is based on the closeness they experienced last year. Kurt reminds Zach of his dead twin brother and Zach was Kurt's rock during the Blaine blackmail fiasco.**

**If you didn't catch why Blaine doesn't want to be alone with Kurt, it's because he's jealous of Zach and you know that feeling you have after you realize that you have feelings for someone and you don't know how to be around them anymore until they tell you they feel the same? This is kind of what Blaine's feeling. He's also embarrassed about his dream because he didn't understand it completly or why he had it until talking to Mike and Tina last chapter.**

**I will eventually get to the journal, just right now Blaine is afraid to confront it and he wanted to figure it out for himself. But don't worry :) juicy stuff is in it :)**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Kurt drove the annoyingly long drive to Dalton and walked across the parking lot when he finally found a parking spot in the student lot near the back. _More people have cars this year,_ he noted. He remembered David's room being on the third floor of Crathern Hall so he headed for the grand staircase that led up to the second floor and up another to the third. He could hear the boys from the hallway entrance.

"Go. Go. GO! Damn it! No! Mark, where the hell did you go?" were among the things he could here besides laughter and loud music.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

The door opened. He halfway hoped or expected it was Blaine opening the door, but a tall, skinny, brunette that he didn't recognize, answered his knock instead. "Hi! You must be Kurt," he greeted.

"Yes I am. Hi." He held out his hand, hoping the other boy would just say his name.

"Sebastian," the boy said and shook Kurt's hand firmly. "Come in."

Kurt walked in and immediately the Warblers he once adored so much, greeted him with hugs and high fives. He noticed Blaine was sucked into the game and didn't even glance his way. It bothered him on a level made him question coming at all.

"So how's everything going?" he asked

"Blaine and Mark are the only ones playing right now. The rest of us died already a couple times, so we signed out for a break. Blaine is a master at this game and Mark took off somewhere with his character and won't tell us where he is."

"I'm goin' rogue man," Mark said from a chair next to Kurt. He didn't look up from the screen either."

"Hi, Blaine," Kurt said, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong.

"Hi, Kurt," Blaine got out quickly and continued to play the game. He had his tongue sticking out of his mouth a little and he was biting on it as he blasted a few opposing characters.

"So, Sebastian…" Kurt started. "You're new? What kind of things are you into?"

"Well, the Warblers, obviously, lacrosse, soccer."

"That's a lot. You must be busy."

"Yeah, but that also because I have other lessons too."

"Lessons?"

"Tap, piano, and cello."

"The parents want you well rounded, huh?"

Sebastian chuckled. "You could say that. Piano and soccer are all them, but I always wanted to learn cello since I was a kid. My mom made me do tap when I was little and I ended up liking it and it stuck with me. Lacrosse was something I got into at my last school. There's something about being allowed to throw stuff at people and semi-attack them that is fulfilling. Especially when they're holding in what you know are insults in the locker room."

_Damn it, he's charming_, Kurt thought. "I know the feeling. My friend Zach plays the cello and piano too." Blaine shifted his head ever so slightly in their direction. He wondered if Zach was the name of the tall blonde.

"What are you into?" Sebastian asked.

"Just glee club, really, but I love fashion like there's no tomorrow. If I don't get into the New York Academy or Dramatic Arts school that I want, then I'm going to go for Fashion Design."

"Nice! I'm not much for fashion, myself. I mean, I like it. I like looking nice, but I'm not totally into fashion shows or uber high-end designer clothes. You know? If it looks good, I don't care where it came from. Mostly I just care if my hair looks good. That's my thing, my hair."

"I know what you mean. I go crazy if my hair is out of place. A guy's gotta look good, right?"

"Are you too gonna make out, soon? Clothes, hair, and the arts, every gay guy's wet dream," Mark joked as he stared at the screen with his eyes bugged out.

Sebastian reach out and smacked the back of Mark's head. "Shut up, Mark."

"Shit! Mark! You shot me!" Blaine yelled.

"I told you; I went rogue."

Blaine looked at Mark incredulously.

"Alright, Blaine, my turn. Hand the controller over," Sebastian said, walking up behind Blaine and leaning over him to grab the X-Box control paddle. Kurt glanced away because he didn't like how close and comfortable this stranger already was with Blaine. Kurt didn't even get that uncomfortably close to Blaine and Kurt was, well… Kurt.

Blaine handed over the paddle with a smile and stood up. He scooted between all the chairs and went over to Kurt, but was still looking at the screen.

"Hi," Kurt said.

"Hi," Blaine replied, turning his head down and toward Kurt, but still not looking at him.

Kurt swallowed. "Do you want to go for a walk?" He asked silently.

Blaine was about to immediately say no, that he was happy where he was, but he saw the look on Kurt's face and he felt guilty. He knew Kurt's expression was because he canceled plans with Kurt and didn't tell him. He was having fun and really liked being around these guys, but he now wished he would have given Sebastian a rain check on the visit. Blaine didn't like seeing Kurt sad, but more than that, he didn't like being the cause of it.

"Guys, um, Kurt's going to show me a round for a bit, but we'll be back."

"Are you guys gonna go make out?" Mark asked jokingly again.

Sebastian hit Mark on the back of the head again, taking his eyes off the screen and getting shot at for not paying attention. Blaine blushed and Kurt said nothing.

"Come on," Kurt whispered.

They left and Kurt started walking downstairs. "Where are we going?" Blaine asked.

"Just around. I wanted to show you a couple things." They walked a little further in silence. They stopped in front of a closed door on the second floor. "This was your room."

"It was?" Blaine smiled a little. Somehow, seeing some form of actuality that he once went here, besides a picture, made him happy. He'd only been here a few hours and he already loved it. "Can we go in?"

"Probably not. Someone else lives here now, but I wanted to show you something tangible about being here."

"Thank you."

"It's probably lame, but-"

"No! It's perfect. I was just thinking that- the tangible part. I like it here. It's nice to know that there is a place to go with the pictures. It makes it real."

"It is nice here." Kurt tucked his head down, trying not to let his emotions go unchecked. "I couldn't believe it when you told me you were transferring," he said quietly, yet full of meaning. Kurt put his hands in his pockets and started walking away. He thought Blaine would follow, but he didn't. He stopped and turned back to him.

They stood in the empty hallway, hearing the sounds of sound systems playing, TVs blaring too loud, and boys yelling here and there from their rooms. They stared at each other without saying anything. They way they do so often that it breaks Kurt's heart because he knows that their silence isn't an awkward one. Their silence is loud because they're both screaming out things in their heads that they're too scared to say out loud.

"I'm sorry," Blaine finally confessed.

Kurt looked down at the floor and shook his head to indicate whatever Blaine was apologizing for, was nothing. Blaine walked closer. "No, really. I'm sorry."

Kurt started rocking on his feet. Tears were threatening to burst from his eyes. Blaine saw this and instantly knew what Kurt was holding back. He jumped forward and wrapped his arms around Kurt's middle. "Don't," he said. "Just don't cry."

That cued the waterworks in Kurt because that's what the old Blaine used to say to him. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry; and I'm more sorry for not knowing what I did."

"N-no. Kurt." Blaine let Kurt go and looked him in the eyes. "You didn't do anything. I just wanted something different. I met Sebastian and I got curious about Dalton. My parents never let me do anything." Blaine was being honest, but he didn't say that his explanation wasn't the reality of what happened. It was just a feeling and thought in his head.

Kurt wasn't sure if he should say that going over to his house was something different. He didn't want to turn this into an argument of semantics. "Did something different mean doing something that didn't include me?" Blaine's non-readiness to respond gave Kurt his answer. "Maybe we need a break then. If that's what you want. I can stay away."

There was another silence. Kurt's eyes were rimmed red and Blaine's looked tired. "You could?" Blaine asked slowly. What he meant when he asked was _How_? _How could he stay away?_ Blaine had already decided that it would be impossible to stay away from Kurt, even if it was what he wanted.

"If it was what you wanted." Another silence. "Sometimes I don't know if you are frustrated with me or the situation. I want to help you and make everything better, but you just start yelling at me. I try to be strong. I want to be strong. I'm sorry that I'm crying. I don't want to be boring. I don't want you to get sick of me."

"I'm not sick of you. I could never get sick of you. You're the most important person to me." Blaine got closer, just as close as Zach was to Kurt earlier. So close that he could feel the nerves in his lips starting to flare up. "Don't you know that?"

Kurt sniffled then shook his head. "No."

"Kurt, do you know what I thought last night when you told me you'd understand if I didn't want you to come back?"

"What?"

"I thought about how gutted I'd be if I didn't see you not just the next day, but not ever. You don't know what it's like for me when you're around." He suddenly grabbed both of Kurt's hands and held them. "It's like tripping over rocks and branches and not being afraid because you know that you'll be caught by gentle hands if you fall."

"Then why didn't you want to come to my house today? Why wouldn't you look at me when I came here? Why don't-" Kurt stopped himself. He almost said _Why don't you want to be with me?_

Blaine let go of Kurt's hands and took a step back. He kept eye contact with Kurt for another second and then looked down, partially ashamed and partially embarrassed. He didn't want to mention the pictures and how it made him feel. He didn't want to explain his dream and how it made him feel. He didn't want to say how seeing him with the tall blonde made him feel jealous.

"Is it Sebastian? He is really friendly and kind of charming. Did you only want to be with him?"

"No. I mean, he's nice and you're right; he is really friendly and charming. I like his attention and he's really good looking, but I don't want to be with him. I barely know him." Blaine misinterpreted Kurt's question.

"What?" Kurt straightened up his posture. _Did I hear that right? _"Y-you think he's really good looking?"

Blaine realized what he said and locked his eyes back with Kurt's in shock. He hadn't intended to let Kurt know his new feelings like this. "Yes…" He took a shaky breath. "Don't you?"

What Kurt wanted to say was _No. I think you're really good looking and I only see you._ "Are you really asking me if I think he's attractive or are you asking me something else?"

Blaine licked his lips and his inhale sounded shaky, like he was nervous. "Something else?"

"What are you trying to ask me?"

"Um… I've noticed a few things… and Mark said that thing about _every gay guy's wet dream_… and, well, some other things I guess." He thought about the tall blonde and Kurt in his arms. "So, um… are you?"

"Am I what?"

"G- um… g-gay. Are you gay?"

Kurt kept his expression smooth. He knew this was important for not only them, but Blaine. If they were ever to get back together and be a couple again, this would be the first turning point. They were establishing that they were both attracted to the same sex. In Kurt's case, he was wondering how to get the point across without saying so bluntly, _you can have me if you wanted me_. "Definetly. Yes, I'm gay."

Blaine took in the information he already knew, but wasn't confirmed on until now and thought for a second. Then another thought popped in his head. "Aren't you going to ask me if I'm gay?" It was strange. When Sebastian asked him, he wasn't ready to answer, but here in front of Kurt, he'd answer it to the best of his knowledge.

"I wasn't going to, but if there's something you'd like to tell me, you're welcome to."

"Why weren't you going to ask me?"

"Because I didn't want to pressure you into answering, in case you weren't ready."

"Do you already know the answer?"

Slowly, Kurt started to nod his head. "I do."

"Does my mom?"

"Yes. Everyone upstairs knows, everyone in McKinley knows, your family, and my family; we all know. I know that is a lot to take in, but just so you know, we're all really supportive. We love you just the way you are." Kurt mentally slapped himself. That was the first time he used the term _love you_ to Blaine since the accident. He wanted to say it again, except this time personalize it to _I. I love you_.

"Wow."

"Are you okay?"

"Well… It's just that I thought all along that there was a secret that everyone was keeping from me. Now I kind of feel like this was it. Was it?"

"One of them." Kurt felt he should be honest about this, since Blaine knew now. The last thing he wanted was to alienate him. "I should tell you that I was the one who asked everyone not to tell you."

"Why?"

"Because this is something that no one can tell you. Being gay is a what, it's not a who. It's what you are, not who you are. It doesn't define you. It's not like you can't run because you're gay. Or, you're better at decorating a room because you're gay. It's more like a birth rite." Kurt liked to think of it that way. As a birth rite and not an affliction. An affliction needed defending and a birth rite was something special. Kurt didn't see the point in defending something that wasn't wrong.

"I still haven't said it out loud."

"Have you said it to yourself?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I think I only just realized it recently and am just now coming to terms with it."

"Are you okay with it?"

"Yeah." Blaine thought of his dream and how wonderful it felt to be in Kurt's arms, no matter what the situation. "I'm perfect with it."

"Even though you haven't said it, just so you know, I'm really proud of you. And you didn't have to deal with this on your own. I could have been an ear."

Blaine nodded. "I know, but thank you anyway." He moved forward again, this time with a smile and hugged Kurt, feeling happy with the moment and what they'd accomplished. Kurt cradled Blaine's head with his arms around Blaine's neck and rested his cheek on Blaine's hair. He missed this. He wondered when this day would come. He wondered when the day or moment would come and he could feel confident in thinking that one day they'd be together again because they both knew they could have each other.

When they let go of each other, they both walked back up to David's room and they rejoined everyone else.

* * *

><p>I really liked this chapter because I finally felt bad for Kurt and not for Blaine. Yes, Blaine is misinformed, but Kurt tries so hard to both help Blaine and hide his own emotions that this scene just breaks my heart. I am very happy that Blaine was able to come clean with Kurt about being gay, even if he wasn't able to say it yet.<p>

Please review!

Tumblr: grace-ryan


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Blaine had to be home by eight o'clock, but Kurt took Blaine home early because the Warblers had practice. They would have let them stay, but Kurt was a New Directions member and he had all of his memory in tact. Both boys walked back to Kurt's car with a smile on their face. After the crying in the hallway, they both had a really good time. Well, it was great up until Kurt noticed just how much Sebastian flirted with Blaine. Most of it was cheesy and meant to be obvious, but it still made Kurt feel awkward because even though Blaine and him weren't together it was weird listening to someone make advances towards _his_ boyfriend. But then again, Blaine wasn't Kurt's boyfriend.

That got Kurt thinking. Now that Blaine knew he was attracted to men, did that mean that Blaine was ready to be propositioned in terms of a relationship or dating? Or was it still too soon for him to be in a romantic relationship versus a supportive one? Either way, he hated the idea that someone else, who wasn't as caring about timing as Kurt was, would try to scoop Blaine up before Kurt could. Because it wasn't like Blaine was unattractive, because he was drop dead gorgeous, and it wasn't like Sebastian didn't make it obvious that he was interested, especially since would purposely touch Blaine at any chance he got. If anything, as nice as Sebastian was, it made him competition. Perhaps even more so _because_ he was so nice.

He came to the conclusion, for now, that when Blaine is ready to date, Blaine would be forward enough to tell the person he wanted to be with that he was interested. Kurt's only problem was that he wanted it to be him. _How do I keep myself in the position I'm in, not get into the friend-zone, and assure myself the future position of boyfriend?_ He had to think back to before they started dating the first time. Kurt reminded himself that they were, in fact, friends once and not always lovers. Though Kurt was always interested and in love with Blaine, Blaine was not always that aware of his feelings for Kurt. It took months and a pet bird to die before Blaine realized his feelings for him.

Even after he told Blaine he liked him and Blaine said he just wanted to stay friends, nothing really changed. Well, Kurt stopped acting hopeful and started acting more relaxed because now he at least knew where he stood. Then, in an ironic twist, at a time he wasn't so sweet, Blaine suddenly changed his mind and said Kurt 'moved' him. Maybe, if he was lucky, it would happen again. Maybe all he had to do was just be himself and keep making Blaine feel comfortable and things will fall into place.

His doubt came from a place where he thought that when it came to Sebastian and his _niceness_, he would make Blaine feel special and butterflies would fill his stomach for sure. The question was, did Blaine want to feel special or comfortable?

He glanced at the clock on his dashboard. Six o'clock. Blaine didn't have to be home until eight. He could probably be out later if Kurt told his parents that he was with him. _Screw this_, Kurt thought. _I'm getting a head start. Sebastian isn't taking him from me._

"You haven't had dinner yet, have you?" Kurt asked, already knowing the answer because he was with him all afternoon.

"No."

Kurt smiled. It was a wonderful feeling to finally have a moment again where nothing seemed to be wrong and they were just them and together. "Are you hungry? We can go get something to eat."

"I don't have any money." Blaine made a face that was apologetic, but mostly because he wanted to have dinner with Kurt and not at home.

"I didn't ask if you had money. I asked if you were hungry." Kurt's smile remained on his face. He was joking, but in all seriousness, he didn't mind paying. He and Blaine always swapped on who paid for dates. _Would that make it a date if I paid?_ Kurt wondered.

"You paid for coffee yesterday and you drove all the way here. I don't want to make you pay for me."

"Don't think about it then. I don't mind paying." _Think of it like a date,_ he thought happily.

"I really don't want to inconvenience you."

"Do I look inconvenienced?"

"No?"

"I'm not. Now where should we eat?"

"Pizza?" Blaine asked.

"Pizza? You know, in the past year that I've known you, you've never once suggested pizza."

"Is that bad?"

"No. It's just funny to me."

"Oh ok."

"Well there is this really good organic pizza place that makes flatbread pizza just outside of our neighborhood."

"How close do you live from my house?"

"Only a couple blocks. Ten minute walk at most."

"Nice."

Kurt smiled again. "Why?"

"Because when I know how to get there, I can just come over and not wait for you to come see me."

This made Kurt smile wider. He was almost speechless.

"Wow. That made me sound incredibly needy," Blaine emphasized.

"No. It's fine. It's cute actually."

"Cute? I just made it sound like I wanted to come see you whenever I thought about you and, by extension, it sounded like I think about you all the time."

Kurt _really REALLY_ wanted to ask if Blaine did think about him all the time, but he didn't want to push it. "Doesn't everybody?" he joked.

Blaine was blushing. He already knew that he thought about Kurt way more than he thought he should, but didn't want to admit it. "Music?"

"Yeah! We used to sing in the car at the top of our lungs all the time. My ipod's in my center consol." He pulled it out and handed it to Blaine. "Pick whatever you want."

"I found this band on my Ipod the other day. I really like them."

"You always say that."

"I just haven't found anything I don't like yet. I guess I have good taste then." He smiled and Blaine knew he was kidding.

"You know, I haven't heard you sing in a while."

"You and everyone else keeps telling me I have a good voice."

"That's because you do. You don't think so?"

"It's not that. Maybe I'm a little self conscious."

"Don't be. You're amazing." Kurt clicked the lever to signal a turn. "I'll sing with you. Did you find the band you liked?"

"Yeah." Blaine tapped the Ipod for it to play and immediately Kurt inhaled silently, but sharply when he heard the beginning of the song.

Kurt was brought back to a memory as Blaine's dreamy baritone voice wafted into his ears.

**I walked across and empty land**

**I knew the pathway like the back of my hand**

"You're not singing," Blaine quickly stated and Kurt immediately joined in.

**I felt the earth beneath my feet**

**Sat by the river and it made me complete**

**Oh simple thing, where have you gone?**

**I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.**

**So tell me when you're gonna let me in**

**I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin**

**I came across a fallen tree**

**I felt the branches of it looking at me**

**Is this the place we used to love?**

**Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?**

**Oh simple thing, where have you gone?**

**I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.**

**So tell me when you're gonna let me in.**

**I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.**

**And if you have a minute why don't we go**

**Talk about it somewhere only we know**

**This can be the end of everything**

**So why don't we go somewhere only we know**

**Somewhere only we know**

**And if you have a minute why don't we go**

**Talk about it somewhere only we know**

**This could be the end of everything**

**So why don't we go**

**So why don't we go**

**And if you have a minute why don't we go**

**Talk about it somewhere only we know**

**This could be the end of everything**

**So why don't we go**

**Somewhere only we know.**

**Somewhere only we know.**

**Somewhere only we know.**

The song ended and went to the next one and Kurt smiled, closed mouthed and simple, blinking and dreaming of days gone by as he watched the road ahead of him. _Things have to get better from here on out, _he thought. He glanced over at Blaine, who apparently had forgotten that he was self conscious, and looked back at the road. _How could they not?_

"Can we listen to Katy Perry?" Blaine asked after a handful of songs played.

"Why are you asking? She's you're favorite, right?"

"Yeah, but we listen to her all the time and I didn't know if you're sick of her yet."

"I think I can handle listening to her one more time."

"Thank you!"

Maybe music was what kept the old Blaine alive for Kurt. Blaine liked all the same songs his former self did. Little things like that made Kurt think the old Blaine was still in there somewhere; he might've just been on vacation for a while. Kurt wasn't sure if reveling in Blaine's voice as he sang Teenage Dream was a good or bad thing because Kurt knew he shouldn't confuse Blaine singing their old song as Blaine's subconscious telling him that this was something important.

It wasn't until Blaine searched through the Ipod again and put on "Hey Soul Sister" followed by "Bills, Bills, Bills" that Kurt felt he had to say something. "Okay, is there something in particular that is making you pick these specific songs?"

"I like them. Why?"

"These are all things that the Warblers sang."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You didn't know?"

"No. Well, Hey Soul Sister I knew because I saw the video of us singing this at Sectionals last year. But the others… Seriously?"

"Seriously. It's eerily creepy how you just picked those ones out to sing."

"Creepy?"

"Not bad. Just mind boggling."

"I don't know. Do you remember me saying that some songs are easier for me to learn? Like sometimes I know the tune before I've heard the song. More recently it feels like I know the words, kind of. Like I get a déjà vu feeling as I'm hearing it. It's only for certain songs though. It happened for these songs that way. I knew Bills Bills Bills immediately."

"Did you start jumping on furniture?" Kurt laughed, not knowing what to say about the music thing, but still feeling incredibly weird about it.

"Um… no. Why would you ask that?"

"Because you sort of had a habit of walking on the back of couches, standing on tables and chairs. You liked to jump on top of furniture while you sang. You let the music take you where ever it went. I was endearing and it motivated everyone to let themselves go too."

"I really liked music, didn't I?"

"It was your life." _I was too, but let's not focus on that right now._ He pulled into the pizza parlor and they walked in.

They sat at a table and Kurt sent a text to Blaine's dad telling him where they were and apologized if he brought him home late. Henry quickly sent a text back.

**Henry**: Is he okay? I can't believe his mother let him go after what happened at McKinley.

**Kurt**: Yes. He's better than I expected actually. He's happy. Dalton was great for him and the guys were amazing. I'll tell you more when I drop him off.

Kurt could tell that there might have been a fight between Henry and Beth over Beth letting Blaine go to Dalton, but he had to admit that he wouldn't have let him go either, even though it turned out to be a great experience for him. He decided to send one last text to Henry.

**Kurt: **I'll have him back after we're done with pizza. Don't worry. He's great.

**Henry:** Thanks Kurt. See you both in a bit.

"They put bacon on pizza?" Blaine asked with his nose in the menu.

"We are NOT putting bacon on our pizza," Kurt informed.

"Why not? I like it."

"I look good as a thin person, right? I didn't lose my baby fat and retain this bangin' body by eating bacon and things like the mountain of junk food the guys had at Dalton. Besides it clogs your arteries and I'm already predisposed to heart disease. My Dad proved that to me."

"One pizza with bacon, one time, isn't going to stop your heart, or make you lose your stunning figure."

"Stunning? Seriously, Blaine, who are you?"

They both laughed and looked back to the menu. "What do you want?"

"A Hawaiian pizza would be good if it mattered to you that bacon and ham come from the same animal."

"Do I like pineapple?" Blaine asked as he studied the ingredients in a Hawaiian pizza.

Kurt couldn't stop himself. He tried really hard, but ended up bursting out laughing.

"What's the matter?" Blaine asked.

"Oh nothing," Kurt said between laughs. "I just remembered this one time you ate an entire pineapple in one sitting, threw up, then told me that you were never eating pineapple again. I can't believe I almost forgot about that. It was so funny." He laughed harder at the part he omitted from saying, which was that Blaine only ate the pineapple because he read somewhere that eating citrus fruits made semen taste sweeter and a pineapple was the first thing he saw. He only ate the whole thing because he playfully wondered if eating a lot of citrus made his semen taste that much sweeter. Kurt never had a problem with Blaine's flavor, in fact, he was orgasmic tasting even without trying to make it sweet, but he let Blaine do it just because it was funny.

"That sounds like a really stupid thing to do."

"Probably, but you were like that. Really enthused about a lot of things and not ashamed to do things, no matter how ridiculous they may have seemed. You were unapologetically funny in the cutest way possible."

"There's that word again. _Cute_. You've used that twice in the past hour."

Kurt broke his eye contact and looked down at his menu again. He pouted a little and tried to hide his slight blush. "Well, you are."

Blaine smiled and buried his face in his menu again, his turn to hide his blush. After another minute of biting his lip and wishing his blush away he finally sat up and said, "I want bacon."

"You can't always get what you want."

Blaine smiled wide. "Sure I can. You always give me what I want."

Kurt wagged his eyebrows for his own self expression. "My how things have changed."

"You are incredibly cryptic."

"I want chicken. Is that non-cryptic enough for you."

"Fine. Order whatever you want, but it better be good."

"Because I'll order something gross to eat?"

The both chuckled and the waitress came over. Kurt ordered a chicken alfredo pizza with spinach for the two of them and Blaine surprised Kurt when he ordered two cokes, but said "One regular coke and one diet."

"You know my drink order?"

"Sure. Whenever mom orders take out and you eat over, you always ask for diet coke… and you ordered a Non-fat mocha latte yesterday."

"Your memory's getting better."

Blaine looked at Kurt jokingly annoyed. "I can remember the present!"

Kurt laughed. "I know. I'm kidding."

"Why are you so cryptic?"

"We're back to that?"

"Yeah. It's got me thinking."

"I don't know what you mean."

"You say things like: My how things have changed and I couldn't believe it when you told me you were transferring. It's always things that involve an explanation or an assumption that the other person knows the link to the comment, but I don't. It's like you're saying things like that to either get me to ask about it or make me feel guilty for not knowing. Since I doubt you want me to feel guilty, I can only assume that you want me to ask what you mean."

"Sometimes I want you to ask, but sometimes they just come out and I'm more or less just talking to myself out loud. I'm sorry if it comes off as I'm hiding something from you and shoving it in you face like I know something you don't know."

"What did you mean by: My how things have changed?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Have I ever said no?"

"Okay. Well, our roles to each other sort of switched since the accident. I used to be the emotional, needy; I wanted and often times expected to get whatever I wanted. You gave in every time. You explained that you wanted to give me the world because I made you happy. In effect, my happiness was your happiness."

"Sounds like I was a good friend."

Kurt paused. "You were. You still are. An amplified Blaine, but Blaine nonetheless."

"I don't thank you enough. You're an amazing person for what you do for me. I know I spend a lot of time yelling at you, but that's only because I-" He licked his lips. "I trust you and rely on you. I put all of faith in you and when I get emotional, I lash out at you because I know you won't go away."

Kurt thought about this. It made sense to him. "I know. We hurt those we care about the most."

"I do care about you the most."

Kurt gulped. He didn't know what to say. He was pretty sure his eyes went wide and his throat dried up immediately.

The waitress came and broke their silent eye staring competition when she brought their drinks and pizza.

"So Sebastian seems to have taken a shine to you."

Blaine smiled and huffed his breath out though his nose. "Yeah. He didn't really make a secret of that did he? I think he was just being playful."

"No I think a stranger who invites you over to his dorm after having just met you definitely has more than being _playful_ on his mind."

"Don't be like that. He was nice."

"He was nice. He flirted nicely with you and he nicely touched you every chance he got."

"Jealous?" Blaine was joking, but the second the words were out, he regretted saying them. A flash of who he thought might have been Kurt's boyfriend went through his mind.

_Yes._ "Um…" Kurt swallowed hard. "Do you really think that a romantic relationship is what you need now? I mean, you just admitted you were Kinsey six gay a few hours ago."

"I don't know. I just know that I liked his attention. It made me feel special because he smiled at me and let me know that he was interested in me. It's nice to feel attractive I think. I've never felt like that."

"How come you didn't flirt back?"

Blaine took a bite of pizza and thought. He knew why. He didn't flirt back because Kurt was in the room and he'd rather have been flirting with Kurt. He secretly wished Kurt was the one flirting with him. "I don't think I know how to. Sebastian was so effortless at it. I think I wouldn't be able to be as quick as he is."

"Maybe he a lot of practice?"

Blaine eyed Kurt. "Careful. He's my new friend. I don't want to think that my new friend and my best friend don't like each other."

"I didn't say I didn't like him."

"Uh-huh." He smiled. "Eat your pizza."

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><p>See, it's not always sadness :) Sometimes they can be happy and make them both think that they have a future together, while still not wanting to tell each other that. :)<p>

Obviously the song in the car was "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. However, I did use the lyrics to the Glee version. There's only a difference of one repeat on the chorus in the Keane Version.

**I've decided that I want fan-art for this story. I keep getting so much love for for this and DMTHGF and I'm kind of jealous about the other stories who get it... Can my tumblr peeps please do this for me? Please? even if it's just one person once. My birthday is coming up on the 7th and I'll be greatly humbled if someone does it as a b-day present.**

Please Preview! I love you all!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm sorry this took a couple days to get out. I meant for it to be out yesterday and it just didn't happen.**

**oh! I got a review from Londoner. It was an anon so I couldn't respond, but if Londoner is reading this A/N I wrote a response on my Tumblr. So please check that out and hopefully you will understand why I wrote Blaine the way I did.**

**And back to the chapter :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

"Hey, Dad," Kurt said when he walked into his house after having dropped Blaine off.

"Where have you been? I thought you were bringing Blaine over tonight?"

Kurt sighed, knowing he'd have to explain everything. "I know. I was. That was the plan, but things changed when Blaine met Sebastian earlier today."

"Sebastian? Who's he?"

"He's Blaine's new friend from Dalton. They met at the Lima Bean this afternoon and he convinced Blaine to visit Dalton with him."

"I take it you're not happy with this?"

Kurt sighed and plopped himself down on the couch. He looked like a teen again. "I'm happy that Blaine made a friend and that he's starting to come out of his shell more, but I'm not happy with Sebastian being his new friend."

"What's wrong with Sebastian?"

"He's interested in Blaine… Very interested."

"Is Blaine interested in him?"

"I think so. He says he liked his attention, which I don't blame him, but I think he's pretending not to in front of me because he knows I don't approve. He wants his new friend and his best friend to get along."

"What's wrong with just telling Blaine how you feel?"

"Because I don't want to push him. What if he's not ready for a romantic relationship? He's only been with it for a month and a half now. And what if he doesn't feel the same? I don't know if he'll reject me and then stay away from me because it'd be weird. I'd just be pushing him right over to Sebastian."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I have to find some way to make him fall in love with me again."

"Kurt, you can't _make_ someone love you."

"I know, dad, but I have to do something. I can't just _let_ him go easily. I love him and Henry says that Blaine still loves me and just doesn't know it yet. I have to believe that's true. I have to believe that I can do something or everything in my power to get him back. I need him, Dad. You said at your wedding to Carol that she was everything and that's how I feel about Blaine." Kurt phone started ringing and he plucked the cell phone out of his pocket. A number flashed across the screen that he didn't recognize. His normal reaction was to not answer the call, but since he wasn't completely focused he answered it. "Hello?"

"Guess who?" said a cheery voice on the other line.

Kurt sighed and smiled. "Blaine, where are you calling from?"

"My house! After you left, my parents sat me down and said that if I'm going to be going out more then I should have a phone on me. Isn't it exciting? You're the first one I called."

Kurt flashed a look over at his father, who made a face back at him telling him he was free to go now. Holding the cell to his ear, he walked away and listened to Blaine talk about his new phone.

They were on the phone for almost an hour and Kurt never tired of Blaine going back to the topic of his new phone and how cool it was and how happy he was that he had one and could call Kurt whenever he wanted to talk instead of having to wait until he knocked on the front door of his house.

"Seriously, how do people live without these? I've had this for less than two hours and I'm already having a hard time wondering how I'll cope if it breaks."

Kurt laughed. "It does start to become an extension to your hand after a while. I think I'd have a panic attack if I walked out of my house without mine."

"So, if I wanted to, I don't know, drop by your house, you could direct me, right? Like, as I'm walking?"

"Yep. A phone makes things like that easier. Although, I do believe with the phone you have, you have walking GPS on it."

"I do? How does it work?"

Kurt talked Blaine through step by step of how to mange his GPS and used his address as an example because his house was in walking distance.

"That doesn't seem difficult. This phone is almost like working through an Ipod."

"Yeah, sort of. Hey, Blaine, I really would love to keep talking, but I need to get some homework done and it's late."

"Oh okay. Yeah, I should probably take a look at the homework you brought me earlier anyway and I think I'm going to play with my phone some more."

"Have fun with that."

"I will!"

Blaine's enthusiasm today was very refreshing and a little breathtaking to Kurt. "See you tomorrow, Blaine." _I love you._

"_Talk_ to you tomorrow," Blaine corrected.

Kurt chuckled. "Alright. _Talk_ to you tomorrow. Goodnight, Blaine."

"Goodnight!"

Kurt ended the call with a smile and started digging books out of his school bag. A full hour passed and he was reading his literature homework and answering questions as he went along about the chapter; his phone rang again. _Blaine._ He smiled. "Do you have another question or did you just miss the sound of my voice?"

"Go out to your car."

"What? My car? Why?"

"Just do it." Kurt could hear a bit of giddiness in his voice.

"Um… okay…"

"Okay, bye!"

Kurt heard the phone go quiet and he stared at the screen curiously. "Please tell me he's not sitting on the hood of my car at," he check his clock, "10:24 at night." He stood up, pushing his books to the side. "His father would kill me." He marched downstairs, slipped his shoes on, put on his jacket and turned the outside light on. When Kurt opened the door, he could feel the brisk coolness of the November night. He shivered.

His eyes immediately went to his car that was parked in the driveway. No Blaine. _Thank God, but now what?_ Kurt didn't see anything or Blaine, so he was about to go back inside, but he remembered Blaine's instructions were to go _to_ his car, not to stand on the porch and look at it. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's cold. What am I doing out here?" he asked himself aloud." It wasn't until he got closer, he realized that something was on his windshield.

Kurt approached his car and saw a piece of paper taped to the glass. He carefully peeled it off, the glass freezing his fingers.

The paper looked like it had been torn out of a medium sized notebook. It had hand written writing on it front and back and a date on it. "November 8th, 2010. Dear Journal-" Kurt stopped reading and gasped. He knew what date that was. November 8th was the day he met Blaine. He flipped the page over and Blaine's name was signed on the bottom.

He immediately grabbed his phone and pressed SEND on Blaine's new number. After one ring, he heard music playing off in the distance, When Kurt realized it was a ringtone he snapped his head up and looked around. Sitting on his porch steps was Blaine, holding his phone, bundled up in a pea-coat, beanie hat, scarf, and smiling.

"Oh. My. God!" Kurt rushed up to Blaine. "What are you doing here? Do you know how much trouble you're going to be in? How badly your dad's going to rip my head off?"

Blaine just smiled. He looked so proud of himself. "I found it. I felt adventurous after today and I found your house all on my own. Well, not all on my own; the GPS helped, but I made it! Cool, huh?"

"B-blaine." Kurt shivered and accidentally stuttered. "It's past ten o'clock."

"Aren't you happy to see me? I went out… on my own. I feel weightless." Blaine's breath was seen in the cold air. His teeth started chattering. "Also, I feel cold."

Kurt rolled his eyes again. "God. Come on, but be quiet. Everyone's in bed."

Both boys went inside and dumped their coats and shoes at the door. They tip-toed to the kitchen and Kurt put a kettle on the stove. "Want hot chocolate?" Blaine rubbed his hands together and nodded. He had taken to laying the journal paper flat on the counter top.

"Where did you get that?" Kurt asked.

"I found it."

"Just the one entry?"

"No. I found the whole journal. I hadn't read anything in it, but after today, I wanted to read something, anything, about my time at Dalton. I didn't want to read too far ahead because I think I'm not ready to know everything yet, but when I flipped through pages I was looking for names like David and Wes, or even you. I saw your name about a quarter of the way into the book when I was fanning the pages and it took some convincing, but I read it. I wanted to show it to you."

"Blaine, I can't read this. This is private."

"But I wrote it and I'm giving you permission. I _want_ you to read it."

Kurt sat down and reluctantly read the journal entry.

November 8th, 2010.

Dear Journal,

I met a guy on the staircase today. He's from another school and I feel obligated to help him. No. Obligated is the wrong word. I want to help him. His name is Kurt. There's something about him. Something different. He got my attention in the stairs when I was on my way to an impromptu Warbler Performance and he asked what was going on. He's beautiful. That was my first thought. I'd never thought another guy was beautiful before. Handsome, yes. Hot, yes. But beautiful,this was a first. I feel a pull to him that I can't really explain. That's why I want to help him. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

At first we all thought he was a spy from another school, mainly because of his outfit that had an attempt at our Dalton uniform, but it wasn't even close. David said that is was sort of endearing because of how bad a spy he was. I didn't want to admit it to him, but he's right. It was sort of cute… until I saw what was hiding behind his eyes. He was so… I don't know. In awe of how everyone kind of worked together and got along that you could see his anguish.

He's being bullied at his school and doesn't know what to do. Looking at him and hearing him speak, I can't see why anyone would want to crush his spirit. After speaking with him for a long time, I can only say that he's amazing. I gave him my number and I hope he calls. I already can't get him out of my head. I want to see more of him.

-Blaine

Kurt stared down at the paper. It wasn't anything that he hadn't heard before. He knew how Blaine felt about their first meeting. But to see it written down on the pages of Blaine's private thoughts made it seem just as sweet as the first time Blaine said it. Though, the basis of the entry was sad, Kurt smiled and his only that was: _He thought I was beautiful from the moment he saw me._ Blaine's biggest thing about describing Kurt had always been mentioning that Kurt was beautiful. Seeing Blaine's words, it was almost like hearing it again.

Kurt looked up at Blaine and handed the piece of paper back to him. "Thank you."

Blaine folded it and put it in his pocket. "So that's how we met?" he asked. "On a staircase? You were spying on the Warblers?"

Kurt went over to the stove and took the kettle off the burner before it could whistle. "Yes." He was still smiling as he remembered it. "I was a different person back then. I wasn't happy." He poured the water into two mugs and stirred the coco powder and hot water with a stick that had a chocolate covered marshmallow attached to it. Kurt turned around and put the mugs on the island and sat down on one side, while Blaine sat on the other.

"How come you never told me? We've talked a lot about how close we are and you only mentioned meeting me at Dalton, but never said more than that."

"I feel a little protective of my memories."

"But you're protecting memories of me. Wouldn't you want to share them with me?"

"Not all of them."

Blaine took a sip of his hot chocolate. "Why?"

Kurt cupped his hands around the mug, warming them with the heat coming off of it. He wanted to tell him. _I'm afraid to tell you everything because I'm afraid you aren't ready to know and I'm more afraid that you won't like what you hear. I want to tell you that we were in love and I still love you, but I'm afraid that you will reject me._ Kurt took a deep breath and started slowly. He had to start trusting that things will work out no matter what the timing. "I'm… I'm afraid. I don't want to tell you something that you don't want to hear or don't like. You were perfect and more than just your faults." He paused and bit his lower lip. "I don't want to hurt you, or more so; I don't want to disappoint you."

Blaine fluttered his eyes as he took in what Kurt was saying. After the emotional couple of days they had together, Blaine had never felt closer to Kurt. He thought that maybe he understood now why Kurt was so guarded with Blaine's past. _He's not just protecting me; he's protecting himself._ From what, Blaine wasn't sure, but he sense an emotional attachment, a much stronger one, than he'd felt from him before. Blaine reached his hand forward and covered Kurt's hand on the side of his mug. "You're not going to hurt me."

Kurt looked down at their touching hands. The warmth in Blaine's touch was comforting.

"Tell me something. When you think about our past, why do you always look sad?"

Kurt took a deep breath and looked back at Blaine. "I want to show you something." He made motion to stand and Blaine stopped him by standing in his way. Kurt almost ran into him.

"Stop avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you. I want to show you something."

"You're avoiding my question. Kurt, you spend all this time worrying about me and looking out for me, but you're not taking care of yourself. Look in the mirror once in a while, Kurt. You may look impeccable, but I can see your pain. I can see how much, what happened to me hurts you. You're guarded and you're hiding something from me to protect yourself. I know it."

Kurt gulped, but didn't answer.

"Okay, fine." He took a step back. Blaine was getting mildly aggravated, but he was done having these emotional spells with Kurt. He'd apologized and rationalized and did everything he could think of over the past month and a half, but Kurt kept shutting him out. Above everyone else, he wanted Kurt in his life. He couldn't imagine Kurt not in his life, but he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't be in competition with whatever it was Kurt was holding inside. Then Blaine thought of the tall blonde. Where did he fit in all of this? "I'm here. I came here all by myself. You and I had a great evening and I came up with this idea to come here and do what I thought was an incredibly sweet gesture of giving you what you wanted: a piece of my old self. We've been over this before. You keep shutting me out. It's my life and my memories and my past. You make it really hard for me sometimes."

"Blaine, I-"

"Forget it. I'm going home before my parents notice I'm gone."

Kurt could see how badly Blaine was taking this. Kurt felt worse for doing both of what he said he was afraid of doing. He'd both hurt and disappointed Blaine. "Blaine, please. Don't leave like this."

"This isn't my fault, Kurt. You screwed this up." He started to walk away, then turned back around when he reached the kitchen table. "You know, for a split second, I thought that maybe I could kiss all our problems- wait. Sorry- _You're_ problems away." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope he had sticking out of it. Blaine dropped it on the table top, it made an audible sound when it hit the table. "But that could never happen could it? At least, not _again_, right?" Kurt looked at him curiously, not knowing what he meant.

_Stop him!_ Kurt screamed in his mind. His body didn't follow his minds orders. Instead he stood there, unmoving, and watched Blaine walk away. A minute passed and he heard the door close. Kurt's breath hitched, but the tears didn't come. "Fuck," he said out loud. "What is wrong with me?" Kurt couldn't stop himself from berating himself, but couldn't bring himself to run after Blaine. He knew that's what he should do. What he should have done, but his body just wouldn't make the motions to do so.

He took a few steps forward and covered the envelope on the table with his right hand. _What did he mean: Kiss my problems away… again?_ He picked up the envelope and opened the lid. Photographs.

Kurt took out the pictures and flipped through them one by one. His natural instinct was to smile at them because the memories tied to those pictures (and he remembered every one) were so happy, but he couldn't smile right now. He started to flip through them slower when he came to one of him sleeping. He went to the next one, then the next. He remembered these. He wondered if Blaine knew Kurt was naked under the sheet. He wondered if Blaine knew that he was naked when he took it.

Kurt flipped again and gasped. He covered his mouth and stared at the photograph. They were kissing. He stared and stared and couldn't move. He flipped through the rest very quickly and the rest of the photos were all of Kurt and Blaine kissing. When he was finally able to move, he grabbed his phone and dialed Blaine's number. It rang once before going straight to voicemail. He called again. Same outcome. Voicemail. He called again and again. After five calls and five ignored attempts, Kurt finally left a frantic voicemail message. "Blaine. Please call me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We need to talk about these. I mean it. We really need to talk. Please call me. I'm sorry. Blaine. Please."

He waited about thirty seconds and called again. The tears finally came. "Blaine please! I am so sorry. I'll do anything. I'll tell you everything. Please call me. I am so sorry. I need to explain these pictures. Please. Pllleeease, Blaine." Kurt called and called many times, but Blaine never picked up. _Where had these photos been hiding? How long had Blaine known about them? What am I going to do? I just ruined everything._


	14. Chapter 14

**I didn't spend a whole lot of time editing this ,so sorry if there are too many mistakes for your liking. I was more concerned with getting the chapter out and then sleeping (I've been awake for 24 hours now) than getting out a perfect chapter to you. Cause I know how much you want the chapters sooner than later. :) Love you all!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

Over the next couple days, Kurt kept calling and calling Blaine every chance he got. The fight happened on Monday night, but by Tuesday night, Kurt found that his number had been blocked from Blaine's cell phone. He kept getting an automated message. That didn't stop him from calling though. He called constantly, hoping Blaine would cool off enough to unblock Kurt's number.

He called the house phone Tuesday afternoon and Blaine picked up.

"Hello?" Blaine asked when he picked up the phone.

"Blaine, please don't hang up," Kurt pleaded. His plea didn't work. Blaine immediately hung up the phone. Kurt called back immediately and this time Henry picked up.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi, Henry, it's Kurt."

"Kurt, is everything okay? Blaine won't talk to us and he seems really mad at you."

"No. Everything isn't okay. We sort of got into a fight and now he won't talk to me. I think he blocked my phone number from his phone."

"Blaine!" Henry called out. "Blaine, did you block Kurt's number?"

Kurt vaguely heard Blaine's voice calling back in the background. "Yes!"

"What happened?" Henry directed back to Kurt.

"He thinks I'm holding back from him. He's right, but he doesn't like it. There's nothing I can do about it. You and I agreed not to push or tell him about our relationship so soon and everything he asks these days has something to do the fact that I'm in love with him." Kurt didn't mention the pictures because he felt those were private. "Last night he asked a question and I avoided it. Usually it works, but last night he just snapped. Now he won't talk to me and I don't know what to do. I'm doing everything just short of becoming his personal stalker."

"Just give him a couple days, Kurt. You mean too much to him for him to just shut you out."

"What am I supposed to do about his homework? I have it, but don't think it's appropriate for me to stop by."

"I think you're right. You know, I'm supposed to go out for a drink with your dad tonight and watch the game in town, why don't you give Blaine's stuff to him and he'll give it to me?"

"Oh-okay. I can do that."

"So, just give him some space for a couple days and I'm sure he'll come around."

"Okay."

The call shortly ended and as promised, Kurt gave Blaine's schoolwork to his dad before he left. Even though Henry told Kurt to give Blaine a couple days to cool off, Kurt still called constantly. He thought that if Blaine would unblock Kurt's number, then that meant he was ready to talk to him again.

That was Tuesday.

Wednesday came and Blaine was still mad. He couldn't get Kurt out of his mind. The more he thought about Kurt, the angrier he got. He spent a lot of time in his basement because that's where all the work out equipment was. He took up running, and ran until he couldn't stand or breathe. Then after taking a break and regaining feeling in his legs, he'd go back downstairs and start punching a bag that hung from the ceiling. He had his own gloves and everything because his brother said that during is freshman year in high school, he took up boxing. He would do that until his knuckles were numb. He did this several times between Tuesday and Thursday.

By the end of Thursday, he missed his friend. He missed Kurt. He hated himself for yelling at Kurt the way he did and hated that he wasn't giving Kurt a chance to explain after everything Kurt had done for him. At 10:00 on Thursday night he sat staring at his phone, toying with unblocking Kurt's number. He wondering if Kurt had taken the hint or if Kurt was still calling, just in case. He wanted to talk to him, but at the same time he didn't because he thought nothing would change.

_He'll still shut me out and not tell me what I want to know. He'll still make excuses about why he won't tell me anything and we'll both cry and I'll buy into whatever he said and it'll start all over again._

Blaine decided to wait out another day and see how he felt the next day.

Friday morning came and he was waken up by his mother. "Wake up, sweetheart." He could feel the sun shine on his face and he squinted. "Come on, we have stuff to do today."

"What?" He rubbed his eyes.

"For starters, you smell. So go take a shower. Then we're going to run some errands. You are going to come in with me today. And then we're going to the doctor's. You have an appointment."

"I didn't know I had a doctor's appointment." He sat up, still rubbing his eyes and itching his head.

"I know, I made the appointment this morning."

"What's it for?" Blaine was a bit taken aback by the tone in his mother's voice. It wasn't harsh, but it was a little on the demanding side. He wasn't used to it.

"I've been doing some research and talking to specialists on your condition and feel that you need a little help."

"Help?" Blaine opened his eyes completely now, but was furrowing his brows. "Like support group kind of help?"

"No. Not exactly." Beth sat down on the corner of Blaine's bed and looked at him more comfortingly. This was what Blaine was used to. "I'm worried about you, honey. I understand why you're frustrated and upset all the time, but I think you might need to talk to someone more versed in your condition."

The word 'therapist' popped into Blaine's head. "You want me to go see a therapist?"

"More like a psychiatrist, but yes. You were progressing when you had Kurt to talk to, but since you're not talking to him anymore, all you're doing is moping and being angry. I swear, if you spend any more time in that basement, your muscles are going to explode and you're hands are going to break from punching that bag so hard."

"I don't want to go see a psychiatrist," Blaine said through his teeth.

"See? Angry. You're always angry. At least, when Kurt was around you talked to someone. You refuse to talk to your father and me, so what else can we do? We want to help you, Blaine. We love you and we don't want this life for you. I'm pretty sure you don't either. Aren't you tired of being angry all the time?"

Blaine clenched his jaw and released the tension. After taking a large breath he looked back at his mother. "Yes." He closed his eyes and only saw Kurt. "Alright, let me get up. I'll take a shower."

"Thank you, Blaine. I know this isn't easy for you or anyone else, but we really are trying our best, even if it's not enough."

After the appointment with the psychiatrist and answering his questions over a span of 50 minutes, he was prescribed a medication that the Dr. explained was an anticonvulsant. Blaine thought this was weird because he hadn't had a seizure before, but the Dr. explained that anticonvulsants are commonly prescribed to people taken after traumatic brain injury because they're are used to prevent seizures, but also to help decrease irritability and headaches, improve frustration tolerance, and stabilize mood swings. He took the prescription and walked out with his mother.

"What do we have to do for errands?" Blaine asked in the car.

"Bank, pharmacy, grocery shopping, dry cleaners, and I need a new pair of shoes. Also, we're going to go pick up your homework personally."

"At McKinley?"

"Yes."

"But…" _Kurt's there._ "What about the kids? What if they crowd me again?"

"Blaine, I'm sorry if you don't like this, but you're father and I are going to be a bit stricter with you. Up until we've pretty much let you do whatever you wanted because everything was new, but you're seventeen and you're getting out more now. You wanted to go to school. We're letting you do that. Now we're forcing you to be stronger. You're not a little kid. You can buck up and act like every other seventeen year old."

Blaine thought. There was something burrowing in his mind since Monday. "What if I don't want to go back to McKinley?"

"Blaine, don't be silly, you're a semester away from graduating. You're going to school."

"No. Not that. What if I don't want to go back to McKinley to graduate. What if I wanted my last semester to be at Dalton?"

"What's the difference?"

_Kurt._ "The people. McKinley is overwhelming, but the guys at Dalton are calm and supportive. I feel comfortable there."

Beth paused. "Dalton cost money."

Blaine didn't want to seem selfish and rude by pointing out that his family had no shortage of funds. "Wouldn't Dalton look better on a transcript when I apply to college?"

"I'll talk to your father about it, but until then, we're going to McKinley to pick up your school work."

"Okay." Blaine was pleased, thinking that maybe he had a chance at going back to the school of his choice. _Dad went there after all. He must have a preference for it._ Blaine thought. "I know you told me that I had to go inside all those places with you, but can I please just go to the Lima Bean and get picked up before we go to McKinley?"

"No. I told you that you're going into all those place with me."

"I get you're forcing me, but please? I went to the psychiatrist and I'm going to McKinley, when I don't want to do either. Can I please just sit in a café for a couple hours?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Thank you."

Beth took her eyes off the road for a second and smirked at her son. "You're lucky you're cute."

Blaine smiled and they pulled up to the Lima Bean. He was thankful that this time he brought his Ipod. Beth gave him her credit card and said she'll call him when she was on her way to pick him up.

Blaine went inside and picked up a magazine before getting in line. He ordered a medium drip and because he hadn't eaten yet, he ordered a bagel with cream cheese. The barista wasn't the same person as the barista who served him on Monday, which he was thankful for. This one was a middle aged male who didn't care about conversation. He paid for his order and when it was ready, he sat down in the same seat he did earlier that week.

An hour later, he was flipping through his magazine for the third time, bopping his head to the music coming out of his Ipod. It was 1:30. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a pair of shoes and he followed the shoes up to look at the face of Sebastian. He hadn't noticed him come in or walk up to him. He smiled up at Sebastian and took the ear buds out of his ears. "Do you live here or something?" He asked sarcasticly.

Sebastian smiled back and sat down in the chair across from him. "I have the last period of the day off and on Fridays I like to come here. What are you doing here?"

"Waiting."

"For me?"

Both Blaine and Sebastian laughed. "No. Although it is an added bonus." Since they met on Monday, Sebastian and Blaine had been talking online and Blaine had grown comfortable with Sebastian's minor flirtations.

"So, what are you doing tonight?"

"Um, probably sparing with a punching bag, working on some homework, having dinner with my parents; it's going to be crazy! I can't wait to pass out from so much fun."

Sebastian smiled widely. "How about a movie instead?"

"A movie?"

"Yeah. Maybe dinner beforehand? There's a party tonight in my dorm. We can stop by there and say hi some people before or afterwards… If you want."

"Oh." Blaine's eyebrows raised and his lips stayed in the same 'o' position from talking. "Just the two of us?" He wondered if he was being asked out on a date.

Sebastian stayed silent, but nodded as he smiled tenderly. He was actually a little nervous because wasn't sure if Blaine would agree to a date.

"Um…" He licked his lips, nervous to say yes, yet not really wanting to say no. "Okay. Yes. I-I'd love to."

"You would?"

"Yeah. It's a… date, right?"

Sebastian's smiled faded and he looked worried. "Yes. I mean- only if you want it to be. We can go just as friends if you want. I don't want to ruin this if you're not interested," he blurted out quickly.

"Oh no! I'm… I'm interested." Blaine surprised himself by admitting that. He hadn't actually known he was interested until this moment.

Sebastian smiled softly again. "Okay. Great. I'll um… You don't drive, right?"

"No."

"Okay. No problem. I'll pick you up. Here." Sebastian grabbed a napkin and wrote his phone number down. When he slipped it across the table, Sebastian grabbed another napkin. "Write your address down and I'll GPS how to get there." Blaine did as asked and smiled simply as he slid the napkin back over to Sebastian. "I'll pick you up at, let's say, six-ish?" Blaine nodded fervently. Sebastian smiled again, lost in Blaine's expression and charming good looks. "See you at six then." He stood up, waiting for a goodbye of sorts.

"Where are you going?" Blaine asked, sucking on his lower lip, hoping that he didn't seem too needy. "You just got here."

Sebastian chuckled. "I need to primp and pick out an outfit. Also, I need to make dinner reservations, put gas in my car, and figure out what movie we're going to see. Do you have any preference on movies?"

Blaine thought for a second. The movies he watched with Kurt were either musicals or law related. "Um, an action one that has nothing to do with courtrooms would be great." He wanted to get as far away from thinking of Kurt on his first date as possible. He missed his friend and yes, he probably still had feelings for him behind his anger, but he felt it was inappropriate to be thinking of one person when you're on a date with another. He did enjoy Sebastian's company after all; he might as well enjoy time with someone who isn't going to shut him out and keep secrets. "I thought you weren't into fashion," Blaine stated, remembering what he overheard him say to Kurt on their first meeting.

"I'm not usually, but when I want to impress a hot guy, I tend to spend more time on the thought that goes into my outfits. If I'm going to be your arm candy, I should look the part, right?"

Blaine was in awe at what Sebastian just said. Sebastian made it seem that Blaine was the better looking and the one that needed impressing. "You don't need to impress me." His eyes flickered around, feeling his ears turn pink. "And you don't need to pretend to be arm candy…" he paused, now not being able to make eye contact at all. "You're already sweet enough to give me a tooth ache." He was blushing so hard that he was sure he felt the skin on his chest burning. Blaine finally looked up after a very long minute went by of silence. He slowly brought his eyes up and caught Sebastian's eyes. He was beaming so bright that his eyes were smiling.

"S-so I'll see you at s-six," Sebastian stuttered out with a smile. He really did smile a lot, something Blaine liked. Blaine thought Sebastian had a wonderful smile. He had perfect features for the kind of smile he had.

"Okay, bye."

Sebastian waited another thirty seconds and left. Blaine's mother picked him up fifteen minutes later. Blaine got into his mother's car and stared ahead with a silly expression, not saying a word.

Beth kept glancing back and forth from him to the road. "Must have been some cup of coffee to get you to make that face?"

Blaine was broken from his reverie. "Huh?" he asked.

"Your face. You look like you just got another phone."

Blaine blushed slightly. "Oh." He giggled. _I fucking giggled._ "Yeah." Blaine rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. "I have a date tonight."

"A date?" Beth's eyebrows raised in surprise and curiosity. "With whom?"

"Sebastian. He was at the coffee shop for a short while and asked me." The silly smile came back.

"Sebastian… I see." She pursed her lips and kept her eyes on the road. "Well… what time is this date?"

"He's picking me up at six-ish."

"Oh, so, your father will get to meet him?"

"Yes. I suppose so. I know you met him on Monday, both you and Dad will like him. He's sweet."

Beth couldn't help, but wonder where Kurt fit into all this. She wanted to be happy for Blaine and she was sure that whomever Sebastian was as a person, but she was also sure that after everything that happened over the past year, not just the accident, but everything as a whole, Kurt would always be better than Sebastian. Kurt would always be the Anderson family's first choice. This poor Sebastian boy would never stand a chance since he was taking Kurt's place. Kurt was one of her children, Sebastian was a stranger. She almost felt bad for Sebastian, but then remembered feeling bad for Sebastian was to forget about Kurt's feelings. "I'm sure he is, dear. Where is he taking you?"

"Dinner. I don't know where, but he said something about making dinner reservations. Then we're going to a movie. Do you think you can talk to dad about Dalton while I'm gone?"

"Sure, sweetie."

Kurt was standing at his locker transferring textbooks, binders, and notebooks from this locker to his messenger bag and visa-versa. All week he'd been collecting Blaine's homework and had gone back to his original system of leaving it in the mailbox. Before driving off, he'd always look at the windows just to check and see if a familiar face could be seen from one of them. But he never did. Henry had told Kurt that Blaine waited by the window everyday just waiting to see Kurt. _I guess those days have long passed._

"Hel-lo gorgeous," Zach greeted as he strolled up to him, pinching Kurt's side and making him squirm. Zach had an abnormally cheerful smile on and that was saying something because Zach was one to flash a lot of smiles.

"Why the long face?" Kurt asked sarcastically, ignoring Zach's previous action.

"_I_ finally captained the Titanic, My Friend."

Kurt jutted his chin out and flattened his lips, looking like he would have said 'and…'

"Seriously? I have to spell it out for you? I finally got her. It's been almost a year of trying and waiting and the day has come. I have a date tonight and I spell 'at last' Q-U-I-N-N."

"Fabray? Quinn Fabray finally said yes to a date with you? I thought she was dating Nick?"

"Nope, that ship sailed on Wednesday. Something about her thinking Nick paid more attention to the Warblers, mainly Jeff, than her I guess. Whatever, the only person she has to compete with is you if I can bag her permanently, but even then I don't think it will matter because she loves you."

Kurt wished he cared more, but Zach flew through girls while he waited patiently for a chance with Quinn that it was impossible to be excited for him. Plus, he always thought that he was too good for Quinn. He loved Quinn, but Zach was better than that. "Well, good luck."

"That's it? Good luck? No, what are you going to wear?"

"Zach, you have a closet full of designer clothes that come close to rivaling my closet. I'm sure you can put an outfit together."

"Yeah, but still. What do you say? Come over my house after school and help me out? She's a classy girl and I need input. Everything has to be perfect."

_Might as well. It's not like you have anything else to do. _"Okay. Sure. I have to drop off Blaine's homework, but then I'll stop by."

"Awesome!" Zach almost hopped forward, but ended up bear-hugging Kurt and picking him up.

"Kurt?"

Zach put Kurt down and Kurt turned to see Beth, Blaine's mom standing there. "Beth?" Kurt asked, straightening out his shirt with his hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Sweetie. I know it's only been a few days, but I miss seeing you around the house. Hanging in there?" She hugged Kurt tightly.

Kurt saw over her shoulder, down the hall a little ways, was Blaine. He was leaning against the wall with his jacket hood up over his head. "What are you two doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you." He chanced another look at Blaine and Blaine hadn't moved. His eyes were fixed on the floor.

"I'm making Blaine pick up his homework from now on. No more babying."

"Good for you." Kurt tried, but it didn't come out sounding the way he meant it. He wanted it to sound almost encouraging, but instead it sounded disbelieving.

She looked back at Blaine. "Blaine, Honey, come say hello." Blaine finally looked up and locked eyes with Kurt.

Whatever bliss was in Blaine's eyes back in the car had now vanished. His natural instinct was to run to Kurt and hold onto him. _Nothing's changed. He's still kept secrets from you. He'll continue to keep secrets from you. Nothing's changed._ Blaine stayed where he was, unmoving.

"Oh. Um… well, I'm sorry, Kurt, but we'd better get going." Beth hugged Kurt and kissed him on the cheek. "Bye, Kurt."

"Bye." Kurt watched Beth rejoin Blaine down the hall. They made motion to walk into a classroom.

Zach quickly nudged Kurt hard. "Do something."

Kurt did the first thing that came to his mind because he didn't even have time to think about how to react. "Blaine!" he called out.

Blaine stopped in his tracks and caught Kurt's eyes again. He could see Kurt's pain, but behind him he also saw the tall blonde and that only made the situation worse. Especially since, once again, when Blaine showed up, Kurt was in Zach's arms. Jealousy and longing seeped through Blaine's veins, but he released his clenched jaw and forced Sebastian into his thoughts. _Sebastian isn't a liar. Sebastian doesn't have a boyfriend. Sebastian doesn't make me want so much and then feel so disappointed because I got nothing. Nothing's changed._

"I'm sorry," Kurt said. He was fighting the tears from escaping his eyes.

Blaine bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath. "It doesn't change anything."

_I love you_, Kurt thought. "Please give me a chance to explain."

"You had a month and a half to explain. You had the perfect opportunity to explain many times over. I told you I needed you and while you said you'd help me, you lied right to my face and did the exact opposite. You kept me at arms length and refused to let me in, when I all, but made it perfectly clear what you were to me." He paused. "Well, I'm done feeling helpless and I'm done feeling like I'm not good enough because that's what you make me feel when you shut me out. I feel like I'm not worthy of whatever it was you had with the old me."

"Blaine, that's not true. I only did those things-"

Blaine cut Kurt off. "Just stop. Stop talking and stop calling. I need time and space, so just stay away from me."

"But… Blaine."

Blaine rolled his eyes and shook his head, disappearing into the classroom to meet teacher number one.

Kurt stood there, letting the tears come now, and feeling the familiar embrace of Zach's hand in his.

* * *

><p><strong>Does anything about what Blaine just said (the last part) to Kurt sound remotely familiar? Hmmm I wonder if it will trigger a memory? Hmmm...<strong>

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**


	15. Chapter 15

In case anyone gets confused by the different fonts. Here's a color coded legend/key:

This= regular, present day.

_This= a thought_

_**This= a memory/ journal entry**_

**This= a dream (also a text for one line)**

Also, in light of Tuesday's episode, please keep in mind that my Sebastian and the TV Sebastian are two very different people… TV Sebastian is a bitch and a douche bag, RMRU Sebastian is nice.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

"Blaine." Sebastian waved his hand in front of Blaine's eyes. Blaine blinked rapidly and shot himself out of a daze. "Is everything okay? You seem distracted."

Blaine forced half a smile out of the corner of his mouth. He absentmindedly pushed a noodle around his plate with his fork. "I'm sorry. I must be somewhere else."

"Somewhere good, I hope."

"Not really." He put his fork down and looked at Sebastian, forcing another half a smile. "Here is better. I should be concentrating on here."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not particularly. Don't worry. I'm fine. I just had an interesting afternoon immediately after you left the Lima Bean."

"Interesting good or interesting bad?"

"Interesting bad. I'd rather not talk about it. Dates aren't supposed to be depressing." Sebastian didn't answer; he just smiled a little. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant that this date was depressing. I just can't get out of my head. I'm afraid that I won't be much fun for you."

Sebastian looked like he was thinking. He sighed. "We can call it a night if you want. You're not obligated to make tonight work."

"No. It's not you. I swear it's not you. I'm sorry."

Sebastian smiled a small smile again. "It's okay. I'll tell you what. I'll take you home and when you're ready, you can ask me out. We'll try again some other time."

"I feel bad. You're great and I can't stop thinking about this one thing. I promise I was really happy and excited to go out with you."

"You were?"

"Yes!" Blaine reached forward and covered Sebastian's hand with his own. "Do you know how refreshing it is to be around someone who isn't constantly comparing me to someone they once knew? You're so sweet and I really like being around you."

The corner's of Sebastian's lips turned up slightly. "I like being around you too."

Sebastian paid for the check and drove Blaine home. He walked him to the front door of his house.

"Thank you for attempting to have a good night with me," Blaine said. "I'm so sorry this didn't work out the way either of us wanted."

"Well, it's not the most ideal date, I've every had, but I understand why you wanted to end the date early. But on the plus side, our next date can only be better than this one."

Blaine grinned and nodded. "There will be a second date, right? You're not just saying this for my benefit?"

"I really want one, but just so I don't make myself sound needy or easy, let's just pretend I said 'maybe' and remained mysterious."

Blaine chuckled. "Sure."

There was a pause of silence between the two of them, neither one sure of what to do next. Sebastian chewed the bottom corner of his lip then, in one quick motion, swooped forward and pecked Blaine on the cheek.

Blaine blushed. "What was that for?"

"Just-you know- for being you and I didn't know how else to segue into a good night."

Blaine smiled and let out a audible breath through his nose. "Good night, Sebastian."

"Good night, Blaine." They both smiled once more and went their separate ways.

"Blaine?" Beth called out.

"Yeah. It's me, Mom."

"You're home early."

"I was really tired," he lied. "You know. It was a long day. I think, maybe, that medication the psychiatrist gave me makes me sleepy."

"Oh. Okay. How did it go? Your date."

"Good. I feel bad because I cut it short, but Sebastian was nice about it. I'm probably going to ask him out for a second date."

"I see."

Blaine licked his lips and rocked back on his heels, sensing something was wrong. "You thought he was nice, right? When he picked me up?"

"Oh yeah. He seems like a nice boy. Handsome too."

Blaine still sensed that his father wasn't being completely honest. He replied slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, he is." There was a small silence between them when Blaine finally sat down with his father. "So, did mom talk to you about school?"

"She did. You visited McKinley today. You and Kurt had some words, I heard."

"Yes, but that's not what I mean. Did she talk to you about Dalton?"

Henry tucked in his lips and his facial expression changed, like now he decided to be completely honest. "She did."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well what did you two talk about?"

"You're not going back to Dalton. We moved here so you could go to McKinley. You have one semester left before you graduate; you're staying at McKinley."

"But… I want to go to Dalton. I'm comfortable there. The students don't freak out when the see me."

"Blaine, you were in a hallway with a bunch of teens at McKinley. When you went to Dalton, you were in a room of six or so boys that either knew you personally, or were just meeting you for the first time. I wouldn't call that equal playing fields to compare. What do you think is going to happen when you go to Dalton and the rest of the Warblers see you? Those boys are a rambunctious bunch and they'll be way more excited to crowd you than just some kids who know who you are in a hallway."

"But that's where I want to go."

"Do you know how much money Dalton costs? Do you really think you're ready to go from studying in your room, to a full fledged school schedule? McKinley is at least willing to work with you and ease you in, a couple classes at a time. Dalton won't do that."

"But-"

"No, Blaine. You're not going to Dalton. You're welcome to visit there all you want, but you're staying at McKinley. If what happened to you, happened to me, I wouldn't be able to say 'you know, I would feel more comfortable working for this firm instead of the one I already work for.' No. That's not how it works. You stay with what you have and work at it."

Blaine huffed, not saying another word, and walked up to his room. A half hour later, he thought he heard yelling and he popped himself out into the hallway and listened form the top of the stairs. He was right, his parents were arguing.

"I just don't understand, Henry," Beth stated. "Why wouldn't we want to make him more comfortable?"

"Because that's not the way the world works. I can't believe you want to let him go back there."

"It's not that I want him back at Dalton. It's that I want to help my son."

"Don't you think I want the same thing? Beth, you know who's still at that school."

"Still, Henry? We're still going back to that boy?"

"James is poison and I'm not impressed with how the school handled that entire debacle. Dalton may be my alma matter, but I no longer support that school. I do not want my son anywhere near that kid."

"So this is what it's all about? It's not that you want to ease Blaine into school with something that would make him comfortable, but it's that you don't want him near one boy?"

"Why don't you feel the same way? You know what he did! You saw what it did to Blaine. To our family! Yet, you forget about it like you were the one with amnesia. Do you not feel anything about that whole thing? He has one semester left, he can suck it up and be uncomfortable for a few months, then he'll graduate and we can go from there. But until then, I am not footing the bill so that piece of shit teen can weasel his way back into our kid's life."

Blaine slowly and quietly backed himself into his room. He understood now. Blaine hadn't even thought about James. He hadn't given it one thought. Even after listening to his father rant to Kurt about James. The only thing Blaine saw by going to that school, was a chance to not have to see Kurt. He couldn't handle having to see Kurt everyday and not feeling completely helpless. "I have to move on," Blaine said to himself. "I have to keep moving forward and not get stuck somewhere between past and present." Blaine suddenly had a new understanding for what his father does for him. He was sad that he wasn't going to be at Dalton, but at least, now, he could respect his father's decision. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Sebastian.

**B- You said, when I was ready, I could ask you out this time… Do you want to have a lazy day tomorrow with me?**

His phone started ringing immediately. "I can't text because I'm driving, but do you mean it? You want to spend the day together tomorrow?" Blaine could hear the smile in Sebastian's voice.

"Yes. I'm sorry about tonight and I want to make it up to you. I like you."

"I like you too."

"So, is that a yes? We can spend the day doing nothing?"

"That sounds fantastic."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Two hours after Blaine had made plans with Sebastian, he was wiped from the days events and was in a deep sleep.

"**Blaine, can I talk to you?"**

**Blaine looked up at him with an expression that could only be described as an arrogant 'why?' "Sure."**

**Kurt looked nervous and very confused. He walked Blaine over to an empty corner of the choir room. "Are you okay? You're acting strangely."**

"**I'm fine. A little stressed maybe, but otherwise I'm fine." He said it like there really was nothing wrong. He was acting carefree, but to Kurt, there seemed like there was a disconnect.**

"**Is there anything I can do to help with your stress?" **

**Blaine licked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he was thinking. "Uh, yeah. I think there's something you can do."**

"**Great. Anything. What can I do for you?"**

**Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes, his face holding what looked like a resolved face, a stone cold, serious expression. "You can stay away from me."**

**It took Kurt a few seconds to register what he was hearing. "What?" he asked for clarification. His eyes narrowing and his brow furrowed.**

"**You can stay away from me," Blaine repeated. "And if you want something else to do, you could stop calling me too."**

**Kurt stared at Blaine's face searching for any sign that this whole thing was a cruel joke that they'd be fighting about in five minutes. The corner of Blaine's mouth twitched slightly in an odd moment, but there was nothing else to Blaine's expression. He was serious. He was emotionless and matter-of-fact.**

**The tears weren't coming yet, but Kurt could feel them. "W-Why?" His voice was soft.**

"**I've been spending a lot of time wondering about a lot of things: Why do I miss out on a lot of things with my friends? Why does my father hate me? Why am I always so tired and just barely getting things done at the last minute? There's only one common denominator: you. I've gotten in more fights because of you than any other reason in my life. More recently, I spend more time in classes texting you than paying attention. It would only have been a matter of time before my grades started slipping. I've become so soft being under your spell that it's exhausting. This relationship is all about you and I need to spend sometime with me."**

"**I don't understand. We were so happy this weekend. You told me you loved me. You said it yesterday! And now you're…" He couldn't say the words.**

**Blaine filled in the blanks. "Breaking up with you." His mouth twitched again before his face went back to emotionless.**

"**But we love each other. I love you." He was becoming angry. He wasn't understanding any part of what Blaine was saying.**

**Blaine's face finally showed a crack. He flatted his lips and made his jaw crooked. There was a pause, for what Kurt didn't know, before Blaine straightened his jaw out again and spoke. "I don't care."**

"**You don't care? But we… you and I… what we did…" **

**In a cool tone, almost happy, Blaine said, "Yeah, thanks for that. It was nice." Kurt wanted to slap him. "Come on. Who are we kidding? Kurt we're seventeen years old. Graduation is going to come and we're going to ride off into the sunset?"**

**The tall, slender boy gulped, trying to keep his body from shaking. He didn't know what to say. He was speechless. "It was fun while it lasted," Blaine concluded. When Kurt didn't respond, Blaine turned and started to walk to the door.**

"**Hey!" Kurt yelled, running back up to him. He had moved on to being furious. Blaine looked back to him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? This isn't who you are. Talk to me! Even if you don't want to be with me, you still owe me the truth." There was silence in the choir room. The remaining room of people had turned their attention to the two boys having a shouting match.**

**Blaine stayed silent, he was caught off guard. "Even if those reasons are true, this isn't my fault and you know it. Those are your problems and to blame me is the most cowardly thing you could ever do. You made your choices. And don't you DARE dismiss what we did as nothing more than **_**fun**_**. It was so much more. It ran deeper. I did nothing to deserve this and you're an asshole for thinking otherwise."**

"**What do you want from me?" Blaine's stone cold austere was beginning to falter.**

"**The truth."**

**Blaine took a deep breath and looked away before boring his eyes into Kurt's. "The truth is that I don't want you to look at me, to come near me, or speak to me. I don't want anything to do with you past this concert. As of right now, we're done."**

"**Blaine!" Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm as he tried to walk away.**

"**Stay away from me!" Blaine took his arm back and stormed out of the room, leaving Kurt standing among the open mouthed New Directions and Warbler members.**

Blaine sat up immediately, jolted awake from his sleep. His heart was pounding. What was this? There was something different about this dream. He'd been dreaming a lot about Kurt these days, but this one seemed so real. The things he said to Kurt; _How could I be so mean?_ he thought. Then his heart sank and he remembered something. _I was that mean. Today._ He recalled the conversation in the hallway that afternoon.

"_**Blaine, that's not true. I only did those things-"**_

_**Blaine cut Kurt off. "Just stop. Stop talking and stop calling. I need time and space, so just stay away from me."**_

He palmed his face with his hands. "I'm an asshole." Blaine collapsed back onto his bed and tried to sleep, but long into the morning hours he remained awake, dissecting his dream. What did it mean?

"Why would we ride off into the sunset?" Then it hit him. "Kurt said: _**even if you don't want to be with me.**_" And Dream Blaine blatantly, clear as day, said that he was breaking up with Kurt. "In my dream, we were together. Relationship together. I was his boyfriend and I was breaking up with him. Why would I do that? I was so cold."

The more he thought the more confused he got because he was trying to piece a story together. It felt so real. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something familiar about what went on in the dream. He felt his nightstand radiating heat like it was calling out to him. He turned his head, knowing the journal was in there. "This is ridiculous. It was a dream." He started fidgeting with his fingers and finally caved. He had to know. He sat up, turned his bedside lamp on and grabbed the journal out from the desk. _Don't read too much. Just find what you need and close it._ Blaine flipped quickly through the pages, looking for words like "concert" and "break-up." He knew that if there was a concert to be found in his journal, the event happened sometime before it. Then he remembered something. He jumped from bed and went over to his desk. He grabbed the photo album Tina brought him and started flipping through the pages. He vaguely remembered her talking about a benefit concert that Dalton and McKinley did together and it was a big deal. He went through the book and finally found a picture with a date underneath it.

Blaine dropped the book and went back to his bed and turned to the part in the book with that date.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**The Benefit concert was today. It was by far, the most amazing-**_

Blaine stopped reading. "Nope. It's before this." He scanned the pages before that date, not retaining the information because he was looking for key words and not really reading. He didn't want to know what was in the pages. He'd only hesitate for half a second every time he came across "Kurt," which was a lot.

Then he found it.

_**It's over. I had him and I tossed him aside. Why couldn't I be stronger? I could have beaten this. We could have been together. We could have stayed together. I was so mean. I took what we had together and told him that it was "fun." As if "fun" could possibly sum up or describe what we had. I crushed him. I can't get his face out of my head. Kurt called me a coward. He's right. I am a coward. He loved me and I stomped on his heart. Worse. I shattered it. I could see it in his face. I told him to stay away from me. I told him not to even look at me. He deserves so much more than me. He deserves better.**_

Blaine stopped reading. _It was true. _He shut the journal. "Why didn't he tell me?" His heart sank further and he carded a hand through his hair. "We were together once." He thought back to his dream. **But we love each other. I love you.** Dream Kurt had said it, but it was his voice nonetheless. **I love you.**What Blaine would have given to hear that now.

Was that what this was? Love? Did Blaine love Kurt? Or was it merely friendship and gratitude? "I told him I needed him. I wasn't lying." Images of his dreams from the past week flitted through his mind. Ones where Kurt was holding peach roses, ones where Blaine was crying and Kurt was singing him to sleep, ones where they were covered in paint and laughing. Always Kurt. Kurt in a silly raincoat as he watered flowers in a garden. Kurt smiling, Kurt crying, Kurt throwing a child-like tantrum, Kurt cuddling against a gigantic stuffed puppy. Kurt hitting Blaine's nose with ice cream and then licking it off. Could these all be real? Or were they fantasies? Last Sunday night, the night that started everything, Blaine recalled his dream from that night. Only this time he remembered the first half of the dream, before they took their clothes off.

"**I know **_**he **_**doesn't know it yet, but he loves you too."**

"**He?" Kurt asked.**

"**Me. The new me. He'll figure it out soon. That's why he yells at you so much. He's confused, frustrated, and a little lost half of the time, but mostly there's a part of him that hates what he's doing to you because he knows you would rather be with me than him. So he gets moody really quickly and snaps at you."**

"**I love you both."**

"**I know you do. He knows it too."**

"**Does he really love me?"**

"**Of course he does!" Blaine scooted up to he knees and faced Kurt completely. "Kurt, he and I may have different personalities, but we're still the same person. Memories or not, you're still my soul mate. It's you and me forever. You're free to leave me whenever you want, but I'll always be yours."**

"What does this all mean?" Blaine cried out. _I'll always be yours._ Blaine now knew that at one point Kurt and Blaine were together and he tore Kurt's heart out. "Why would he be here for me after I did that? And he has a boyfriend! No wonder he never wants to talk about anything. I'm torturing him and I didn't even know it." Blaine groaned, feeling the tears well in his eyes. He slapped himself in the face. "I let him sit here everyday for almost two months and I yelled at him, for what? I was the selfish one. I'm so stupid."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Blaine sniffled and held his breath. "Blaine?" The door slowly creaked open. Henry's face appeared between the door and the frame.

"Dad?" Blaine sniffled again.

Henry saw Blaine's face. "Blaine, what's wrong? I couldn't sleep and when I walked passed your door I could hear you talking to yourself."

"Dad, I messed up."

Henry closed the door and sat down on the bed next to Blaine. "What happened? It couldn't have been that bad."

"No. It's bad, Dad. It's Kurt I- I keep hurting him. I can't help it. I don't want to and I don't mean to, but I keep doing it. I don't want to hurt him anymore, Dad."

"What are you talking about, Son? Kurt l- is your friend." Henry caught himself and corrected immediately.

"That's just it. He's my _friend._ He wasn't always, was he?"

Henry swallowed hard. "How do you know that?"

Blaine reached down and picked up the journal. "I found this on Sunday and I've only read little pieces, but everything I read and everything I do now… I'm a bad person."

"Blaine, stop right there. You're not a bad person."

"Then why do I keep hurting Kurt? He's so selfless and kind and never asks for anything in return, yet he keeps coming back after I continuously torture him?"

"He understands, Blaine. He doesn't blame you. He knows how hard this is for you and he wants to help."

"WHY?"

"Why wouldn't he? He means so much to you."

"Dad, I broke his heart. I busted it open and spat in it many times over."

"I don't know what to tell you. I wouldn't cry about having a friend like that. I'd realize what I was doing and change it."

"I don't know if I can."

"I'm sure you could."

"Dad, everything I do… I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't want to hurt him ever again."

"Then what do you think you should do?"

"I can't hurt him if I stay away from him."

"Is that what you really want?"

"No. But he's done so much for me. I need to do this for him. He deserves better."

"How do you know that's what he wants? Clearly all he's wanted this week was to talk to you."

"He'll keep coming back, Dad. He'll keep coming and I'll keep hurting him. And he has such a big heart that he'll come back for more. He doesn't need this. I need to keep away."

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><p>Before you jump all over this and tell me you hate that Blaine and Sebastian are dating... I have a reason and you'll love it, I promise :)<p>

and haha to those who kept yelling that Blaine was going to end up at Dalton because I always planned on him wanted to , but Henry being VERY adament about NOT sending Blaine back after what happened last year.

I know his parents aren't perfect and they're probably messing up more than they're doing good, but they're trying their best and I think that despite withholding information, they're doing okay and I respect them.

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Two weeks passed. Thanksgiving came and went. The weather turned cold. The New Directions won their Sectionals. Blaine started going to one class a day at the end of the day and then staying to pick up his school work from the other classes.

Kurt saw Blaine, but after Blaine specifically saying "stay away from me," it brought up too many memories of a horrible time gone by. Kurt saw Blaine, but Blaine did not see Kurt. He tucked himself away in corners, ducked into classrooms and bathrooms, and turned himself around to walk in the opposite direction. He knew that if he had more strength he'd walk right up to Blaine and tell him everything. He'd tell him that he's sorry he couldn't obey his wishes to stay away and blurt out that he loves him; that he's always loved him and that Blaine loved him once too; as if confessing his love for Blaine would fix or change everything. It sounded so simple.

But he couldn't do it. Blaine rejected him. What if Kurt confessed everything and Blaine still rejected him? He'd never know if he didn't try, but to try and fail would kill him. Blaine gave Kurt no inclination, as far as he was concerned, that Blaine felt the same way. Kurt was his mentor, not his boyfriend. _Not his boyfriend_.

The one thing that made him happy was that he was now able to stay after school with his friends and fellow glee club members again. It was nice getting to rehearse with them again.

"Mr. Shoo?" Kurt inquired, raising his hand."

"Yes Kurt?"

"I know this has nothing to do with our lesson this week, it's actually geared more towards last weeks lesson, but Zach's forcing me to do this. May I have the floor?"

"The floor is yours." Mr. Sheuster stepped aside and took a seat with his students. Kurt stood front and center. Zach got up with him and grabbed a guitar.

"I know I've been in a funk lately and I know you all think you know why. But I haven't actually spoken about it. Anyway, in light of Thanksgiving, Zach has challenged me to find something that I'm thankful for and focus on that, instead of the negative. There are many things I'm thankful for, but when I think about memories and what I enjoy doing that helps me take my mind off of things, while at the same time, keeping me focused on happier things, I can only think of one thing that does that. Gardens. I know that sounds silly, but I really enjoy gardening. If you ever seen Finn and I's back yard, you'd know what I'm talking about. Winter makes it hard, right now, but with Spring coming in a few months, it'll bring new life. I look forward to Spring every year. As luck would have it, I happened to find a song that encompassed what gardens are to me in a way. I'd like to sing it for you."

"Actually, he'd like to mope, but I'm forcing him to sing it," Zach smiled as he concluded.

Zach had just started strumming the guitar and the door to the choir room opened. Zach stopped playing and all eyes went to the door. Blaine walked in with Mike entering before him. "Sorry for interrupting," Mike said. "Mr. Shoo. Blaine's going to be sitting and watching today. Is that cool?"

"Yeah. That's definitely cool. Blaine, welcome. Welcome back. We're happy to have you."

Blaine couldn't keep his eyes from wondering over to Kurt, but he was at least able to control his line of vision and kept his eyes looking to the shoes Kurt wore. "Thank you."

"You're just in time. Kurt's singing for us."

_Shit. Fuck._ Kurt kept swearing in his head. He couldn't believe his luck… or lack thereof. _No. Bad. This is very bad. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK._

Blaine took a seat next to Mike and Tina and kept his eyes fixed on the ground.

"Kurt, you and Zach ready?" Mr. Shuester asked.

Kurt looked behind at Zach, pleading to let him off the hook. Zach shook his head and answered for Kurt. "Yep. We're all set." Zach started strumming again.

Kurt turned back to his friends in their chairs and made sure he didn't look at Blaine.

**I found you in the garden**

**Your hair was thick with dirt and**

**I heard you gently saying**

**I want you to stay**

**I found you in the flowers **

**Your lips were red with wine and**

**I heard you gently saying **

**I want you to stay**

The song had more relevance than his friends knew. The garden was always Kurt and Blaine's special place. Particularly in the flower section among the rose bushes. He had lost count of how much time they'd spent in his carefully crafted garden. "I want you to stay" was one of the many things they said to each other often. Having once been in a long distance relationship, they said things like that a lot. "I want you to stay. Don't leave yet. I miss you." These were sentences engraved in Kurt's mind forever. Just as important as those sayings, Kurt had grown attached to hearing Blaine ask him "Will you come back tomorrow?" He always heard this before he left each evening after the accident.

**Here with me, I want you to be**

**I want you to stay, darling**

**Here with me, I want you to be**

**I want you to stay, darling**

**I found you in the morning**

**Your hands were thick with blood and**

**I heard you gently saying**

**I want you to stay**

**Here with me, I want you to be**

**I want you to stay, darling**

**Here with me, I want you to be**

**I want you to stay, darling**

While Kurt couldn't look at Blaine, Blaine couldn't take his eyes off Kurt. He thought about how sweet it seemed that Kurt and, who he now knew to be, Zach could sing such a personal song together in front of everyone. Then he went back to feeling jealous because Kurt was singing with, and probably to, his boyfriend. He gulped and looked away again when everyone started clapping. He shook himself from his thoughts. A wave of guilt went through him because Kurt had this effect on him, when Blaine had been dating Sebastian for two weeks now. Sebastian was sweet and very patient. Blaine was convinced that Sebastian was too good to deserve someone who couldn't stop thinking about another guy. Although, more often than not, when Blaine was in Sebastian's presence or even talking to him, Sebastian had this air about him that made Blaine focus only on him and all his feelings for the whole Kurt situation disappeared for the time being.

Zach and Kurt sat next to each other with a girl on the other side of Zach that Blaine thought was either Quinn or Brittany. The blonde hair threw him off, but that wasn't what bothered him. He saw Zach's arm resting on the back of Kurt's chair.

Blaine sat through the entire practice in silence and promptly left with Mike and Tina after practice was done.

"You two still aren't talking, huh?" Rachel asked.

"No and I don't want to talk about it."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"About how you feel?"

"I don't know what he does and doesn't know, but I'm still not talking about it."

"He should know. He needs to know."

"Why? Because it'll effect how he feels now? It'll make him forget that I kept so many secrets from him? Rachel, I believe he said it best two weeks ago when he told me that nothing has changed and nothing will change what happened."

"He said that?"

"Not in so many words, but yes."

"Kurt, I-"

"I don't want to know what you think. You have no idea how to fix this or even what I'm going through, so please, for my sake, leave it alone and just be my friend. Go back to telling me who isn't as talented as you and how much better than everyone else you are."

"That's really mean."

"Sorry, but that's the only way I can get you to listen. If I start talking about you then you'll drop whatever topic it is you were trying to talk about and asserting whatever opinion you had on it. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be mean, but I told you twice that I didn't want to talk about it, but you didn't care."

"You need to find a way to resolve this, Kurt. You're snapping at everyone. We all love you, but you're impatience and anger is making it hard to be around you."

Kurt didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to apologize and didn't want to talk about it. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." He grabbed his bag and headed out the door.

"Kurt!" a male voice yelled out to him.

Kurt had gone to his locker again one last time and Mike was calling him. He shut his locker door and turned to Mike, giving him his full attention. "What?"

"Who's Sebastian?"

Mike saying that one name made Kurt give him his full attention. "Sebastian? How do you know about him?"

"I was going to drive Blaine home, but this guy named Sebastian was waiting in the parking lot for him. Blaine left with him instead. Do you know who he is?"

Kurt was almost confused. He hadn't known that Sebastian and Blaine spoke, never mind saw each other again after their visit to Dalton. He hadn't had a clue. "Um. Sebastian is a boy at Dalton that Blaine met at the Lima Bean. We all hung out two weeks ago."

"So he's not some random person who Blaine shouldn't be around?" Mike was growing into big brother mode.

"No. Sebastian is fine. He's nice actually." Kurt buttoned up his jacket. "Blaine seems to like him." Kurt remembered how Blaine reacted to Sebastian's attention.

"Yeah I can tell."

_That's an odd comment._ Kurt looked at Mike abruptly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when Blaine saw him, his face lit up like a Christmas tree and hugged him immediately. He didn't think twice about accepting a ride from him. He just smiled that goofy smile of his and got in the car."

Kurt narrowed his eyes and his heart broke.

"It's strange really," Mike continued.

"Why?"

"Remember three weeks ago when he was mobbed in the hallway? We brought him into the choir room and he started crying his eyes out. We thought he was remembering something, but then he came out with: _Would it make any sense at all to either of you if I said I think I might have feelings for Kurt?_"

Kurt held in a gasp. "He said that?"

"Yeah."

"And you're telling me this now, why?"

"He was so passionate about it that we thought he would have told you himself. He didn't?"

"No."

"Kurt, you need to talk to him. If not now, he had feelings for you three weeks ago and that's pretty substantial."

"But he doesn't want to talk to me. He told me to stay away from him."

"Then maybe you should go talk to Sebastian. If Blaine reacts like that to him then maybe Sebastian knows something. You have to try something, Kurt. This goes way beyond him trying to find out about his past. This is about his present and future. I feel like he has a skewed perception of how things are. You can't leave him to think things through in his head right now. He'll believe anything until he's proven wrong."

"I don't know." Kurt shuffled his toe on the tiled floor.

"Kurt! Didn't you hear me? I just said that Blaine has feelings for you. Isn't that what you wanted? What we all were hoping for, for the both of you?"

Kurt kept silent for a long while. _Blaine has feelings for me?_ "Why didn't he say anything?"

"I don't know. Tina and I just assumed he would have. He was supposed to see you after school that day, wasn't he?"

"Yes… then he met Sebastian." That's when a thought hit him. Maybe Blaine was lying about not being interested in Sebastian. Maybe Blaine thought he had feelings for Kurt, but then met Sebastian and realized that he didn't after all, but didn't want to make a big deal out of it. "I have to talk to Sebastian. You said he was taking Blaine home?"

"I guess so. He asked Blaine if he wanted a ride home, so I can only assume that's where he was going."

"He'll probably stay there for a while. I'll call David and see if he knows anything. Maybe I'll go over there later."

"Good. You need to do this, Kurt. Don't chicken out."

When Kurt got to his car, he didn't know if he should go home, call David, or go straight to Dalton. He settled for texting David.

**K- Hey. Do you know if Blaine has been spending a lot of time with Sebastian these days?**

**D- Hey, Dude! Always glad to hear from you. I don't know if they've been hanging out a lot specificly, but Blaine's spent the entire weekend here at Dalton the past two weekends. Sebastian's always been part of the group, so I guess, but I can't recall them ever being alone. But Sebastian is a pretty quiet guy, so I doubt he would have said something anyway.**

**K- Blaine's been staying there? Who is he staying with?**

**D- He stayed in my room last weekend, but the weekend before he fell asleep with the rest of us in the Warbler room.**

**K- So you don't know if there's anything going on with him and Sebastian?**

**D- Not that I know of. They seem friendly, but it's more like flirting and goofy glances at each other. How come you didn't come with him the past couple weekends? We told him to ask you.**

**K- He and I aren't talking.**

**D- What? Why?**

**K- I kept too many things from him and he told me to stay away from him.**

**D- Is there anything you want me to do?**

**K- No. I'm just curious about Sebastian. I guess… if I can't have Blaine, then I want to know he's in good hands. Or at least with someone with good intentions.**

**D- I know we're not best friends or anything, but seriously, don't talk like that. Blaine is, or was, like a brother to me and I like Sebastian and all, but he's not you. No one is better suited for Blaine than you.**

**K- Do you think I should talk to Sebastian?**

**D- Definitely. Want me to talk to him before you? I can give you the details beforehand so nothing's a surprise.**

**K- No, but thank you.**

**D- Good luck, Dude.**

**K- Thanks.**

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><p>Song: Garden Song<p>

By: Richard Walters

This chapter was kind of weird because I literally discovered Garden Song at 8:30 PM last night, about 12 hours ago, and ended up writing this chapter around that song because it was eerie how well it fit. I'm going to post it on my Tumblr because you really have to listen to it. It's beautiful.

It ended up working out perfectly because I needed a way to get Kurt to talk to someone and this just fell into my lap. I know it's short-ish, but the next chapter will have juicy stuff : )

Oh! And sorry, my lovelies, but I need to take the weekend off because I'm going away. Sorry :/

**Please Review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**


	17. Chapter 17

**It's a short one, but I think this is something that people have been hoping for.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

On Saturday at 11:30 in the morning, Kurt found himself nervously knocking on Sebastian's dorm room door. As if Sebastian was waiting for someone, he opened his door fairly quickly.

"Kurt!" he said with his eyebrows raised. "This is a surprise." He smiled, but Kurt could tell he was genuinely shocked.

"I'm sorry for just dropping by, but you do have a minute?"

"Uh…" Sebastian glanced down at his watch. "Yeah. I have a few minutes. Come in."

"Are you expecting someone?" Kurt came in and shut the door behind him.

"Um…" Sebastian scratched his head. "Yeah. Blaine's coming over."

"Oh…" Kurt's eyes widened and went back to normal size. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"You wanted to talk to me about Blaine?" He sighed and sat against his desk as he crossed his arms. "I was wondering when you'd find your way to me."

"What do you mean?"

"The guys told me about you two. David said you two were a couple and Nick said that Blaine was your boyfriend when the accident happened."

Kurt narrowed his eyes slightly, wondering what Sebastian was doing asking about Kurt's relationship to Blaine, but then calmed when he thought that maybe the guys offered the information all on their own. "Are you dating Blaine?" Kurt blurted out. He thought it would be best to just get to the point.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows again. Kurt didn't think this kid ever stopped smiling, but he wasn't so giving with the smiles today. "Blaine hasn't told you?"

Kurt shifted his eyes down. "Blaine hasn't spoken to me in weeks."

"I see… It makes sense, I suppose. He hasn't mentioned you since our first date. I wondered where you fit in his life."

Kurt overlooked the comment and started again. "So are you… dating?"

"We were."

_Were,_ Kurt thought. _Past tense._ He felt slightly relieved. He didn't know his relief would be short lived.

"But as of two days ago…" He trailed off. Kurt wasn't trying to see that Sebastian was trying to be comforting and slow. He didn't want to hurt Kurt.

"Two days ago…?" Kurt urged forward. He needed to hear the words flat out so that there could be no confusion.

"Kurt… Blaine's my boyfriend now."

Kurt stayed composed, but he felt his heart shatter. If there was one thing he never wanted to hear, despite saying yesterday to David that he just wanted to know that Blaine is in good hands, was that Blaine was someone else's boyfriend. "W-…" He suddenly became confused. He was trying to find the right words.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I know this must hurt. I can only imagine how you feel about him?"

"**Feel**?" Kurt snapped. "Honey, you have no **idea** how I **feel** about Blaine Anderson. Tell me something. If you knew he was my boyfriend during the accident, why did you feel it necessary to move on in and make him yours?"

"He stopped talking about you. You were never around him anymore. I'm sorry, Kurt, but I can't help how I feel about him. He likes me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I'm sure you're an amazing person, but I wasn't thinking about your feelings when I was taking care of my own. I'm not forcing Blaine to be my boyfriend. He likes me and I like him."

"You don't know him!"

"That's ridiculous. You haven't spoken in weeks and he and I talk constantly. I'm starting to think I know him more than you do."

"Really? You really think that? Okay," Kurt said with an attitude.

"I'm not going to argue the point because it's not going to change the fact that Blaine is still my boyfriend."

"You don't know anything."

"I know that he likes me."

"I bet you don't know that his mouth waters when he smells coffee, or that he thinks his teeth doesn't feel clean if he uses any flavor of toothpaste other than mint. I'd be willing to pay money on the fact that you have no clue that the smell of a skunk doesn't bother Blaine in the slightest. Further than that, the combination of peppermint, almond, and green tea turns him on almost instantly, or that his toes curl and then go numb when he orgasms."

"Kurt-"

"Did you know that he used to gel his hair to make it look straight because he used to get made fun of for how curly it was? Yeah. He got made fun of for a lot of things. He got made fun of enough that someone decided it was a good idea to kick the shit out of him for showing up to a Sadie Hawkins dance with another guy. Oh yeah, and he ended up in the hospital then transferred here. You're his boyfriend, so I'm sure you knew that."

"Kurt, stop, please."

"Oh, I haven't even begun."

"You've said enough. I don't need to know his past to be apart of his future."

"How about Blaine? Shouldn't Blaine know his past before he starts a future?"

"If he wanted you in his life, wouldn't he being talking to you and not ignoring you?"

"The fact that you think that's why we're not talking tell me that you have no idea what you're dealing with."

"We have a lot in common."

"You couldn't possibly know that because Blaine doesn't know that. He's been out of his house for almost a month. He couldn't possibly have experienced enough to know more than the basic things that he likes. Besides, if you knew anything about Blaine, you'd know that his interests change as quickly as fashion trends change."

"What do you care? You have a boyfriend. If you really cared so much then you would have waited for him instead of moving onto the next guy."

"What are you **talking** about? I don't have a boyfriend! I've been waiting until Blaine was comfortable to start wooing him again."

"That's not what Blaine thinks. He said you're with a tall blonde."

Kurt thought quickly. _Tall blonde? Sam? Zach…_ He started laughing. "Oh my God. I can't believe this is happening again." He couldn't help himself from laughing. He was tired and upset and angry, but he couldn't stop laughing. Kurt put his pant to his chest and then wiped one eye with the other hand. "Zach is not my boyfriend. Zach is an affectionate, straight, friend of mine, who treats me like I'm his brother." He laughed a little harder.

"What's so funny?" Sebastian finally asked.

"Blaine was jealous of Zach last year because he thought Zach was trying to take me away from him."

"What makes you think he's _jealous_ now?"

"I didn't say that. Blaine has seen Zach hug me and put his arm around me, sometimes even holding my hand. Of course he would think Zach was my boyfriend."

Sebastian looked down at his watch again. "Kurt, I'm sorry, but Blaine's supposed to be here any minute and I don't mean to sound mean, but I'd rather you weren't here when he shows up."

Kurt stopped laughing and swallowed hard. "He'll never love you." He knew it was hard and he knew it was beyond mean, but he had to say it.

"Why? Because he can never love anyone other than you?"

"Because we're soul mates. He spent a lot of time telling me that. There's a pull between the two of us that nothing and no one can touch. I don't think a loss of memory would erase that. You can like him all you want, but I love him. I love him with every fiber of my being." He headed for the door. Kurt stopped at the threshold after he opened the door and looked back. "The doctor said that his amnesia may not be permanent. If he ever recovers his memory, who do you think he'll choose? The guys he likes? Or his soul mate?"

There was a silence between them. Sebastian licked his lips and warily stared at Kurt. "Goodbye, Kurt." There was a sadness in his tone. He knew Kurt was right.

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><p>There's a portion of this missing, but you'll see what it is in a couple chapters. :) hmm secrets.<p>

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	18. Chapter 18

You wouldn't believe my last week! It's been waayyy to long since my last update and I'm so sorry. But here is an extra long chapter.

Londoner, please check out my tumblr plage, I responded to your review there :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

**B- I'm really sorry, but I'm going to be late.**

**S- Aww : ( why?**

**B- I know we were supposed to have a lazy day together, but I need to get something done before I come over. I'm sorry for not texting you sooner. I know I'm supposed to be there right now. I'll definitely be there later.**

**S- Okay. No problem. Do you know when?**

**B- Um. Couple hours? I'll let you know if it's going to be later. I'm so sorry. If you have other things to do, don't worry about me. I don't want you to spend your day waiting around for me.**

**S- It's okay. Don't feel bad. It's fine. Things come up sometimes. : ) I think Nick is having a Halo party in his room. I'll go do that for a while.**

**B- Okay. See you in a little while.**

**S- 3**

Blaine almost felt bad for delaying his date with Sebastian, but he had a good reason. After spending so much time with the Warblers and the kids from Glee Club, he had an idea.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Blaine was at the door of David, one floor up from Sebastian.

David opened the door. "Blaine, hey!" He opened the door wider and let Blaine into his room. "I didn't know you were going to be here today."

"Yeah. I'm supposed to be hanging out with Sebastian today. Kind of a lazy day where we do nothing, but watch movies and listen to music."

David's eyes did this weird thing where they flicked to the side and then stayed remote on Blaine without blinking. Blaine could tell he was thinking something and not saying it. "Is Sebastian not in his room?"

"He is, but I wanted to see you first." Blaine took a deep breath. "I need your help. Well, I was hoping for your help, I don't _need_ it-"

"Blaine! You're mumbling and rambling; that's a combination that just don't go well."

"Sorry. Okay. Um. I've been spending a lot of time with the Warblers and the New Directions and you all keep telling me that I was and am a good singer. I've really been learning about how much power one song has on people when you're trying to get your feelings across. I want to surprise someone with a song and I was hoping you'd help me with learning it." Blaine's face looked like a puppy, but he didn't know it because he couldn't see himself.

David swallowed audibly and thought carefully about his next words. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Is this surprise song for Sebastian?"

Blaine didn't answer. He just stared straight ahead. He and Sebastian hadn't told the Warbles about their relationship yet because they were just starting out. He wondered where David got the idea in the first place.

Blaine's silence gave David his answer that Blaine wasn't going to answer. "Okay, never mind. Just- Both you and Sebastian are my boys and I love you both, but have you considered, maybe, **ALL** of your feelings?"

_Is there some big conversation going on around me that I don't know about?_ Blaine wondered. He knew David was talking about Kurt, but had no idea how he knew so much about everything. He folded his lips inward and bit down, still not wanting to answer anything.

"Alright, I get it. It's none of my business. Let's go down to the Warbler room and we'll work on that song of yours."

Blaine and David worked on a song that Blaine picked out for two hours, finding that Blaine was still a natural at music as he was before the accident. Then he joined Sebastian for the rest of the day as promised.

They were sitting on Sebastian's bed, watching a movie and Sebastian's hand on Blaine's knee.

"Do you think that we should tell the other guys that we're together?" Sebastian asked.

"I think they already know," Blaine answered.

"They do?"

"Yeah, I was talking to David and he seemed to know already."

"When were you talking to David?"

"Before I came here."

"Oh. Well, it would makes sense that they know anyway. It's not like we were hiding that we flirted with each other."

"And we spend a lot of time together."

"Right."

"Is everything okay?" Blaine asked. Sebastian seemed a little on edge. He was hoping it wasn't because he delayed their date. The tone in his voice made him sound like he was anxious or worried.

"I guess I'm just tired."

"Oh! I'm sorry! Do you want to take a nap? I can go hang out with Nick until you wake up or until my mom picks me up."

Sebastian licked his lips and looked Blaine nervously in the eyes. "Or…" He slid his hand gently down Blaine's leg and back up to his knee. "…you can take a nap with me."

Blaine was suddenly able to feel his heart beating fast and hard. "L-like sleep? Together? In this bed?"

Sebastian leaned over and gently put his lips to Blaine's. "Or…" He gave Blaine another soft kiss. "We can-" He parted his lips and Blaine and Sebastian kissed each other warmly. "-find something else to do…" Sebastian didn't give Blaine much of a chance to respond before he was adjusting his body position and kissing Blaine hard on the mouth.

Blaine's heart was racing. Sebastian's body was warm and soft and he was a really good kisser. He liked kissing Sebastian, but he was nervous and he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He felt Sebastian's tongue graze his and he quickly pushed Sebastian off of him and Blaine rolled off the bed. "I-I c-can't. I'm so sorry." Blaine started straightening his clothes. He looked apologetic and genuinely sorry for Sebastian.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked, slightly out of breath and scrambling to sit up on his bed.

"I- I can't. I can't do this. I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'm not," he paused and licked his lips, "comfortable."

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry. I don't want to pressure you. Maybe we can just lye here and watch the rest of the movie instead."

"Sebastian, I'm so sorry. It's not you. I have to go." Blaine turned toward the door.

"Blaine, wait."

"I-I'll call you tomorrow." He gave Sebastian a quick kiss and tore out of the room, not completely knowing where to go.

Blaine said he'd call Sebastian the next day. Sunday came and he didn't call. Blaine tried to use the excuse that since his brother and sister were home to visit him, he was giving all of his attention to them. He knew that was just an excuse because he didn't spend all of his time with them.

Claire asked about Kurt, as did Jared, Claire wanted to go shopping, but Beth quickly shook her head 'no' to get her to stop talking. Jared wanted the family to all go out to do something together and Blaine found himself happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time. Sure, he was normally happy around Sebastian, but there was always the looming thought of Kurt and how he missed him in the back of his head. Spending time with his family as a whole unit and not once hearing them mention anything about Blaine not remembering something was comforting and he found that his brother was actually really funny. They'd all decided on an early dinner, then painting pottery at a place called "Color Me Mine." After that they all went out for sundaes.

He really couldn't have had a better day, he thought. He laughed so hard that his sides hurt and tears came out of his eyes. He was content in the silent moments and didn't feel that he needed to fill in the gaps. Everything seemed just so blissfully comfortable. He liked comfortable. He was tired of new.

But when he came home he looked at his phone that he conveniently left at home for the day, and saw two missed calls from Sebastian. He had also sent a text message.

**S- Are we okay? **

Blaine thought on that. He felt bad that he ran out on Sebastian they way he had. Although, he didn't know what got into Sebastian like that. They'd kissed before, but they'd never been as intense as they were. It scared Blaine. Frankly, it only made him think of Kurt.

He thought of one of the pictures that someone else had snapped of Kurt and Blaine kissing passionately as if no one was watching. Then he thought of the different possibilities he could have gotten into with Sebastian in his bed and that led to a thought of the picture of Kurt, half naked in his bed under a white sheet. He couldn't get Kurt out of his head. It made him feel even more guilty because he should be thinking about Sebastian. He liked Sebastian. Sebastian was his boyfriend.

He thought about what to say to Sebastian because he felt he owed it to him to give him an explanation. _I have to say something. But I don't need to say anything right now._

**B- Of course we're okay. I'll see you after school Tuesday, right?**

Sebastian sent a reply almost instantly. **S- Absolutely. I'll pick you up at three. I'm really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have pressured you.**

**B- I told you. It's not you. I was nervous and not comfortable, but you didn't know that. We're fine now. I'm sorry for running away.**

**S- How about we stop apologizing for forget it happened?**

**B- Deal. See you Tuesday. : )**

**S- Call me tomorrow?**

**B- K. Have a good night.**

**S- You too. Sweet dreams.**

He hated lying to Sebastian. They weren't okay. Far from it, but it wasn't Sebastian's fault. It really wasn't. It was Blaine's fault. If only he would have shown up on time for their date on Saturday and not ten minutes early.

If he was on time he wouldn't have heard Kurt's voice in Sebastian's room. If he was on time, he might not have been as nervous kissing Sebastian the way he was. Ten minutes. Just ten. If only he showed up ten minutes later than he had, he wouldn't have heard Kurt say that he loved him. Maybe things would be different than they are now. Maybe Blaine wouldn't be thinking about Kurt. Maybe he wouldn't be questioning his decision to stay away from Kurt.

**Saturday**

Blaine was just approaching Sebastian's dorm room when he heard someone yelling from inside. It wasn't Sebastian's voice, but Blaine was quickly able to tell it was Kurt's. He tucked himself close to the door and pressed his ear to the wood.

"You don't know him!" Kurt yelled.

"That's ridiculous. You haven't spoken in weeks and he and I talk constantly. I'm starting to think I know him more than you do," Sebastian answered in rebuttal.

"Really? You really think that? Okay," Kurt said with an attitude. Blaine thought that Kurt sounded confident. Like he was positive that no one could know Blaine better than himself.

"I'm not going to argue the point because it's not going to change the fact that Blaine is still my boyfriend."

"You don't know anything."

"I know that he likes me."

"I bet you don't know that his mouth waters when he smells coffee, or that he thinks his teeth doesn't feel clean if he uses any flavor of toothpaste other than mint. I'd be willing to pay money on the fact that you have no clue that the smell of a skunk doesn't bother Blaine in the slightest. Further than that, the combination of peppermint, almond, and green tea turns him on almost instantly, or that his toes curl and then go numb when he orgasms."

Blaine gasped and then quickly covered his mouth. His brain went back to his bedroom, the nightstand, and the drawer. Inside it were condoms. He once wondered who he had sex with. Now he knew.

"Did you know that he used to gel his hair to make it look straight because he used to get made fun of for how curly it was? Yeah. He got made fun of for a lot of things. He got made fun of enough that someone decided it was a good idea to kick the shit out of him for showing up to a Sadie Hawkins dance with another guy. Oh yeah, and he ended up in the hospital then transferred here. You're his boyfriend, so I'm sure you knew that."

Blaine zoned out for a minute or two. Kurt said more about Blaine's past in a one minute span than he had said to Blaine ever. It was a lot to take. He'd seen pictures of himself and always always he had his hair gelled. Now he knew why. He also remembered Kurt mentioning on a few occasions how much he liked it when Blaine didn't gel his hair. It somehow made Blaine feel warm inside that Kurt liked something that people made fun of him for. Sebastian spoke and Blaine was brought back to reality.

"If he wanted you in his life, wouldn't he being talking to you and not ignoring you?" That one hurt because Sebastian had it all wrong and the last thing he wanted Kurt to think was that Blaine didn't want Kurt in his life. It wasn't true. He desperately wanted Kurt in his life, but was trying to push him away because he didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"The fact that you think that's why we're not talking tells me that you have no idea what you're dealing with." _Good, Blaine thought. So, he knows I don't hate him._

"We have a lot in common."

"You couldn't possibly know that because Blaine doesn't know that. He's been out of his house for almost a month. He couldn't possibly have experienced enough to know more than the basic things that he likes. Besides, if you knew anything about Blaine, you'd know that his interests change as quickly as fashion trends change."

"What do you care? You have a boyfriend. If you really cared so much then you would have waited for him instead of moving onto the next guy."

"What are you **talking** about? I don't have a boyfriend! I've been waiting until Blaine was comfortable to start wooing him again."

"That's not what Blaine thinks. He said you're with a tall blonde."

He started laughing. "Oh my God. I can't believe this is happening again. Zach is not my boyfriend. Zach is an affectionate, straight, friend of mine, who treats me like I'm his brother."

Blaine got lost in his thoughts. _Kurt doesn't have a boyfriend? I was sure of it. I can't believe I had it wrong. I was jealous and got mad at him for nothing. Damn damn._

Blaine started paying attention again when he heard Kurt stop laughing. "He'll never love you." Blaine had an intake of breath. He didn't know if Kurt was right, but some part of him felt it was truth.

"Why? Because he can never love anyone other than you?"

Through this whole conversation, Blaine was in a state of shock, but nothing prepared him for what he heard next. "Because we're soul mates. He spent a lot of time telling me that. There's a pull between the two of us that nothing and no one can touch. I don't think a loss of memory would erase that. You can like him all you want, but I love him. I love him with every fiber of my being." Blaine almost fell over. He heard footsteps and he started to back away. The door started to crack open and he ran away. He ran upstairs because it was the only place he thought to go. _He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. _It was like a mantra playing in his head on loop. Then when it slowed, it was replaced by _He loves me. Fuck, what am I going to do?_

**Present day**

He had spent an awful amount of time debating whether or not to delve through the pages of his journal. He sat on his bed and stared at the closed drawer. It was calling to him, as it always does. Blaine finally gave in and snatched the book from the night stand. He knew Kurt appeared in the journal about a quarter of the way in so he started there.

Page after page was of Kurt and Blaine getting coffee or seeing a movie or a play. Once in a while it would mention one of his friends going along with them, but mostly it was the two of them alone. It was endless descriptions of his clothes and funny things Kurt said. The more pages he flipped the more clear is became that the Blaine who wrote this was falling in love with Kurt, whether he knew it or not.

**-I feel happy around Kurt. He makes me feel more comfortable than anyone I've ever met.**

**- He's a lot stronger than me, but he'd never admit it. Kurt is so brave with the way he lives his life.**

**-Kurt is the most compassionate person I have ever met. He's sensitive and strong, while still being bold and quiet. I never knew someone could be like that.**

**-Sometimes I wonder if Kurt's lonely. The way he looked at me and handled me after Jeremiah rejected me made me think that he wishes he felt about someone the way I felt about Jeremiah.**

**- I was completely clueless. I'm an idiot. Here I was fawning over Jeremiah, asking Kurt to help me, when all along, Kurt had feelings for me. He's so special to me. He's so strong, but I feel like when it comes to me, I could shatter his fragile heart with one look. I don't know if I want that power. I never want to break him. I couldn't bare to lose him if he started to hate me or lose interest.**

**- I feel like I'm seeing him for the first time. Kurt was singing today. Pavarotti died and Kurt was really upset about it. Something about the song and his performance moved me and I feel like I finally saw Kurt Hummel. He's beautiful and I wouldn't be who I was without him. There's a line "take these broken wings and learn to fly" that's what he's done for me. I was broken and pretending to be okay before I met him and then he helped me be happy and I was able to soar with him by my side. I thought Jeremiah or some other guys at school could fill the void in my soul, but it was Kurt all along. He was always right here and I just had this moment that was "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you forever." And I have. I've been looking everywhere for Kurt. I saw him crying and I just wanted to reach out and touch him. I wanted to wipe the tears away. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to hold HIM.**

**- A kiss. It began with a kiss. I can't stop smiling. I told Kurt how I felt and then I kissed him. I couldn't believe it when he kissed me back. I almost laughed when I heard how hard he dropped his hand to the table. I knew he felt the same thing I did. It was… kismet, destiny, meant to be. I know it sounds silly, but I'll never be the same because now I have Kurt by my side, holding my hand. **

Pages and pages of days Blaine couldn't remember, but wished he did went by and soon he was able to see things that he didn't understand before more clearly. Blaine had written in detail, the first time he told Kurt he loved him and how he knew that's what it was; love.

Even more specifically, he wrote about the night he snuck out and Kurt pulled him out back behind a garden. Out of site and behind the shed. They kissed and touched; saw each other for the first time. Blaine wrote in great detail about what it was like to have Kurt make him orgasm twice. How it felt to see Kurt presented before him, "like the gift he is" and what it was like to be touched like that. "It was pure, raw, love and passion… and it was fun." Blaine laughed at the last part. **-It was fun.**

He started to skip over entries because he knew there was a lot to get through. There were countless entries of Blaine gushing over how wonderful it felt to make love to Kurt. Blaine couldn't help, but pay particular attention to those ones. He'd skip over ones that sounded like he was explaining a fight because he didn't want to find out that it might have been his own fault. Then he just skipped a head all together to the part where they were apart because he wanted to know why Kurt agreed to get back with someone who treated him so poorly when they broke up.

Surprisingly, Blaine had written little about it. One day he was brooding and broken hearted, then the next, he was gushing over how happy he was that Kurt took him back. What shocked Blaine the most was his tiny mention of all the collective things that kept them apart.

**-We've been through so much in the past six months. But we've been through me cheating and him second guessing what he wants, but it still comes down to the distance between Dalton and McKinley. No matter what we do, or what happens, or how we feel, all we do is miss each other. We could be in the same room and I'll still miss the feel of his skin. When we're apart I miss the smell of his cologne and the lotions he puts on his face. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of feeling like I can never get close enough to him. I've never wanted anyone or anything like I want him. It's like an obsession. No. Like he's a part of me that I didn't know existed. When he's gone, I'm not whole. I'm just a shell without him. I could never want anyone more than the way I want Kurt.**

"I cheated on him," was Blaine's singular response. He wondered if he didn't skip over the previous entries, he'd find out the lead up and why, but after a lot of thought, he decided that he didn't want to know why. _Some things are better left forgotten_, Blaine reminded himself. That was what Kurt told him the day he met James. He continued to read.

Page after page. Month after month. Kurt and Blaine were blissfully happy. Blaine couldn't stop his smiling and laughter at some places. He wrote about their summer and visiting Kurt on his nights and days off from working at a theme park called Six Flags; he wrote about sneaking out late at night and being dragged by Kurt, time and time again behind a shed; he wrote about naps in the sun, driving with no where in mind, just so they could listen to the same song on repeat and sing at the top of their lungs, and culminating that summer by moving to Lima. Blaine wrote about telling Kurt about his new house his family was moving into, which was only a couple blocks from Kurt's home and how he planned a picnic inside his new room as a surprise. He paid a lot of attention writing about surprises that he planned for Kurt. Always Kurt. Kurt was Blaine's world. He had other friends, but Kurt was always more important to write about.

Then, very abruptly, the entries stopped and the pages were blank. "The accident," he said aloud. He rubbed his head where he knew a scar remained underneath his hair. He thought of the information he had been given about that night and slowly the pieces of the puzzle came to him. He didn't remember, but he knew enough to figure out the truth. "Kurt and I were on a date with Mike and Tina that night. We were together. Kurt was given special privileges by my parents because he was my boyfriend. He never stopped loving me. He must have been in agony." Blaine palmed his face and ran his hands down his cheeks. "What have I put him through? He stayed this whole time, while I yelled at him and, oh god, I starting dating Sebastian after I told Kurt I had no interest in him. How did I not notice this sooner? I'm so stupid." He palmed his face again. "I have to do something. I have to make it right. He has to know."

**Monday**

"This past weekend was filled with a lot for me. Not all bad, but it was just a lot. I learned a lot about myself and I wanted to share that with all of you. Mainly Kurt." Blaine dared himself to look right at Kurt. _You can do this_, he told himself.

Kurt lifted his head and his stunned, wide eyes finally looked at Blaine dead on in the face for the first time in weeks.

Blaine continued as everyone else in the room looked back and forth from Kurt to Blaine, trying to make sense of what was happening. "I was going to sing Vindicated by Dashboard Confessionals, but…" He paused. _What am I doing?_ he thought. He hadn't planned a speech and hadn't even thought of what to say when he came to this point. In a quick moment, he decided to address Kurt directly. "I read the journal, Kurt. I stayed up reading it until I passed out. I know now why I have to force myself to stay away from you. I know now why being around you is like breathing. You fought so hard for so long for us to be together; so we could be happy. And I can never say I'm sorry enough to make up for the way I treated you recently. I had it all wrong." _I'm so stupid. He probably had no idea what I'm talking about._ Blaine realized that he on the spot ramble was all over the place. He hoped if he started to sing the song, maybe Kurt would understand.

They stayed staring at each other for a couple seconds, Kurt still in a stunned silence. Blaine turned to one of the guitar players and signaled for him to start.

**Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angryCall I'm desperate for your voiceI'm listening to the song we used to singIn the car, do you remember, butterfly, early summer?It's playing on repeat, just like when we would meetLike when we would meetI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have toTo make you mine, stay with me tonightStripped and polished, I am new, I am freshI am feeling so ambitiousYou and me, flesh to flesh'Cause every breath that you will takeWhen you are sitting next to meWill bring life into my deepest hopes, what's your fantasy?What's your, what's yourI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have toTo make you mine, stay with me tonightAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeAnd I'm tired of being all aloneAnd this solitary moment makes me want to come back homeI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have toI was born to tell you I love youAnd I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mineStay with me tonight **

The music stopped and the song was finished. Blaine stood front and center of the room, the rest of his peers looking back at him in silence, and Blaine only seeing Kurt. He didn't know what he was expecting, singing a song to Kurt like this. A joyous moment maybe; an over dramatic moment maybe; but certainly he expected something. Not the nothing that actually came. Kurt looked back at him with tearless eyes that rimmed red. _He's feeling something; that's for sure, but what?_ Blaine wondered. He watched as Kurt slowly looked away by dropping his head down and looking at his lap. He knew this was a long shot. _I've hurt him so much._ _I should have just stayed away._ He sat down in his seat and watched the rest of the class unfold the way it would have had be not done a thing.

When Glee rehearsal ended, he stayed seated, watching people mull around or leave, but waiting to see what Kurt did. During the coarse of the hour, he barely paid attention. He was waging a war in his head between his head and heart.

Head: Kurt hated it. You told him you loved him and he hated it.

Heart: He didn't hate it, he was taken by surprise and didn't know what to do.

Head: You have to keep trying. He needs to at least be aware of what you know.

Head: You hurt him. A lot. Then dated some other guy after you said you weren't interested

Heart: Kurt still loves you. He said so yesterday.

Head: He would have done anything other than sit there in silence. Forget it and move on.

Heart: No! Don't forget it! What was the purpose of this? Haven't you forgotten enough? Don't forget him. Don't even try. Fight until he says no. Fight until you know what _he_ wants.

Blaine realized that his heart was right and his head was nothing more than doubt. He watched as everyone filed out of the room except a few of the musicians, and Kurt. Kurt hadn't moved from his seat and Blaine hadn't either. They sat I different rows with Kurt in the back.

There was silence at first and Blaine could hear his own breathing. "I don't know what to say," he offered, breaking the silence.

"The song was lovely," Kurt managed to say.

Blaine turned around and looked at Kurt for the first time since the song ended. "I'm sorry if it bothered you."

"It didn't."

"I can see how much I've hurt you." He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do." Blaine felt the lump rising in his throat and he looked down at his knees. He didn't look up, even when Kurt moved down to sit in the seat next to him and turned to face Blaine.

Kurt put his hand on Blaine's knee, daring to touch him. "I forgive you. You only did what you did because I kept you so far in the dark. I just…" Kurt swallowed and crossed his legs on the chair, folding them like a pretzel. Blaine finally looked up when Kurt's hand moved away. The gentle touch was comforting. Kurt started again. "I wanted you to know that I accepted you based on who you were at that moment and not because of who you used to be."

"I did know that. But why so many secrets? I look back now and see how much pain you were in, holding it all in. I would have listened. Even if I felt differently about certain things now, I still would have listened."

"I didn't want you to feel obligated to be in a relationship that you might not have understood. I thought that if I was presented as your best friend, then it might be easier for you to accept me in your life. Except it backfired."

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"I still fell in love with you. I was reading the journal and I saw how things can be the same as they used to be, even if I can't remember them. You're all I think about. You going to Sebastian on Saturday was the best thing that could have possibly happened."

"I knew you were outside the door!"

"You did?"

"Yeah. I walked out and smelled your cologne wafting like you just ran away. At first I was horrified, but then I thought it was a good thing because at least now you knew how I felt."

"I think I always knew, but was too oblivious and scared to admit it. Maybe because I knew that I loved you back. Really, Kurt. I'm so glad I made that journal before… you know. I might have been oblivious forever."

Kurt licked his lips and his expression changed. "About that. The journal. You didn't read it until last night?"

"No. I wanted to find things out for myself and not read them. But hearing you tell me that you loved me made me read it because I needed to know why- why do you look sad?" Blaine saw Kurt's face change and didn't understand.

"You only came to the conclusion that you loved me after you heard that I loved you and then read about how you used to love me…" He bit down on his lip. "As much as I want to believe you, I have that feeling that you fell in love with a book or the flowery romance couple inside the book."

"No! That's not it! I told you that I think I always knew. You have to believe me."

"I want to. So badly I want to." Kurt stood up and grabbed his messenger bag.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

Blaine stared in shock. This was REALLY not what he expected. Kurt was heading for the exit. "What does it matter?" he shouted as he stood up. "What it does it matter when I figured out that I loved you? I figured it out, didn't I?"

"Did you?"

"Yes! I love you!" Blaine rushed up to Kurt. He wanted to kiss him so desperately.

Kurt turned his face away, knowing how close they were: kissing distance. "Does Sebastian know?" Blaine backing away a little, gave Kurt his answer. "It would make you a cheater. Sebastian's a nice guy. He doesn't deserve to be cheated on."

"I'll tell him. I promise. It's you I want. It always has been."

Kurt bit his lip. "Please don't make this harder for me."

"What's so hard about it? I love you! I know you love me too, you said it yesterday. We belong together."

"But you chose him. You pushed me away when I tried to explain and you chose him. You wanted him more than me. I'm not stupid. I'm having a hard time believing that when you say you love me, it may not be real. You figured this out after you read how in love we once were. How do I know that in a week, you're not going to figure out that all you still are going to want to do is yell at me and wish that you stayed with Sebastian."

"How do you know that in a month or a year, I'm not going to have done any of those things and still be madly in love with you?"

"I don't." There was silence again and Kurt turned to walk out again.

"You had so much fight in you when you spoke to Sebastian. Now what you wanted is staring you in the face and you're walking away? You're walking away from the person you called your soul mate?"

Blaine kept shouting things, but Kurt kept walking. He bit his lip and felt the sting of his tears running down his face and didn't turn around.

"If I said nothing about the journal, would you have believed me?"

Kurt was gone. Blaine stopped yelling. He was in an empty room. _Where did I go wrong?_ he thought.

Head: Forget it. Sebastian is a nice guy and cares about you. Go back to him and grovel.

Heart: It's not over. You have to make Kurt believe you.

Head: He listened to you once, didn't he? See where following your heart gets you? Be logical. Kurt said no. It's time to move on.

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><p>Please review!<p>

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Next chapter is almost finished. expect it soon!


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm kind of too tired to write an Author's Note, so I hope you enjoy this chapter. :) I did.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

Blaine had gone home, Mike had been waiting for him in the parking lot to drive him home. He sat in the kitchen, on the counter, where is mother told him not to sit, with his arm dug into a box of wheat thins.

"Blaine, honey, if you don't get off that counter, I will make you." Beth was working her way around the kitchen, getting things ready for dinner.

Blaine didn't move. "How did you know that you loved Dad?"

"This is about Kurt, isn't it?" She opened the refrigerator and pulled out items to make a salad.

Blaine sat up abruptly. "How did you know?"

Beth chortled and started cutting up a head of lettuce. "Sweetheart, I'm your mother. Don't you think I know who you love? I know Sebastian's a nice guy and all, but he's not Kurt. Kurt's you're guy."

"Yeah. My guy who won't believe me when I say that I love him. He thinks that I only _think_ that I love him because I fell in love with the romantic couple in my journal."

"Oh, you found that?" Beth looked up for a moment, like it wasn't a surprise.

"You knew?"

Beth laughed again. "A mother knows everything. I knew you were gay back when you were five, I knew your sister would become a lawyer just because when Jared was ten, he said girls can't be lawyers, I knew Jared would take forever to settle down and have a real relationship, and I know _now,_" she stopped chopping up a pepper and looked Blaine in the face, "that no matter what happens between you and Kurt, you'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you. You're my son, my baby. You're not _that _much different than you used to be. You're still sensitive and completely oblivious to what everyone else really thinks of you, but more importantly, you're 100% resilient. You always have been and you always will be. So, I know, that even if you and Kurt don't work out, you'll be okay. It will be hard, but it will get easier. In the end, you'll be happy, even if it's not what you originally planned."

Blaine smiled. He hadn't remembered his mother being so… _motherly_ before now. She was helpful and demanding and comforting, but never like this. It made Blaine feel comfortable and confident. "So what do I do?"

"You sure it's Kurt you want, right? Kurt, not Sebastian?"

"Absolutely."

"Then go get him." She went back to chopping up vegetables.

"It's not that simple."

"Sure it is. It's only you getting in your own way. Go over to his house and talk to him. He can't walk out on you in his own house and his father would never make you leave. His father's name is Burt and he seems intimidating, but Kurt's his entire world and he's dealt with the two of you enough to be a no-nonsense guy. You'll like him. He loves you."

"What do I say?"

"Can I speak with Kurt?"

"No, not to his father; to Kurt."

"Oh! I love you?"

"I did say that."

She nodded her head as she sliced into a cucumber. "Tell me what he thinks again?"

"He thinks I'm only thinking that I'm in love with him because I read it in my journal. He thinks my affections are fake."

"Then ask him how you could prove it."

"What if he says he doesn't know?"

"Tell him that your word has to be good enough because he'll have to choose between having you and not having you." Beth was waving her knife around as she spoke, without looking across the room at Blaine. "Having you and you believing that you love him is better than not having you and regretting giving you a chance."

"Okay. I think I can do that."

She put the knife down and went over to her son. She kissed his forehead and took the box of wheat thins from him. "Good. Now get off my clean, marble counter and take a walk over to his house."

"Now?"

"No time like the present, is there? Besides, I know you know how to get to his house."

"You do?"

"You snuck out of the house weeks ago, do you really think I didn't notice?"

Blaine smiled again. "Why didn't you say anything? Shouldn't I have been grounded?"

"You used to do it all the time. I thought it was sweet or romantic. You know, your father used to do that when we were kids. He'd sneak out of his bedroom window and throw stuff at my window to get my attention."

"He did?" Blaine smiled wider.

"Yeah. He got the idea from a movie." She smiled back, obviously lost in the memory. "He definitely got my attention. Now go get him."

Blaine hopped off the counter and put the box of Wheat Thins away. "Thanks, Mom. He gave her a peck on the cheek and headed for his shoes and jacket at the front entrance."

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Blaine?" Finn opened the door at the Hummel/Hudson home. He looked confused that Blaine showed up unexpectedly at their door.

"Hi, Finn. I'm really sorry if I'm interrupting anything."

"Oh! No! You're not. We're all just sitting around the house, waiting for dinner to be ready."

"Is Kurt home?"

"Yeah! He's actually out back in the garden. It's freezing and he's been sitting out there for a while. Why don't you go on back. Maybe you can get him to come inside."

"Okay. Thanks!"

Finn smiled back and let Blaine in the house, escorting him through to the kitchen and the back entrance to the garden. Finn's mom Carol was in the kitchen. She greeted him with a smile and looked like she wanted to hug him. "Hi, Blaine," she said.

"Hi." He didn't know what else to do.

"I'm Carol, but we can talk later. Kurt's outside. Just through that door."

"Thank you." He saw Kurt from the frosted window and took a deep breath.

"Be careful where you step. There's ice everywhere and Burt hasn't sanded it yet. Very slippery."

Kurt was sitting on a swing that appeared to be meant for two people. Blaine went over to him and sat next to him. There was silence at first, but at least Kurt wasn't telling him to go away. "It's cold," Blaine offered as a non-committal conversation starter.

Kurt wiped the tiniest of moisture from his eyes and sniffled. His nose and cheeks were pink from the chill. "It's been more than two months and I still think of things like this." He gestured to the garden around them. "Do you know how much time we've spent out here? Sitting right here, just like this, taking a nap over by the roses," he pointed, "picking sunflower seeds from the sunflowers, hiding behind the shed." Kurt wiped his eyes again. He was hesitant to add that last part because they only hid behind the shed because they were doing something sexual and didn't want to get caught.

Blaine stayed silent. He felt guilty again. He felt like he took something away from Kurt that he could never give back. He didn't know what to do or say. Blaine stood up and traversed his way over to the rose bushes, carefully stepping where the ice was thin. He found that the roses formed a kind of cull de sac and there was a bench in the corner. He sat down on it and put his hands down on the wood on both sides of himself. Blaine stared out at the skyline. The sun was setting.

He couldn't help, but think about where he was sitting. He'd read plenty about this very spot. He'd dreamt about this spot. It was eerie how he knew what this looked like before he saw it. The whole garden actually and the shed. He'd dreamt all of it.

It took a while, but Kurt finally joined Blaine over by the roses. He stood in front of him, in the way of the sun. "Sometimes, when you were feeling playful, we'd play hide and seek. More often than not, I'd find you here. You always insisted on a hot summer day that we have a picnic right here and then take a nap after we'd eaten." Kurt almost smiled. "One day you insisted that you had enough sun screen on and when you woke up, your back was beet red. I was putting aloe on you for a week and then spent another week helping you peel the skin off. It was really gross." He had a wistful smile and gave an almost chuckle.

Blaine looked up at Kurt, seeing the halo of light the sun had created around the crown of his head and saw that Kurt was barely turning the corners of his mouth up. "You miss him, don't you?"

Kurt's barely there smile went away and he nodded his head. "I'm sorry." He sat down on the bench next to Blaine, but didn't look at him. He began talking to Blaine, but looked off into the sunset as Blaine watched him speak. "I couldn't be happier that you're still alive and I don't blame you at all for the accident, or your memory loss, but seeing you and knowing that the Blaine I knew isn't here anymore- it's hard. You have to know that it isn't you fault. I'm trying my best to be there for you, but now- especially right now, I miss him. I know this must hurt you as much as it hurts me, but the fact is that it's a reality. You're confused and frustrated and I'm not helping you. I'm sorry. Sometimes I wish I knew how, but it's those times that I miss him the most."

"He was really special to you." It wasn't a question.

"Very special. I could never find the words to explain how much he meant to me, or what he was for me. I only wish that he knew."

Blaine wanted to again console Kurt like he was mourning the loss of a friend, so he hesitantly lifted his hand and gently put it on Kurt's knee. This time Kurt didn't shy away from Blaine's touch like he did earlier in the choir room . He let him touch. "I'm sure he did know," Blaine offered.

Kurt sniffled and wiped a tear away. "Oh yeah? How do you know?"

"Because anyone who can recall as many memories as quickly as you can and speak of someone so passionately, doesn't let another person go one day without telling them, in some way, that they're special. I doubt a single day went by where he didn't know how much you cared about him."

Kurt sniffled again and lifted his eyebrow momentarily. "That's sweet, but you couldn't know that."

"Yes I can."

"How?" He looked down at the hand that held his knee.

"Because I read the journal and, trust me, he knew. Every day he knew. But even without the journal, I know how much _I _mean to you _now_."

Kurt turned his head almost abruptly. Blaine was able to see all of the emotions Kurt was feeling. They varied from surprise to painful. "You do?"

"Yes. Kurt, of course I do." Blaine turned his body slightly, his left knee touching Kurt's right. "You don't notice, but I see what you do. Since the second I woke up, you've given up your life for me. You were at my doorstep everyday, no questions asked, just because I wanted to you be, until I told you not to. With the exception of James and us, you've answered every question I've asked with as much honesty and humility as you could muster, no matter how hard it was for you to talk about. You've spared everything you had inside you just to be there for me. I know what I mean to you… and there's nothing that would make me want to trade what you've given me so far. I wish I knew how to do that. Because then I would be able to show you how much _you _mean to _me_."

Kurt covered Blaine's hand with his own that was still on his knee. "You don't owe me anything. Not even a thank you. I was with you everyday because I wanted to be. I want to do the things you ask me to do because I'd do anything for you." He stopped there. He almost said _I love you_. He wanted to say it. Desperately, he wanted to tell Blaine how much he loved him still.

"Anything?" Blaine asked. Kurt responded with a nod, wondering if Blaine had something in mind for him to do. He got his answer when Blaine continued. "I still want to kiss you."

Kurt bit his bottom lip. He wanted to kiss Blaine more than he could say. He wanted to feel Blaine's lips on his, and taste his tongue, and tangle his fingers in Blaine's hair. "B-Blaine I can't-"

"Why not?"

""I'm not an experiment, Blaine. I'll still be here, when you figure things out, but if we take this step and you find that I'm not what you want… If you didn't really feel that way all along… I- I couldn't…" Kurt swallowed the again rising lump and couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry," Blaine confessed after a few minutes.

Kurt shook it off. "You're just trying to figure yourself out. Usually I'm better at keeping my emotions in check. I try to be objective for you, but this is a bit of a sore subject."

"I'm not apologizing because you're right. I'm apologizing because I'm sorry you feel that way. You're wrong, Kurt. On every count. I don't want to kiss you because I want to know if what I'm feeling for you is real," Blaine explained. "I know it's real and I want to kiss you because I feel something for you. I want to kiss you because it'd be _you _I was kissing." Blaine paused and Kurt looked away. "No. I'm not saying this right." He got up off the bench and knelt down in front of Kurt. His knees immediately felt this sting of the cold ice beneath him. He took Kurt's hands in his and held them in Kurt's lap.

Kurt's breath hitched. This was a pose that Kurt knew well. Blaine knelt in front of Kurt like this the first time he told Kurt he loved him.

"You said I couldn't kiss you because you're not an experiment. I don't want to experiment with you. I have feelings for you. I love you. I'm sure of that. I want to kiss you as a way to express my feelings for you. You're beautiful and amazing." Blaine let Kurt take in what he was saying. He realized that he'd said a lot and then the thought hit him that maybe Kurt didn't feel the same. Maybe what Kurt felt for Blaine was solely friendship and duty. Just the thought of Kurt not feeling the same way crushed him. He furrowed his eyebrows in innocent curiosity.

Kurt heard the words enter into his ears. Through everything, Blaine still had feelings for him. That special connection that they'd always had; the one that made them perfect and made for one another by some divine entity. When Kurt finally looked at him he saw the old Blaine. The Blaine that couldn't help but make himself look like a puppy when he was anticipating a let down. God, did he want to kiss him and feel the way it use to feel, to love him and make Blaine feel the way he used to.

Kurt took too long to answer and Blaine asked "Do _you _not want to kiss _me_? Is that it?" His expression remained looking like a puppy and his nerves were getting to him as his heart beat faster, anticipating an answer- any answer.

"Blaine…" Kurt stood up while still holding Blaine's hands. Blaine looked up at Kurt, still on his knees. Kurt urged Blaine to stand and he did as he fluttered his eyes in confusion. "Do you know our first kiss was very similar to how we are now?"

"You know I don't," Blaine answered softly. "Will you tell me about it?"

"You were drunk and trying to tell me how you felt about me and I was resisting you. The moments were full of pain on both your and my sides because you wanted me to believe you and I couldn't let myself do that. I asked you what you wanted from me, you told me not to cry, and then just kissed me. You didn't remember the next morning, so the first time we kissed as a couple, you thought that was our first real kiss."

"How is that similar to right now?"

"You're trying to tell me how you feel about me and begging to kiss me. While I want to tell you how I feel and kiss you back, I'm resisting and not letting myself have that."

"You want to kiss me?" Blaine's face lifted some and he inched a little closer. His eyes lit up and sparkled. Kurt nodded and looked down as he did so. "Then why don't you?"

Kurt looked back up. "There's so much you don't know. I want to tell you everything, but I don't know if you're ready."

Blaine's hands tightened around Kurt's. "You'll be here for me if it's too much, right?"

"Always."

"So kiss me…" Blaine was back to his pleading voice.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't feel the same way you do." Kurt didn't know how else to say it. Blaine had feelings for Kurt, but Kurt _loved_ Blaine. It was too much for him to love someone or even kiss someone who he felt didn't return his sentiments.

Blaine inched away and loosened his hands from Kurt's. His expression had dropped and Kurt could see the light dimming in Blaine's eyes. "You don't? His heart sank. "I don't understand. How could you say you want to kiss me, but don't have feelings for me?"

Kurt wanted to take Blaine's hands in his again, but was afraid of what might happen if he touched him again. "No, Blaine. It's not that. I do want to kiss you and I do have feelings for you, but they're not the same as the ones you have for me."

"How could you know that?"

"Because I have a year of sitting on them and you have two months of meeting me and figuring out that you liked a guy instead of a girl and then reading how you used to feel."

Blaine shook his head. It bothered him to hear Kurt say that. "That's shit, Kurt. Complete shit. You don't know what's going on inside me. When I was in the hospital, I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was you. I swear… my heart stopped and in that moment I thought I was looking at an angel. I know that sounds corny, but that was my first thought. You were so beautiful and you were holding my hand. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Then you started talking and saying my name and I realized I wasn't dead and didn't even know that the name you were calling me was mine. I had no idea who you were, but then you were gone and I felt like part of me was missing until I opened the front door and there you were with my homework one day." He gulped. "Don't tell me that what I'm feeling isn't strong and that I haven't felt that something between us since the second I saw you. You can't tell me that what you feel is stronger than what I do simply because you had more time to feel it. You're everything to me, Kurt. You're everything. Can't you feel that?"

"Blaine, I love you." The words were out of his mouth before Kurt had a chance to stop himself. "I've been in love with you since the second we met on a staircase at Dalton. Before you ask if you knew, you did… and you loved me too. It took some time, but we finally found each other. It was perfect. We were perfect. We had a lot of, um, troubles at first, but we conquered them and came out swinging. Our love was so strong that nothing could touch us. You told me that we were soul mates and I believed you. You and I were nothing less than two fates colliding to create something beautiful."

Blaine didn't hesitate. He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Kurt's hard. Kurt made a whimpering "Mmnn" sound milliseconds after he registered that for the first time in a long time, he was kissing Blaine.

They parted and Blaine's gloved hands held Kurt's face. "I love you. I love you. It doesn't matter how I figured it out. What matters is that I know it now and that I realized that I knew it all along, but was too stupid to notice." They sat down and held each other's hands.

Kurt pressed his lips back to Blaine's and breathed in his scent. He's been missing this for months. Another whimper left his throat.

"This is so perfect," Blaine whispered against Kurt's lips. "It's just like something out of my dreams.

"Dreams?" Kurt asked as he pulled back slightly.

"For a few weeks now, I've been having these really vivid dreams. Everything is so real. Like I can reach out and touch everything."

"What do you dream about?"

"Sometimes it's entire scenes, but sometimes it's just flashes. Um. Roses, plaid blankets and picnic baskets, white stones with the moonlight shining on them. I dreamt this place a lot," he patted the bench they sat on. "It's weird because I feel like I've been here before."

Kurt had a curious look about his face. "Tell me about the roses."

"There are different ones. Mostly red and white, but sometimes there are single roses that are kind of peachy."

"What else?"

"I'd rather not."

"Why?" Kurt thought something was wrong.

"Um. I've had some that are- um." Blaine blushed and Kurt didn't miss it.

"Oh!" he giggled. "Don't worry. Those are normal. It's not like that wasn't something we didn't do frequently."

Blaine raised his eyebrows and blushed even further. "About that… I read about it- us- a lot… like a lot a lot."

Kurt grinned. "We had a very active love life."

"You're speaking in code so I don't get uncomfortable aren't you?"

"Yes. And you want to know, but are too embarrassed to ask."

"Yes."

"Just ask. I've seen and done it all with you. You can't ask anything embarrassing."

"Was it- Was I… good?"

Kurt burst out laughing. "That is exactly the kind of thing any normal guy would ask." Kurt changed his voice to lower it. "How awesome was I? Is my dick big, or what?" He brought it voice back up to normal tones and laughed some more. "Yes. I'm sorry. You were divine."

"Really?"

"Yes. You seemed very experienced for a virgin."

"Oh… and you?"

"Me? Oh I'm sensational. I'm positive of that."

"No. I mean were you a virgin?"

"Yes. We gave it up to each other first."

"I cheated on you. That means I slept with another person, right?"

Kurt nodded. "It was an accident. I forgave you and we're long past that."

"Why did you forgive me?"

"Because it was something that shouldn't and wouldn't have happened if people weren't meddling in our lives. Like I said, it was an accident."

"This is one of those things that should be left in the past, right?"

Kurt nodded again. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why Sebastian?"

"I liked him. I didn't when we met, but I liked his attention. I thought I couldn't have you, so I went for the nice guy who was interested in me. I didn't understand you and me. I didn't understand anything because I refused to read the journal. I wish I read it right when I found it. It would have save me a lot of time and anguish. I stayed away from you because I didn't want to hurt you anymore. I knew I was hurting you and I dreamt that we broke up. I looked through the journal and found out that I dreamt a memory. I didn't read into it more and I saw how mean I was. I didn't ever want to hurt you again. I thought that if I stayed away from you, I wouldn't hurt you. But then I read that you took me back and we were happy. REALLY happy. I love you so much. I want us to be like that again. I want that and I want that with you. I love you."

Kurt smiled. "I want that too." He stood up, bringing Blaine with him and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

"Kurt!"

The two broke apart.

"What?" Kurt yelled back without looking at the open door to the house.

"It's freezing! Now that you two have kissed and made up, can you please come inside before you catch pneumonia?"

"Yes!" Blaine looked shocked. "Oh don't worry. Dad loves you. He just acts like that to annoy me. It's really just him being playful. On many occasions he's caught us kissing and reminded me that dinner wasn't you."

They both laughed and turned to walk. Kurt started first and no sooner did he say "Careful. I over watered and now the ice is awful," Blaine slipped hard and the back of his head hit the bench. Kurt slid over to Blaine's body on the ground. He was out cold. "DAD!" he screamed. He started patting Blaine's chest. He took off his gloves and slapped him a couple times. Nothing. "DAD!" he screamed again. "Okay," Kurt was starting to hyperventilate. "Straighten him out and stabilize his head incase there was a break. DAD!" The second he put his hands on his head he felt a warmness. Then he saw it on the ice and his hands. Blood.

"DAAAAAD!"

"What?"

"HELP! Call 911!"

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><p>Dun. ! :) Cliffhanger!<p>

Please review!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	20. Chapter 20

**:) That's all I have to say about this chapter... :-D**

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><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

Kurt sat on the side of the bed, holding Blaine's hand. This position was familiar to him. It hadn't been too long ago where he sat like this while Blaine lay unconscious in a hospital bed. He wasn't sad, like he was the first time this happened. He was sad, but he found that he was more disappointed than distraught.

"Blaine, please wake up. I can't keep doing this. I don't know what to do. When is this going to stop being hard for us? We're soul mates, remember? We're meant to be together. You had no recollection of our past, yet you still found your love for me. I love you so much, Blaine. Please don't forget. Please remember us. I won't leave you alone this time, I promise. Just, please, don't forget us. I need you." Kurt laid down on the bed next to Blaine and sobbed into Blaine's hospital gown until he fell asleep.

While Kurt slept, Blaine's parents came in and out of the room, taking turns to get cups of coffee, but probably just making excuses to just leave the room. This deja vu of Blaine unconscious in a hospital room was far too much for them. They were surprised at how Kurt was even able to sleep, let alone take it so well. Not that sobbing was taking something well. More or less it was Kurt taking the situation as best as he could. But Kurt was able to do something that Henry and Beth were not able to do: stay.

It was the early hours of the morning when Kurt's eyes fluttered opened. He felt the gentle feeling of fingers gently brushing small locks of his hair. Henry and Beth were not in the room. Kurt was too tired to try to think of why they weren't there and he nuzzled his head closer to Blaine's side. _Blaine!_ Kurt shot his head up and saw a pair of honey eyes and perfect lips smiling at him. "Blaine! You're awake!"

Blaine's eyes sparkled. "Yeah. Sleeping Beauty has awoken." Blaine chuckled.

"And you remember who I am? Who you are?" Kurt hurriedly asked.

"Yes?" Blaine answered slowly.

"Don't kid. What's your name?"

"Blaine Anderson."

"And my name?"

"Kurt Hummel. The love my life." Blaine smiled again. There was a small pause as Kurt let the knowledge sink in that Blaine was not suffering another dose of amnesia. "How's my face? Did I cut it up badly when I hit my head?"

"No." Kurt lurched forward and pressed his lips to Blaine's. "You're perfect and handsome as always." He kissed him again.

"How's the deer?"

Kurt pulled back. "What?"

"The deer. Did it die when I hit it?"

"When you hit?" Kurt was confused, but the foggy pieces were slowly starting to make their way back into his consciousness.

"Yeah. I remember the deer and hitting it before hydroplaning. That's the last thing I remember actually. Are Tina and Mike okay?" Kurt inhaled sharply and stared blankly at Blaine in shock. "What? They're okay, right? Kurt please answer me, you look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yes, they're fine," Kurt finally got out. "But… Blaine, why are you here… in the hospital?"

"Car accident. Hit my head and knocked myself unconscious. Why? Kurt, you're really acting weird."

"I have to go get the nurse."

"The call button is over here."

"I need to find your parents."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and held it tight. "You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Kurt gulped. He couldn't let Blaine hear this from anyone else. "You're not in here for a car accident."

"Yes I am."

"No. Blaine. The car accident was two months ago. You're in here now because you slipped on the ice and hit your head."

The two boys stared at each other in complete disbelief. How was it Blaine now remembered his previous accident, but not his recent one? How could Blaine not remember the past two months?

"No," Blaine finally said. "This is just a really _really_ cruel joke."

Kurt quickly searched for the remote to the television and turned on CNN. Blaine was able to see then. At the bottom of the screen in white letters was the date. Blaine stared blankly at the screen.

"I need to find your parents," Kurt said.

"No!" Blaine shouted, snapping Kurt back into the moment and making him look only at Blaine. Blaine gulped and his eyes welled. "Don't leave me alone."

Kurt went back over to Blaine's bed and held his hand. "Everything will be okay. I promise. We'll get through this."

"Two months?" Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded. "Let me call the nurse. I'll tell you everything, I promise."

"It's still you and me, right?"

"Always. I love you." Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek.

Blaine quickly turned his head and cuffed his hand behind Kurt's neck, pulling his face in. There was something desperate about the way Blaine kissed Kurt. He didn't know how it was possible that he lost two months of his memory. It was like losing two months of his life. Something about kissing Kurt and knowing that they were still what they always were made Blaine feel something familiar, like two months ago was yesterday and not a long time ago.

Kurt knew that Blaine was upset and far-be-it for him to deny Blaine something he needed, so he let Blaine kiss him. Blaine held him tightly and dipped his tongue into Kurt's mouth. He whimpered and Kurt felt a single tear touch his cheek.

"It's okay," Kurt soothed as he parted from Blaine and embraced him. "Everything will be okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you."

"I love you so much," Blaine confessed as he coughed and sniffled. He wasn't crying so much as having a panic attack or break down. Admittedly, this was shocking news that not everyone, except maybe Blaine, gets twice in their life.

"I love you too." Kurt rubbed Blaine's back soothingly.

"Was I… Did I…"

"What is it?" Kurt asked. He pulled himself away and looked Blaine in the eyes.

"What happened when I woke up two months ago?"

Kurt took a breath and gave a quick kiss to Blaine. "You had amnesia. You didn't remember anything."

"How is this possible?"

"I don't know. I'm just happy that you're okay and that you came back to me."

"What do you mean?"

"You had no idea who I or anyone else was."

"Did I at least know who I was?"

"No. The last two months have been spent trying to help you get comfortable."

Henry walked in just then with two cups of coffee in hand and stalled when he saw the look of his son awake. "Blaine," was all he could think up to say.

"Dad."

"Y-you know who I am?"

"Sure… Dad." Blaine shifted his eyes back and forth.

Kurt pulled the nurse's call button. "He has his memories back," he offered.

Henry smiled. "You do?" He looked like he might cry.

Blaine nodded and the room began to flood with nurses. The nurses asked Kurt to leave the room, but Blaine held tight of Kurt's hand and informed the nurses that he had to stay.

It wasn't until the early afternoon that Blaine was done with tests and was able to relax in his hospital bed. Kurt sat on the bed with him. They sat facing each other with crossed legs and holding hands. Blaine had tons of questions for Kurt.

"I really didn't know who you were?"

"You didn't know who you were, so I couldn't expect you to know who I am."

"I can't believe you stuck around the way you did. Pretending we weren't together and holding everything inside."

"Of course I stuck around. Why wouldn't I? Don't you know how much I love you?"

Blaine smiled. "Yes." He leaned forward and kissed Kurt quickly. "So wait… If I was out of it for two months, and you weren't my boyfriend, does that mean that you went two months without sex?"

Kurt squinted. He wasn't sure what Blaine was asking. "Well, yeah… Even if I wanted to, who else would I have sex with?"

"No," Blaine chuckled. "That's not what I meant. It didn't come out right."

"Blaine, are you feeling alright? You're pupils are dilated and huge." Blaine's eyes were heavily lidded and scanning over Kurt, appraising him. Kurt recognized the look. _Oh dear God._

Blaine inched closer and knelt on the hospital mattress. "I love you so much for what you did for me." He put his hands on Kurt's shoulders and Kurt's eyes kept close watch in Blaine's actions.

Kurt didn't know what to do exactly. If he leaned backward, Blaine would fall on top of him. His only option was to scoot away sideways, but Blaine wasn't exactly letting that happen. "I love you too. I think I should move away from you for a little bit."

"Why?" Blaine brought his face down to Kurt's level. "Don't you miss me? You haven't seen me in two months. The real me anyway."

Kurt gulped and licked his lips. "Yes, of course I missed you, but Blaine, we're in a hospital."

Blaine cheshired and pressed a kiss to Kurt's lips, knocking him backwards and Blaine falling on top of him, just like he knew would happen. He released his own lips, trying to fight off Blaine's playfulness and demanding nature. "So, we'll be quiet." He attached his lips to Kurt's neck.

"Gah. When-When has that ever happened?" Kurt stammered. He was desperately trying to scoot away or push Blaine, but his efforts were only worth so much and he wasn't about to jostle someone who was in the hospital for a head injury.

"It'll be a learning experience. We'll start now."

"Blaine, you're high."

"Am not."

"Your pupils are the size of marbles. You're on pain medication right now."

"Mmm, still feels good."

"You're parents, or a doctor, or nurse could walk in at any minute."

"We'll be quick."

"Again, when does that ever happen?"

Blaine stuck his bottom lip out. "Come on, baby, don't you want me?"

"I-I-"

The door to his room opened and Blaine, still hovering on top of Kurt, looked over at the stranger standing in the door. A tall, skinny, boy with chocolate brown hair and a neat comb over stood guffawing as he looked at them. "Oh. My. God." He looked hurt.

"Ah-Um." Kurt started franticly pushing Blaine backward and urging him to sit back at the head of the bed. He was trying to avoid eye contact with Sebastian.

"First, no body calls me to tell me he's here. I had to find out from Nick. And now I find him crawling all over you?" Sebastian's words were pointed at Kurt. "You really couldn't leave it well enough alone, could you?"

Kurt glanced at a confused Blaine, who looked both shocked and annoyed at the stranger who was yelling at Kurt. "Um, Blaine, this is Sebastian."

"What?" Sebastian asked.

"Who?" Blaine asked.

"Uhm…" Kurt straightened out his clothes and moved off the bed. He stood on the opposite side, away from Sebastian. "Blaine hit his head and now he remembers everything again… except the last two months." Sebastian just stared. He didn't know how to take in the information.

"Kurt, who is this?" Blaine asked.

"Um."

Sebastian moved closer and tried to smooth out his features. "Blaine, I'm your boyfriend."

Blaine took a second and almost started to laugh. "No, you're not. Kurt's my boyfriend. I don't know who you are." He looked to Kurt for reassurance, but the Kurt and Sebastian looked like they were having an entire conversation with their eyes. "Kurt?"

_He promised he'd tell Sebastian. _Kurt thought. They'd kissed yesterday when Blaine came to tell Kurt everything he was feeling. _He hadn't told him yet. Oh God, I have to tell Sebastian that Blaine cheated on him AND doesn't remember him._ He looked back at Blaine who was waiting for an answer. He took a deep breath. "Actually, Blaine… Sebastian is kind of your boyfriend."

"Kind of?" Sebastian asked pointedly at Kurt.

"That's not possible," Blaine added.

"Blaine, I know this is confusing, but-" Sebastian started.

"I'm sorry," Blaine interrupted. "I understand how this must sound, but Kurt is my boyfriend. I don't know all of what went on, yet, in the past two months, but whatever you and I might've had, I'm sorry. I love Kurt. He's the only one I've ever loved and I could never be without him. I'm so sorry. You obviously care, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now, but Kurt's the one for me."

Sebastian took a breath. Kurt felt awful for him. He could only imagine what his reception might have been like had he told Blaine he was his boyfriend two months ago. "Blaine, if you could just-"

"Kurt?" Blaine looked at Kurt with pleading eyes. He was getting overwhelmed and needed help. Sebastian wasn't getting it and, admittedly, this was a confusing, bizarre thing to happen.

"Sebastian, can I please talk to you outside?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian eyed Kurt with both tolerance and jealousy. "But, Bl-"

"Hallway, please."

Sebastian gave one final look at Blaine and followed Kurt out. "You must be ecstatic."

"I am, but not at your loss. However, this shouldn't come as a surprise to you. I told you he would chose me if he ever got his memories back."

"He doesn't remember me at all."

"I know this is hard for you. Believe me, I know. If it helps, I'll talk to Blaine and once he's settled I'll arrange coffee or something for the two of you."

"Just the two of us, or will you be there too?"

"No, I'll leave you two alone for this one. I understand some things are private."

"I really liked him."

"I know. I'm sorry this is how you found out."

"What happened?"

"He slipped on the ice at my house and hit his head."

"What was he doing at your house?"

Kurt took a deep breath. "I thought he told you first."

"Told me what first?"

"That he loved me and wanted to be with me."

"That's a lie! He told me we were fine. We had plans for today."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I thought he told you because he promised me he would. Then he showed up at my house." There was a long pause. "How did you know he was here?"

"Nick told me."

"Nick? Who told Nick?"

"Quinn."

"Who told her?"

"I don't know. Listen. Is he all right though? Other than forgetting that past two months?"

"Looks like it."

"Well, at least he's safe and sound."

Kurt gently touched Sebastian's crossed arms. "Sebastian, I have to say that I'm not happy that he doesn't remember the past two months. I know how you feel. More than anyone, I know how you feel."

"It's just- Blaine is…" Sebastian trailed off.

"I know. He's special."

"Yeah…"

"Hey, I have to get back in there. I guess I have some explaining to do."

Sebastian looked like he was thinking about something, so Kurt waited. "Before. Um. I mean, yesterday. Before the accident. Did he really tell you that he loved you?"

Kurt nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I knew something was wrong. I mean, he told me that everything was fine, but I knew."

Kurt didn't know what else to say.

"I should go."

"I'll call you soon. I'll make sure that you two get a chance to talk."

"Thanks. Oh, and Kurt?" Sebastian asked, stopping himself. "Why are you helping me? I took your boyfriend. Aren't you afraid I'll just try to take him back?"

Kurt smiled. He almost laughed. Almost. Under any other circumstance, he might have thought he was arrogant, but as it were, "No. I told you before. We're soul mates. You saw how he reacted when he thought I wasn't his boyfriend. He'll always choose me. We'll never stop fighting for each other."

"I know."

"You do?"

Sebastian nodded. "At first I thought that what you said to me in my dorm room was you trying to intimidate me or something, but then I started talking to the other guys. They told me how intense you two are about each other. How you only see each other and no one else." Sebastian huffed. "Of course he went to you yesterday. I'll never be that for him. He never talked about you, but I could just tell that even when we were alone, he was somewhere else. It was always you."

Kurt continued to smile, but it was more thoughtful than proud. "Thank you." Kurt didn't know what else to say. His heart was gushing with emotion. It was this moment that it really hit him that Blaine was back. _His_ Blaine. Or maybe, according to Sebastian, he never left.

"I'll hear from you soon, I guess." They exchanged goodbyes and Kurt returned to Blaine's room, only to find him expectant and a little stern.

"So, I had a boyfriend during those two months and it wasn't you?" Blaine asked. It was more of a statement, but Kurt could hear the missing demand: explain.

"I was getting to that part," Kurt said sheepishly.

"Uh-huh. Sit." Blaine patted the bed in front of him. Kurt did as ordered. "Talk."

An hour later, the two were still discussing Sebastian and arguing over what Kurt should have done instead of letting Blaine date someone who wasn't Kurt.

"What was I supposed to do? You weren't talking to me."

"Um- I love you? You're _my_ boyfriend."

"Right. Because _that_ would have gone over so well. _Oh, Blaine. You're pissed at me, but you should know that you've been my boyfriend all along and I just forgot to tell you over the past month and a half._ Something like that?"

"You let me cheat on you."

"We weren't together. Well, not romantically anyway. However, it wasn't for lack of trying. I did try to take you out, but it never ended well. It always ended with you yelling at me. You did that a lot."

"Did you deserve it?"

"Sometimes. Hey, you should be happy that it was a nice guy, like Sebastian. He took this whole thing really REALLY well. Especially after he found out that you cheated on him."

"At least I cheated on my boyfriend with my other boyfriend. I suppose that's not so bad."

"It wouldn't have mattered anyway because you chose me in the end. Even if you didn't hit your pretty little head and knock you back into place, you still would have me."

Another hour later found the two boys asleep in each other's arms again. So much for arguing.

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><p>You're Welcome :) :P<p>

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	21. Chapter 21

**I'm finally giving what many of you have been asking for** :P one guess what it is ;-)

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><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

Two days had passed and Blaine was back as home. Kurt pretty much lived at his house, taking turns with his family to make sure nothing was amiss. His doctor warned of Blaine maybe experiencing seizures sue to the trauma his brain had been through over the past few months. So far, everything seemed fine and dandy, but they didn't want to take any chances.

It was almost midnight and Kurt was on the "night shift." Beth and Henry had long since gone to bed and Claire and Jared had left hours ago. Blaine was Blaine again, but he was experiencing spells of moodiness. That was expected and nothing that Kurt hadn't been through before with him. The only problem was that now, instead of Blaine being upset about not knowing his past, it was him mostly getting annoyed quickly over something and then he would immediately apologize by wrapping his arms around Kurt and peppering kisses on his face. Then there were times like now that Kurt wasn't prepared for.

Blaine was naked. Completely naked without a stitch of clothing on and half hard. Kurt could only stare, wide-eyed, and blink. Then he realized he was sitting on Blaine's bed and quickly moved before Blaine had a chance to do or say anything. "W-Where did your clothes go?" Kurt stuttered as he blushed.

Blaine stood in the doorway of his own personal bathroom, wearing nothing, but a grin, and leaning on the doorframe. "I took them off."

"I-I can see that. Are you going to put different clothes on?"

"Maybe later." He cheshired and started to move toward Kurt. There was that familiar heaviness to his eyes that Kurt knew and used to love. He still loved it, but now was not an appropriate time to be turned on.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked as he backed up, trying to find a way to keep some space between them.

"I'm making it blatantly obvious and exceedingly easy for you to take what you want. And I know you do." He continued to move closer.

"You have stitches in your head." Kurt stumbled over a stray textbook on the floor.

"I feel fine."

"The doctor said no strenuous activity for a few days." He found himself being corralled by Blaine, almost herded by him, and he was cornered. He tripped over his own messenger bag, in a nervous panic, and fell back into Blaine's lounge chair.

"Kurt, it's way more strenuous trying to fuck you then actually doing it. Also, ten times more stressful." Blaine was now standing directly in front of Kurt, who was sitting in the red chair.

Kurt's mouth was watering at the sight of his boyfriend's semi erect cock right in front of his face. It had been a long time since they'd been intimate and almost just as long since he'd gotten himself off. All the stress and anxiety from the past two months, left him erotically comatose. But now he had his boyfriend back and his boyfriend seemed to want to make up for lost time. This was a rare side to Blaine that Kurt saw only a couple times. It wasn't unheard of for Blaine to be demanding and not so romantic, but it wasn't something that happened often. This was a pure primal side of Blaine that Kurt could see coming when Blaine used curse words to get his point across.

"Blaine, you're begging."

The naked boy's face softened slightly. His confidence was wavering. "Yes. Baby, I'm begging. I'm naked and I'm begging. Just please, pleeaaassse, let me ravage you."

Kurt had pressed himself as far back in the chair as he could. He was faltering. "B-but the d-doctor…"

"The doctor is not who I want to have sex with. We'll go slow. We'll be careful and gentle. Please, Kurt? Baby, please? I love you and I feel like the release I'll get from this will be way better than any pill I could possibly take in the medicine cabinet. Please? Just- please?" Kurt gulped, but didn't answer. His eyes were still wide. Blaine crawled into the chair with Kurt, straddling his lap. He began peppering small kisses around the sides of his face and neck. "Please? I know you want to." He ground down gently and slow. "I can feel it." Kurt's eyes had drifted closed. He hadn't even noticed that he was fully erect. Kurt was definitely losing this battle. "Please?" Blaine whispered before he kissed below Kurt's ear. "Please?"

Kurt inhaled sharply. Blaine knew that the spot below his ear was his weak spot. "Oh Christ." He turned his head and captured Blaine's lips between his own.

He stayed true to his word: slow and gentle. Blaine kissed Kurt languid, yet luxuriously. He was passionate, but without vigor. Every part was slow and drawn out. He worked Kurt's buttons open tantalizingly unhurried and traced his fingers across Kurt's skin like he was afraid Kurt would break. Ironic that it was Blaine being gentle with Kurt when it was Kurt who had to be gentle with Blaine.

Blaine was able to get Kurt's shirt off without allowing him up off the chair, but he had to slide off the chair and down to his knees to tug Kurt's pants off. He kissed up every inch of Kurt's left leg and Kurt shuddered when Blaine got to his inner thigh.

Kurt couldn't believe he was letting Blaine get away with this. He wasn't sure what to think. He wasn't sure he could think at all, but nevertheless, there Blaine was, positioned between his legs and wrapping his hand around the base of Kurt's cock. "Wait. No. Not that."

Blaine looked at Kurt like a puppy who had just been scolded. "But you want it. I want to. It's my favorite-"

"Yes, I know it's your favorite thing to do and I love it when you do it, but when you blow me, you get really into it and enthused and I don't want you to hurt yourself or start doing something that jostles your head." Kurt was soft and loving when he said it. Blaine knew what Kurt was actually saying. _We shouldn't be doing this in the first place, but I love you too much to say no and I don't have the strength to turn you down anyway._ "Careful. Remember?"

Blaine tucked his lips in. His eyes smiled when his lips didn't. "Okay, Kurt. Careful."

Kurt was able to breath for a moment and their eyes locked in a loving glance. "Can we just, slow down a little and maybe continue in your bed?"

Blaine actually smiled this time and nodded his head. They stood up together and turned down the blankets on Blaine's bed. Kurt liked this pace. It was comfortable and a lot safer than ravaging each other the way Blaine intended too at the start. They crawled underneath the covers together and cuddled close. It suddenly dawned on Kurt that this was the first time in a long time that he'd been naked with Blaine. Not only that, but he was quickly reminded that they had broken up, Blaine had another relationship, albeit a short one, and they got back together. For as much pain as Kurt had been through in the past few months, he wasn't feeling as stressed out about the whole thing as he should be. It was like Blaine's entire accident never happened at all. Blaine never stopped loving him and never stopped wanting him. That was very reassuring.

"What?" Blaine asked, reading Kurt's expression.

"I was just thinking about how happy I am that I have you back. I love you so much. I loved the other you too, but I missed _this_ Blaine." He put his hand over Blaine's chest.

"I'm sorry I'm so moody all the time."

"It's okay. I think it might be withdrawals from your pain medication or something. It'll pass."

There was silence and Blaine was tracing his index finger along the outsides of Kurt's face and the curve of his neck. "You're so beautiful."

Kurt jutted his chin out a little and Blaine met him halfway. Their lips connected and Kurt could feel the electricity in their slow, gentle kiss. Blaine's hand slid down Kurt's arm and rested on his hip. He could feel Blaine trying to pull Kurt on top of him. "No, Blaine," he soothed. "Your stitches. You're not supposed to have your head straight back like that."

Blaine conceded and rolled on top of Kurt instead. He kissed and nipped at Kurt's neck, eliciting a small moan from Kurt as Blaine's prize. His hips were positioned between Kurt's legs and he started gyrating, frotting his cock against Kurt's.

"B-Blaine," Kurt moaned. It felt so good to be able to say his name like that again. Something about moaning a name just brings a whole new level to knowing a person. Kurt trailed his hands down and around Blaine's back, settling on grasping his ass. He pushed down, seemingly guiding Blaine's pelvic thrusts.

"Ungh, Kurt." He lips were wet and his breath was hot. He kissed Kurt's soft spot on his neck. "Ungh, you're beautiful. You're so beautiful. I love you."

"Ohgod-Iloveyoutoo."

"H-hold on." Blaine stopped his motions and stretched as best he could to reach for his bed side drawer.

Kurt whimpered. _My, how quickly I change from trying to stay away from him to pouting because he's not dry humping me._

Blaine's hand was digging through the drawer without him looking and finally pulled out a condom and a bottle of lubricant. "Sorry, my love, they weren't where I thought they were."

"Mmm. S'okay. Just put it on."

Blaine smiled at Kurt's impatience. "I love it when you try to fight me and then fail completely." He tore the condom wrapper off and rolled it on himself before hovering back on top of Kurt and kissing his lips.

"I don't fail. I fall. I fall for your every trick and I give in because who am I to deny you your deepest desire?"

"Touché." He kissed Kurt's lips again, parting his lips as he went along.

Kurt heard the top pop off the bottle of lube and felt Blaine's weight shifting above him, but didn't open his eyes. Blaine's favorite thing to do, might have been giving Kurt a blow job because he loved nothing more than to see Kurt come undone and be able to control everything. But his second favorite thing was fingering him at face level. This was an added pleasure that blowing didn't allow. He could accurately see Kurt's face as he came undone. He often thought it was strange because he thought his favorite thing should have been having sex, because there was a mutual orgasm that happened, or getting blown himself, but Blaine often was so over whelmed by the sensations, when he was fucking Kurt, that he frequently lost the ability to think and forgot to watch what Kurt looked like as he moaned and screamed out his pleasures. That was Blaine's real pleasure: watching Kurt. He lived for Kurt, that was for sure. Making him happy was what made Blaine happy. Watching Kurt grow in pleasure and listening to the sounds that came out of him made Blaine even more turned on because he felt powerful. _He _was making Kurt feel this way. _He _was in control of how Kurt felt. He was _making_ Kurt feel intense pleasure and knew exactly what Kurt liked best.

Without warning, he slid a lubricated finger into Kurt's heat and watched as Kurt gasped, open his eyes, shut them again, and moan. He adjusted himself over a little so that his cock was against Kurt's hip. He inserted another finger and pushed and pulled them in and out as he gyrated and rocked his hips against Kurt's. He moaned at the feel of friction against his dick on Kurt's silken skin. He kept himself at pace, occasionally crooking his fingers and touching Kurt's prostate. Just enough to tease Kurt and keep him wanting more, while still giving him the feeling of ecstasy when he hit it, yet making the feeling last longer by not making him climax. _Nope, I'll be inside you when you start screaming for me to make you come if I have any say in it._

"Mmnn," Kurt moaned. "M-more. More."

Blaine inserted finger number three and dipped his head down to capture a peeked nipple gently between his teeth. He dragged his tongue across it and literally felt Kurt's chest contract and shiver. He let it go when he felt Kurt's fingers try to lace themselves in his hair. He moved his head quickly, which made Kurt open his eyes and look at Blaine apologetically. "Stitches," Blaine reminded.

"I know. I'm sorry. I forgot for a second."

"It's okay." He kissed Kurt on the mouth, slipping his tongue past Kurt's lips and meeting Kurt's behind his teeth.

Kurt moaned again when Blaine pushed his fingers in all the way and hit Kurt's pleasure center. Kurt moaned rather loudly considering Blaine's parents were asleep down the hall.

"C-Can I?" Blaine asked. "I want to be inside you now."

"Yes. Ohgodyes."

Blaine re-adjusted his body again and positioned himself at Kurt's entrance. He looked down at Kurt lovingly before kissing him wet and sweet on the mouth. He pushed in, feeling the warmth and tightness from Kurt's body. "Ggmm," he moaned against Kurt's necked.

Kurt responded with a stuttered, "Ah-mmnn." He gripped his fingertips to Blaine's shoulder blades, disbelieving that it had been so long since feeling this with Blaine.

Blaine continued to push into Kurt, thrusting slow and gentle, just like he promised. "Uhng! Oh Jesus, Kurt, you feel so good. Fuck."

"Shit. I missed you so much."

Continuously going slow was proving to be tortuous. Always feeling like they were right there, at the brink of orgasm, but never being able to fall over the edge. Blaine was sure he was going to be giving Kurt finger sized bruises on his hips from grasping him so hard. He moved back and slid his knees underneath Kurt's legs. "Come here," he asked more than demanded. Blaine helped Kurt sit up and with his legs curled up in a really awkward position, thank god for flexibility, Kurt slid himself back onto Blaine's hard dick.

Blaine moaned. "Uhng! Fuck me. Do it. I'll be okay. Uhng! Please fuck me."

Kurt didn't answer, but responded by rocking his hips and picking up speed, impaling himself again and again. "Shit. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Uhng. Blaine."

"Fuck, Kurt. OhfuckIloveyousomuch. Don't stop. Uhng. Oh god don't stop."

Kurt adjusted himself once more. Now his legs were wrapped completely around Blaine and Blaine held Kurt by his ass. Blaine lifted and dropped Kurt again and again, harder each time. Until both of them were moaning and sweating and Kurt came all over Blaine's chest, while Blaine followed suit and exploded inside the condom.

Kurt slumped forward and rested his sweaty head against Blaine's shoulder. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and tucked his face into the crook of Kurt's neck. They were panting together and soaking in the moment.

"Oh man," Blaine chuckled.

"What?" Kurt asked. Blaine could hear the smile in his voice.

"That was way better than the pain pills."

"Mmm. I missed this. The real thing is so much better than fantasizing."

The two of them finally got up and cleaned themselves off. Blaine disposed of the condom and they got back into bed. They had put boxers and pajama bottoms on, but left their chests bare.

"How are you feeling?" Kurt asked.

"My heart is still racing." He took Kurt's hand and put it over his heart. "See?" He meant it as a sign of affection.

"Your doctor said no strenuous activity. If you die because of this, I'll kill you."

Blaine chuckled again. "If I die because of this, I'll die happy."

"Not funny. I already went a long time without seeing you naked, let's not make that happen again."

"I keep forgetting that you went months without this. To me, it's like we were making love in the garden five days ago."

"Well, I couldn't exactly take advantage of you, could I?"

"Couldn't you? I'm sure I wouldn't have said no."

"You were too innocent to take advantage of… and you spent most of your time yelling at me for me to be turned on."

Blaine scrunched up his face. "Sorry?"

"Don't apologize. I understood."

"There is no explanation possible for not wanting any part of you." He kissed Kurt's nose. "You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful," he kissed his cheek, "wonderful," kissed his other cheek, "sexy," kissed his chin, "perfect person and I could never not want you." He took Kurt's chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted Kurt's face before placing a wet and chaste kiss on his lips. "Memory or no memory." Another kiss. "You're radiance probably scared me. But I came back, right?"

Kurt kissed Blaine back. "That's for sure."

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><p><strong>I love Klaine pillow talk :P<strong>

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	22. Chapter 22

**I am soooo sorry to LunaGleek14 because I didn't have this up on your birthday : ( please forgive me?**

Without further ado, here is the conclusion to Remember Me, Remember Us

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><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

**1:00 PM**

"Okay, I got one," Tina started. "Would you rather get thousands of paper cuts all over your body, or get shot once?" She rolled the dice and moved her little tin dog five spaces over.

"Tina, I own that property. You owe me twenty five dollars," Kurt reported. Tina, Mike, Kurt, Artie, Zach, and Blaine were all playing Monopoly at Blaine's house Saturday afternoon. It had been four days since Blaine recovered his memory.

Tina handed over the colorful dollar bills that passed for monopoly money. "I'd rather get shot," Mike answered. "Because, think about it. If you get a paper cut, it stings whenever you touch water and it lasts for days. Paper cuts take nothing to re-open and you wouldn't be able to stand taking a shower or bath."

Artie rolled the dice and moved his cannon piece over three spaces. "I'd also go with the gun shot because you get shot, get patched up, and it's over with."

"Yeah, but a gun shot does damage to whatever it hits," Blaine added and gave Artie the property card that he landed on and purchased. "I'd rather suffer with stinging paper cuts for a week than a gun shot wound that could potentially kill me or harm something important."

"Does the bullet hit something important?" Artie asked Tina. "Because I'm already paralyzed.

"No," she answered. "Um, think upper shoulder where it's mostly all muscle and tissue."

"I'd still go with the gun shot," Artie continued. "Plus, it'd be a great bar conversation to pick up the ladies."

"Kurt, can you please help me in the kitchen?" Blaine asked. "I'm going to get more snacks.

"Sure."

Both boys stood up and walked out of the room, while the three teens continued to through out Would You Rather questions.

"I hope this isn't a ploy to get me alone and have sex in the kitchen," Kurt said with his eyebrows raised. He was still iffy about being too physical, especially after the other night.

Blaine chuckled. "No. Not after that last time. I can't believe we got away with that."

"Well it helps that Jared is sort of oblivious and you were hiding underneath the counter."

"Oh, he wasn't oblivious. He was just being nice and didn't want to make you uncomfortable. He knew exactly what was going on."

"No. Don't tell me that. I won't be able to look at him again." Kurt's face blushed a brilliant pink.

"No worries. He was cool about it."

"How'd you know that he knew?"

"He met me in the hallway that night and nonchalantly told me to brush my teeth because I didn't want to get sperm breath. I was almost offended because I thought he was making fun of me, but then he added 'Kurt looked a little flushed in the kitchen, don't you think? Oh wait, you couldn't know that because you weren't in the kitchen, were you?' I knew right then that he knew. I apologized and he laughed, saying it was fine and at least I was the performer because it would have been weirder to catch his brother with his dick out in the kitchen. I'm not so sure because I've seen my brother naked. You know, locker rooms and saunas and stuff at the country club. I mean, it's gross because he's my brother and all, but I'd rather deal with uncomfortable eye aversion than see him pleasuring some chick."

Kurt palmed his face with both hands and groaned. "Oh man."

Blaine smiled and rubbed his back. "It's fine, really. Don't think about it." There was silence for a minute while Kurt let his face turn back to a normal hue. Blaine held on to of Kurt's wrists and brought his hands down to Kurt's sides. He noticed the only thing on Kurt's wrists was a single watch. "How come you don't wear the bracelet I got you anymore?"

"The one from Tiffany's?" Blaine nodded his head. "It broke. Well, one of the links did and I haven't had a chance to get it fixed."

"Bring it to me some other time, I'll send it out for you."

"No it's okay. I'll take care of it."

"Nonsense. I bought it. I'll get it fixed." Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes as he opened up a cupboard and pulled out Oreo cookies. "I want to take you out tonight."

"I thought we were staying in?"

"We always stay in."

"Not true. According to your memory, last week we went on a double date."

"Yeah and it ended with me getting amnesia for two months and my parents never letting me out of the house again. Come on, please? I want to take you out."

Kurt rolled his eyes again. "You just want to go out. It has nothing to do with wanting to take me out. Besides, you parents said-"

"They aren't even here! They're away at that college thing for Claire and I feel like a caged animal."

"Who is constantly in heat these days."

Blaine grinned wide. "Can you blame me?" He approached Kurt and cupped his hands behind his boyfriend and held his ass. "You wear pants that leave nothing to the imagination and my imagination has you spread out naked on my bed."

"Did that already, remember? The doctor told you no, but you seduced me anyway."

It was clear Blaine found this amusing. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, showing his teeth, and the sparkle in his eyes. "Do you ever get tired of telling me no? You argue the point and then give in anyway. Why not just go with it? We'll go out, have some dinner, and then come and have a quiet night."

Kurt put his hands on Blaine's shoulders. Blaine was right. That's always how things went. Blaine gave Kurt whatever he wanted; he was spoiled that way, but Kurt could never really say no to Blaine. He'd say no over and over while giving him exactly what he wanted. Like the other night. Blaine was begging to have sex and while Kurt kept saying no, he gave in and let Blaine do as he pleased. Now, he'd do the same thing. He'd argue and say no because Blaine's parents expect them to stay in the house, but in the end he'd just go along with whatever Blaine wanted because getting out of the house was important to him. "Okay fine."

"Really?" Blaine asked excitedly.

"Yes, really."

Blaine let go of Kurt and started clapping and jumping up and down like a child. He gave a quick peck on Kurt's cheek. "Can you make that really awesome lemonade you made a few weeks- um…" Blaine stalled and corrected himself. "That time our dads had that football viewing party with the guys from the shop and my dad's law firm?"

Kurt smiled. "Sure, do you have lemons?"

"Honey, my parents are martini freaks. We've got lemons, limes, oranges, cherries, apples, and even those sword things bartenders use to keep the fruit garnishes together." He gave Kurt another peck on the cheek and left the kitchen.

When Blaine went back into the dining room, with the Oreos in hand, he put them on the table. His friends had moved on to another Would You Rather question. "Hey guys?" Blaine interrupted. "I need your help."

**5:00 PM**

"You're awfully attached to your phone," Kurt mentioned before taking a sip of his water.

"Oh. Tina texted me," Blaine replied while punching out a text back to Tina.

"Why?"

"She wanted to know of a place to get out of season flowers."

Kurt crinkled his forehead, which Blaine thought was adorable so he smiled and took a sip of his water. "Why?"

"I don't know. I guess she's looking for an out-of-season flower." Blaine's phone rang again. He opened up the text, looked at it and started punching out a reply.

"Tina again?"

"No. This time it's Mike. Hmm. They must be planning something." He hit the send button.

"Aww. That's sweet. I'm really glad they never broke up. They are the longest running couple in our glee club. I don't think they've had one bump in the road. They bicker sometimes, but they are very much in love."

Blaine reached across the table and linked his fingers with Kurt's. "Like us."

Kurt smiled back. "Yup. Like us."

The waitress came with their food and they let their fingers slip away from one another.

After dinner came magazine shopping in the bookstore and then coffee at the Lima Bean. After coffee, Blaine decided that they'd been out long enough and he wanted to take advantage of the empty house. Kurt tried to argue that he wasn't sure and it may still be too soon for sex, but Blaine compromised and said "Why don't we just go home, pop in a movie, and see where the night takes us?"

Kurt liked that idea, but somehow knew that he'd end up with his clothes off because that's how things always went.

"Did you leave your lights on?" Kurt asked when they pulled into Blaine's driveway.

"I don't think so," Blaine answered when they got out of the car.

"Well there's light coming from your living room windows."

"Weird. I guess I must have left one light on after all."

Kurt looked at Blaine curiously. He replayed the days events in his head, trying to remember if they spent any time in the living room. They had. It was the first thing they did that morning. Blaine's parents were on their way out the door and Kurt and Blaine were eating cereal while watching Project Runway. _Did we turn the light on? Or was it on before we went in the room?_ Kurt was only doubting because Blaine spent a chunk of their night out on his phone and it bugged Kurt. Blaine was never pre-occupied on a date before. Blaine always silenced his phone or ignored every text and phone call unless it was his parents. Date night was about the two of them.

Blaine walked around the car and held Kurt's hand. "Come on. We haven't had dessert yet." He looked at him seductively and pulled Kurt in tow.

They stopped at the door and Kurt put his hand over Blaine's when Blaine put his key in the lock. "Wait. Are you okay?"

Blaine smiled and turned the key, but stalled when turning the door knob. "Yeah, I'm fine." He went back to turning the door and Kurt stopped him again.

"It's just that you spent a quarter of the night on your phone, you were almost silent in the car ride home, and now you don't seem to care if a light was left on. You're not acting like yourself. You're obsessed with energy conservation and singing at the top of your lungs in the car, and… and… and _me._"

Blaine swallowed audibly, leaned up on the balls of his feet, and placed a chaste kiss on Kurt's lips. "Close your eyes," he whispered.

"What?"

"Close you eyes."

"But-"

Blaine covered Kurt's eyes with one hand. "Keep them closed." He released his hand and saw that Kurt had done as he was told. Blaine opened the door and told Kurt to step into the house. He guided him over to the coat rack. "Keep your eyes closed, but take your shoes off." Kurt did as instructed and Blaine helped him out of his jacket. "Are they still closed?" he asked from behind Kurt.

"Yes."

"Okay good. Don't open them until I say." Blaine guided Kurt slowly to the living room. He stood behind him and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist. "Open them."

Kurt opened his eyes and was speechless.

"Surprise," Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear and kissed his neck.

Blaine hadn't forgotten to turn a light off, Kurt realized. There were candles lit everywhere. The furniture was pushed outward and Blaine's duvet cover was spread out on the floor. "Oh my god," Kurt gushed quietly.

Blaine moved around Kurt and held his hand. He pulled him over to the duvet and they sat down. Blaine grabbed a remote that was put on the duvet and he pressed play. Soft music started playing. On the duvet was two plates, two forks, two champagne flutes, and a lot of red rose petals. Next to them was a bottle of sparkling cider, two napkins the were unfolded, clearly covering something, and a container of cheesecake. "What's all this?" Kurt asked, still dazed.

"Well, this morning I realized it was almost Christmas and that meant I missed our one year anniversary of the day we met."

"Blaine, you didn't-"

"I know. But I wanted to give you something that told you how much I love you and how much I admire everything you've done over the past few months."

Kurt thought back to what Amnesia Blaine told him before he hit his head and Old Blaine came back: _"Because anyone who can recall as many memories as quickly as you can and speak of someone so passionately, doesn't let another person go one day without telling them, in some way, that they're special. I doubt a single day went by where he didn't know how much you cared about him."_ The memory made him think of what Blaine was doing now. Blaine would go to any length to show Kurt how much he was loved. There was never a doubt or question about that. "I already know how much you love me and I already know how you feel about what I did while you were check out."

"You're so beautiful."

"I love you."

"I wanted to recreate our date when we told each other that we loved each other for the first time."

"I thought this looked familiar." Kurt smiled and leaned forward. Blaine met him halfway and they kissed with parted lips. "The only thing that's missing is-"

Blaine cleared his throat and gestured off behind Kurt. Kurt turned and saw a cut glass vase filled with peach and yellow roses. Kurt looked back and saw Blaine smirking. He had his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees.

"When did you-? The phone."

Blaine nodded. "Tina and Mike were busy while we were out."

"They did all this for us?"

"Well, Tina got the flowers and cheesecake. Mike was busy getting this." Blaine slipped his hands underneath the napkins and pulled out a robin's egg blue box. He handed it to Kurt.

Kurt looked like he was going to hyperventilate from surprises. He opened the box slowly and carefully, knowing full well this was a Tiffany's box. "My bracelet!" he exclaimed. He took it out of the box and examined it. "You had it fixed! But we'd only talked about it earlier."

"There's an antique jeweler near Dalton that I used to go to when I needed a tune up on my pocket watch. Turns out you don't need a Tiffany's store to fix a Tiffany's bracelet."

"How did you get it?"

"I called Finn when you were in the bathroom and told him that Mike and Tina were stopping by to get it. I told them where it would be and voila."

"You're amazing," Kurt swooned.

"Here, let me help you put it on." Blaine moved forward and with as much excitement as he had the first time he gave the bracelet to Kurt, he fastened the clasp around Kurt's wrist.

Kurt fingered the links with his fingernail the way he always did and grinned like it was a new gift. It felt new. He looked up at Blaine and sighed happily. He looked around before gazing lovingly at Blaine again. "I can't believe you remembered all this."

Blaine grinned proudly. He leaned in slowly. Just before he touched his lips to Kurt's, he smiled. "How could I forget?"

**The End**

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><p><strong>Wanna know a secret? I have an idea for the next one. Well, I have an idea for the next story I'm going to write and I have an idea on how to make the DMTHGF Universe a trilogy... I just thought of it this morning. :) It's a fabulous twist. The new idea will come first. Put me on alert if you're interested in either one :P<strong>

**Thank you so much for all of the continued support in my writing. I love you all soooo much!**


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